Sunshine Girls/Attention *****s

[jnallen]

What is the difference between the Attention ***** and the Sunshine Girl?

Has anyone here have any experiences to offer?

How do I know when I am dating an attention *****?

I think I may be seeing one now. Not sure.

 

[RKTek]

Don't know if there is an official defintion somewhere, but I have dated two different kinds of women that could fit those descriptions.

Girl 1: She was always happy, or seemed to be the natural "cheerleader" type. Few things got her down for long. She was so up all the time people seemed to gravitate to her. I found that some of what she did was a veneer because she wanted her image to be a happy person. She was basically a good person.

Girl 2: This woman was self-centered, self-absorbed and narcissistic. She was an attention wh*re and what you wanted was secondary to what she wanted. Always. In nature, parasites know how to suck your blood just enough to keep you alive. That is how she was. She knew how to be just sweet enough to keep any relationship going as long as she needed it, but her complete aim was selfish. And she thrived on attention.

 

[jnallen]

Originally posted by RKTek


Girl 1: She was always happy, or seemed to be the natural "cheerleader" type. Few things got her down for long. She was so up all the time people seemed to gravitate to her. I found that some of what she did was a veneer because she wanted her image to be a happy person. She was basically a good person.

Girl 2: This woman was self-centered, self-absorbed and narcissistic. She was an attention wh*re and what you wanted was secondary to what she wanted. Always. In nature, parasites know how to suck your blood just enough to keep you alive. That is how she was. She knew how to be just sweet enough to keep any relationship going as long as she needed it, but her complete aim was selfish. And she thrived on attention. [/B]

I am dating one girl that has both of these. What does that mean other than I need to get out quick.

 

[boost]

Look at the motivations behind the two types of women RK is describing. The former type girl isn't motivated by a desire for attention or anything else, really, except maybe her overall love of life in general. There is nothing wrong with this type of girl. She has a self-sufficent personality, if you will. She is self motivated, and doesn't NEED anything from anyone else to keep her going. She likes the attention she gets, but she doesn't feed off of it. This is the way to be, for both guys and girls. I'm definitely attracted to this kind of girl.

The second type girl works in a totally different way. She NEEDS the attention to validate herself as a person. She feeds off of it, and would be nothing/no one without it. Personally, I'm repelled by this kind of girl.

Experience is the only thing that will really let you be able to tell the difference between the two at first glance, but ask yourself the following questions: when you see this girl, are you REALLY happy to see HER? Really? Or are you just there to get some ass? Does seeing this girl help to build you up and really improve your day, or do you feel drained after you've spent some time with her? Your "girlfriend" should definitley be the former.

 

[boost]

Originally posted by jnallen
I am dating one girl that has both of these. What does that mean other than I need to get out quick.

No girls can truly be BOTH. If you see her exhibit BOTH, then she is really girl #2, who is just putting on a show part of the time.

 

[jnallen]

Originally posted by boost


Experience is the only thing that will really let you be able to tell the difference between the two at first glance, but ask yourself the following questions: when you see this girl, are you REALLY happy to see HER? Really? Or are you just there to get some ass? Does seeing this girl help to build you up and really improve your day, or do you feel drained after you've spent some time with her? Your "girlfriend" should definitley be the former. [/B]

It depends on what type she is being that day. Craziness…….

 

[RKTek]

Originally posted by boost
No girls can truly be BOTH. If you see her exhibit BOTH, then she is really girl #2, who is just putting on a show part of the time.

Well all have traits of every human emotion, it's just how much of each that defines our personalities.

So how do you tell a real attention wh*re 'narcissist' who is just putting on a very good act? Here are some important guidelines. Answering "yes" to 75% of these means you've got a real problem on your hands:

A pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy which begins by early adulthood and is present in differing contexts within a person's life.

is grandiose in her sense of self-importance and exaggerates her achievements and talents. She expects to be recognized as superior without achieving any great accomplishments.

is preoccupied with fantasies of her brilliance as well as her unlimited success or power. She fantasizes about beauty or ideal love.

believes that she is "special" or "unique." She feels that she can only be understood by or should associate with other special or high status people.

requires excessive admiration and is on a constant search for admiration.

has a sense of entitlement. She has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment and expect others to automatically comply with her wishes.

takes advantage of others to achieve her own ends and uses others without regards to the feelings of others.

lacks empathy and does not identify with the feelings or needs of others.

is envious of others and believes that others are envious of her.

shows arrogant or haughty behaviors or attitudes and does not care who she offends.

