Suddenly lost feeling with a serious GF. Don't know what happened to me.

[Fela Kuti]

Hello,

This problem is maybe more appropriate to be posted on some relationship forum or something but I'm really interested in hearing the DJ's point of view.

To cut the story short, I just broke up with my 2 year GF. A few months ago we got serious, ie. planning the future, marriage, etc. But then, for a reason that is still unknown, my feeling just dropped significantly. I don't feel anything when I was with her. Meeting her was more of a chore than something fun.

So, I decided to propose a break to her, to see if it was just a rut or I really had lost my feeling toward her. A week gone by and I didn't miss her one bit.

Long story short I decided to break up with her because I couldn't be in a relationship where I didn't have the urge to give 100%. She accepted it but she also let me know that my decision hurt her bad. It's not like there's a big problem and so she was kinda shocked. There was lump in my throat because I really felt her and I felt like a cruel man, just dumping her like that out of the blue.

I don't know man, if my decision is correct or not. What do you think? She is a girl that has the qualities to be a good wife and mother. But on the other side, I just don't know if I can revive my feeling toward her. One more thing to note, we broke up twice before this basically because I felt she was too needy and demanding. But that has nothing to do with this breakup because she is more mature now which was the reason I got back with her for the second time.

Thanks!

 

[bigneil]

You're not quite lovers and you're not quite friends, after the thrill is gone. - The Eagles

I know the feeling - been on both sides of that. It's better to be the dumper than the dumpee though. Not sure you can ever get the feeling back.

 

[vwmaniac]

The same thing happened to me, but in reverse. Things felt great and she blindsided me. I realized that the reason I didn't see it coming is because we didn't connect on a level that allowed it, we just didn't get each other. Since it shocked her, she just hasn't had enough time to reflect and see it wasn't meant to be. I think back and can see the signs were there after just a few dates that I wouldn't be with her for life. That wasn't my plan at the time anyway so I let it ride. I'm just learning how to go after more than one at a time, and I strongly believe it's easier to find your best match from a pool of 100 short runs than to settle for the 4th or 5th that comes along.

I agree with your decision, especially since you didn't miss her at all. Eventually that will be more apparent to her and cause all kinds of headaches. Good luck, hope my perspective helps.

 

[st_99]

Just sounds like she wasn't the one, you have more life to live, more girls to do, etc.
No biggie, it happens.

The fact that YOU broke it off shows a lot of maturity IMO. Usually guys hang around and the girl ends up leaving after it gets really bad. And so time is wasted.