Stuffed up bad - Help!?

[Smiley]

Hi everyone

Long time reader, and first time poster. I really need some advice on my current situation. I have been seeing my current Girlfriend for 18 months now and we get on like a house on fire (thanks to this site). Everything sounds great, right?! Wrong. I ****ed up really bigtime and I need advice on what to do.

I was out without her recently, and I got really really drunk and another girl kissed me. Me being horny, trashed and lonely, I went along with it for a while, before realising what was going on. I have barely any memory of this and have NO interest in this other girl whatsoever. It was a total **** UP and I know that.

Well, I have been totally honest with my Girlfriend and told her exactly what happened and she is really upset, which is understandable. There is alot of stuff on this site about how to get girls etc, but not what to do if you stuff up!! I REALLY care about this girl and want to stay with her and would like some advice. This girl is ONE OF A KIND.

So far I have done the following.

- Went and saw her afterwards, telling her what happened.
- Sent her a letter, telling her how sorry I am, and pleeding for a second chance (totally AFC, but can't do much else at the moment)
- Sent her Flowers and apologised again (yes, AFC again, I know!)
- Called her a couple of times, but didn't last long, she didn't really want to talk.
- I'm taking her out again in a couple of days, so we'll talk about it and such I guess.

This is on my mind and I can't think about anything else?! how do you deal with this? Like an AFC? What is the best way to deal with such situations, what sort of things have other people done?

I'm pretty sure she's giving me a second chance, but what should I do to get her interest back? and more Importanly, her trust.

Should I stop saying sorry and just move on?
Or keep being a Major suck up?
Or just continue like things are normal?

Advise Please - Greatly Appreciated.

 

[Smiley]

Hmm - No one has any suggestions?

 

[Smiley]

One last bump!?

 

[xblitz44x]

You did fvck up. Part of her feels betrayed, the other part is her ego getting hit that you needed to hook up with another chick. It's going to be a tough one to sew up. If you like her as much as you say you do, and you don't want this situation to ever happen again - then I would advise you write your girlfriend another letter, and tell her something like this:

"Listen I don't know if you will or won't take me back. I understand your decision either way. But, for me, I'm going to stop drinking for awhile. Between my stupidity and the influence of alchohol I have managed to destroy the most special relationship that we built together, and the future together that I've always dreamed of."

Something like that. From there, write something to let her know that you'll give her the space she needs for now, and that you respect her decision...and then, let her choose.

-Blitz

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Next time, keep your mouth shut. ... best suggestion I can give. There's a good chance she'll be banging someone else in the near future, you can bank on that. I'm sorry bro, you did f*ck up big time. Made the same mistake you did in my teens. Once I left for Florida for vacation, she f*cked my best friend. ...when I returned, she acted like nothing had happend, loving and kissing me, hanging all over my jock. Her brother eventually told me. I confronted her about it, she said she was getting me back for what I did, but felt cheated out of the whole deal cuz my buddy was a lousy f*ck with a small d*ck. She knew where the good sh*t was.

Anyway, unless you guys are picking out curtains together, have fun, becareful, and don't screw yourself like that again.

 

[Donny Brasco]

Originally posted by xblitz44x


"Listen I don't know if you will or won't take me back. I understand your decision either way. But, for me, I'm going to stop drinking for awhile. Between my stupidity and the influence of alchohol I have managed to destroy the most special relationship that we built together, and the future together that I've always dreamed of."

-Blitz

For christ sakes do not say this.

Do not do anything. Say nothing. You already apologised. Punish yourself by NOT SEEING OR SAYING ANYTHING TO HER. If she calls avoid her, if she writes send it back without opening it. This relationship is in trouble for 2 reasons:
1) Your an idiot and you got caught
2) You have given her every ounce of power in the relationship and then you TOLD HER!
Number 2 is way worse then #1.

I hate this saying but it works well here - let her go and MAKE her come back to you by not being an AFC wuss. When she comes crying back wondering why you betrayed her and then stopped calling tell her something about punishing yourself and you never expected her to come back to you, but she did so I guess she still wants you. Then you might tell her about slowing down the drinking and how much you've been thinking about what she means to you.

OK, thats ny advice, I know you'll do the old AFC thing, let me know how it goes so I can say "I told you so".

PS, this AFC wussy thing might work for a few months, but once she knows what a wuss you are I'd say she's moving on.

 

[Smiley]

Originally posted by Donny Brasco


2) You have given her every ounce of power in the relationship and then you TOLD HER!
Number 2 is way worse then #1.

PS, this AFC wussy thing might work for a few months, but once she knows what a wuss you are I'd say she's moving on.

This is main worry, even if we do get back together, she will have the power. Well, we are talking and such again, but things are still really weird. Also, for the record, I couldn't have not told her, some of her friends knew, and if i didn't fess up, then they would have.

It's quite as a **** situaton, as I still feel totally the same about her, but just from one night on the piss i've stuffed it.

sigh.