 

[jnallen]

Originally posted by RKTek




lack of empathy which begins by early adulthood and is present in differing contexts within a person's life.



is preoccupied with fantasies of her brilliance as well as her unlimited success or power. She fantasizes about beauty or ideal love.



requires excessive admiration and is on a constant search for admiration.

has a sense of entitlement. She has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment and expect others to automatically comply with her wishes.

takes advantage of others to achieve her own ends and uses others without regards to the feelings of others.

lacks empathy and does not identify with the feelings or needs of others.

is envious of others and believes that others are envious of her.

shows arrogant or haughty behaviors or attitudes and does not care who she offends.

She has these traits

 

[boost]

Unfortunately, MOST girls are the attention ***** type... I hate to use this as an example, but since "Casino" was on TV last night... "Ginger" (Sharon Stone) from that movie, and her relationship to DeNiro is a perfect textbook example. He should have seen the warning signs early on and got the hell away from her, but he was motivated by other social status factors to keep her.

In a real life deal, some guys can see the signs, but their judgement is just clouded by the sex... while some guys can't even see the signs at all. If you see signs of this type of behavior, all you can do (if you are going to keep seeing her), is be aware that its there, and that it will onlly increase as time goes on.

You say your girlfriend has shows both #1 and #2 type personality traits... usually though, #2 tends to dominate in the end. Just be aware of it.

 

[jnallen]

That’s what I figure will happen if I keep going out with her. I may start distancing myself from her because these chicks like this are bad news. Just a lot of heartache in the long run. These chicks like this also tend to end up single in the long run also. She has a couple of kids too. These two things are definitely going to work against her.
I know the guy that use to date her who ended up cheating on her and dumping her. He said she has a real bad attitude. Haven’t seen that side of her yet.

 

[Ronin I]

It seems that in this thread we're confusing narccisitic behavior with an attention wh0re. To me they are two very different things.

To me an attention wh0re is by very definition insecure and has very low self esteem. This is just the oppposite of a narccisist who walks around thinking that her sh*t doesn't stink.

Do a search on personality disorders - narcissistic, dependent and histrionic.

Also check out this thread.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27729&highlight=attention

I will admit that the one thing that the narcissist and the attention wh0re have in common is that both are incredibly ego-centric, self-absorbed and SELFISH.

 

[RKTek]

Originally posted by jnallen
She has these traits

My only response is:

Oh.....My....God!

The site that I copied these traits from was "How to tell if the person you love has Narcissistic Personality Disorder".

JN, every person has some degree of every personality trait. That's normal. Some traits are like paint, a thin veneer. But someone with a personality disorder is like marbleized beef, in that the traits run completely through them and are thus impossible to get rid of.

Might I suggest you go to this site and read it? Notice the index at the bottom. Try to read everything there before making a decision:

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/index.html

 

[jnallen]

I think she has low self esteem even though she tries to throw out there that she has high self esteem. No one who seeks attention like she does could possibly have high self esteem.

 

[boost]

Originally posted by jnallen
I think she has low self esteem even though she tries to throw out there that she has high self esteem. No one who seeks attention like she does could possibly have high self esteem.

I'd have to agree... girls who have to "feed off others" to go about their daily lives tend to be very insecure deep down, even if they attempt to portray otherwise to other people.

 

[RKTek]

Originally posted by Ronin I
It seems that in this thread we're confusing narccisitic behavior with an attention wh0re.

In my original post I said that I didn't know if there was a specific already published definition of this. What is significant at this point is that he's already identified enough of the traits of Narcissistic to at least start thinking she's on that track.

Again the usual disclaimers apply, we're not trained psychologists, this is not a clinical test, your mileage may vary, etc.

 

[jnallen]

After the last one I was with I don't think I want to chance it again. The last one was Histrionic/Narcisstic and was a total bi**h!