(Summarized Version) My best friend is dating a girl I used to **** with, what do I do?

Asterix

Don Juan
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I wrote a very long post yesterday about this situation but I was highly emotional when writing it and it was mostly filled with unnecessary information. I've summarized things with some questions I have about the matter.

I go to university and I met this first year that I clicked with. She was into me and we started hanging out intimately. We ****ed a couple of times, but I'm not taking courses this academic year so I mostly had to drive down to see her. Now, I'm out of the country and I won't be back until summer. I'd be staying with my family for a few months and I won't be able to meet a lot of new women because I'm from a really strict household.

My best friend knew about me ****ing this girl and even gave me advice sometimes. We shared a lot of things between each other like the girls we were messing with and all that. To be honest, I caught feelings for her because she was my first sex but I never really admitted it to anyone. Besides, I'm not in school at the moment, so I didn't want a long distance relationship. But it was surprising to me when I left the country and she told me some time later that she was dating my best friend. I found it uncool and I reacted emotionally. I noticed he was avoiding me and didn't mention it (which he would if it was anyone else). I blocked and unblocked her, basically acted like a ***** (she even said i was acting girly). It was hurtful because I had feelings for her, my best friend knew about us (I didn't tell him I liked her though), and she had told me she wasn't attracted to him. Now, they're dating. I called her and talked to her about it but she is adamant about continuing the relationship.

I've been thinking about it a lot, it has affected my mood for days and I felt the emotions overwhelm me. I'm starting to take things easy now and not feel it as much though.

That's the basic summary of the situation. I need advice concerning certain things because I'm really thinking deep about my life now:

1. How do I handle this situation with her and my best friend? We are in the same social circle and have a lot of mutual friends. We would see each other very frequently. She wants to be friends though and she's telling me not to stop being friends with my best friend.

2. I know I'm not mature when it comes to my emotions. I get emotional easily and let it overwhelm me most times. A lot of women (even this one) I've been with have told me I'm emotional and act girly sometimes. It's the one thing I wish I could change in my life, I keep trying but it's hard because that's how I've always been. And I think my mum is more dominant than my father so it probably affected me somehow growing up. How do I stop being overly emotional, how can I control my emotions? I also lack masculine energy and self awareness. I want to be a confident man who is aware of himself and not impulsive. I want to stop being a nice guy.

3. How can I stop thinking about her? The funny thing is she was the one who was into me at first and made the first moves because I was a ***** and very nervous. I never really liked her like that but I think her disvirgining me made me very attached. I have about 4/5 months until I go back to the country and see them again.

4. How do I improve my life, frame, game and move on from here generally so this never affects me again?

Thank you.

3.
 
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