Study findings on husband/wife interaction in news headlines this week

[edger]

Someting you guys might wanna check out. I'm sure you guys have seen this in the news recently. Found this on Yahoo news. They say in this study that according to research wives who have "control" in the realtionship could contribute to a healthy relationship.




http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20070711/sc_livescience/studywomenareinchargeathome

 

[grinder]

Women who read this will now say that it is “scientifically proven” that better marriages have the woman in charge and dominating at home.

And more disturbing, many men can use this as justification for their AFC behaviour.

So this, and the inevitable corroborating studies, will continue to push men to be more and more passive.

A part of me gets angry about this, but the selfish part realizes that real men will simply become more and more desirable.

 

[RedPill]

This article sure didn't try very hard to veil its agenda behind the guise of a "scientific study."

Reason #34206343 to stay vigiliant against mainstream media and women who follow it.

 

[edger]

This article sure didn't try very hard to veil its agenda behind the guise of a "scientific study."

Reason #34206343 to stay vigiliant against mainstream media and women who follow it.

So these research studies we always hear about then regarding men/women interaction are falsely made up? That's pretty f*cked up.

Personally, I don't believe the study based on my experiences, so I would be one to say it's b.s. Whenever I played the passive role in the past, I got played or f*cked over. And I played the passive role because I thought it would help my game. Right. That was part of the 10%(rough estimate) about women that we come to know that can only be learned through trial and error.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not trying to slight anyone, but the study involved 72 married couples in Iowa.

 

[Vulpine]

Personally, I don't believe the study based on my experiences, so I would be one to say it's b.s.

Right. I don't buy it either. They had to have taken 100% of the "test group" straight out of suburbia: each having 2 kids in soccer, a minivan, and a yapping little min-pin or chihuahua.

I mean, seriously, what kind of man lets the pet of the house be a dog that would get it's azz kicked by a cat?

A dog that get's his azz kicked by a cat (puzzy), that's what kind.

I guess I do believe the study.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

After 11 years of being married I can tell you my wife would file for divorce if she felt I wasn't the decisive head-ofthe-household. Women, particularly married women, want security above all else and if a man is unable or unwilling to embody that security for her she will fill that vacuum herself by assuming control. Thus you see the prevalence of married AFCs aquiescing to their wive's demands and asking permission to do things independently from them.

 

[Mr.Positive]

After 11 years of being married I can tell you my wife would file for divorce if she felt I wasn't the decisive head-ofthe-household. Women, particularly married women, want security above all else and if a man is unable or unwilling to embody that security for her she will fill that vacuum herself by assuming control. Thus you see the prevalence of married AFCs aquiescing to their wive's demands and asking permission to do things independently from them.

That's the thing though Rollo...she LETS you lead. Your leading the household is great because she ALLOWS it.

There is a fine line between leading a relationship and controlling it. In marriage, if she decides, your leading becomes controlling....and controlling, is emotional abuse in the eyes of marriage law.

Then, you are an emotional abuser...loose your ass in divorce. She financially benefits, gets to play the victim card, and then gets a whole bunch of "woo is me" attention from it.

I really think we are kidding ourselves if we think we can lead a marriage.

We can lead a relationship before marriage, because we have the trump card. We can next..we can date other women, etc.

You can't next your wife.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Not trying to slight anyone, but the study involved 72 married couples in Iowa.

I saw that too. Anyone who knows the basics about how proper stuides are supposed to be done would know that 1.) 72 couples is not a representative sample of the general population and 2.) limiting the area of people chosen to Iowa also is not a representative sample of the population.

There is no way the word "science" could ever be linked to this "study."

The journalists for the mainstream media must all be clinically retarded to even report such a thing as "truth."

:kick:

 

[azanon]

After 11 years of being married I can tell you my wife would file for divorce if she felt I wasn't the decisive head-ofthe-household. Women, particularly married women, want security above all else and if a man is unable or unwilling to embody that security for her she will fill that vacuum herself by assuming control. Thus you see the prevalence of married AFCs aquiescing to their wive's demands and asking permission to do things independently from them.

I absolutely agree with this. 14 years of marriage and I am the clear leader in my household. My wife is a professional with a job, but even she wants security and I can tell nothing gets her off more than my "in-charge" attitude and the confidence I have to overcome any obstacle.

Now my wife wants to know her opinion counts, and I agree with the comments about controlling being bad. If one's "leadership" constitutes outright "controlling", that isn't healthy. Its not hard to tell.... and know the difference between the two.

Remember, leadership and confidence also involves allowing them to have a bit of their own space. I encourage the wifey to go have fun with her friends, and when she gets back, I only want to hear what she volunteers. If you have trust in your relationship, that's all you really need.

 

[STR8UP]

Not trying to slight anyone, but the study involved 72 married couples in Iowa.

haha....that's where the one chick i was seeing just moved to be with her new FIANCEE after dating him for only a few months. They must breed them to work the fields in those parts...WHOOOOPISH!.....lol

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I saw that too. Anyone who knows the basics about how proper stuides are supposed to be done would know that 1.) 72 couples is not a representative sample of the general population and 2.) limiting the area of people chosen to Iowa also is not a representative sample of the population.

There is no way the word "science" could ever be linked to this "study."

The journalists for the mainstream media must all be clinically retarded to even report such a thing as "truth."

:kick:

Thank you...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

haha....that's where the one chick i was seeing just moved to be with her new FIANCEE after dating him for only a few months. They must breed them to work the fields in those parts...WHOOOOPISH!.....lol

Wooooo Doggie! Yeee-haw!!!!

 

[STR8UP]

I guess this "study" is creating quite a stir.....

Ran across a blog on AOL where a guy was commenting on this thing. I was scrolling down through some of the replies and saw this one by a woman-

9. Women have always dictated a relationship. Even more so these days since men have become drooling clowns!

Now I don't agree with the study at all, so this woman is 50% full of sh!t.

But the second sentence she wrote was interesting. "Even more so these days since men have become drooling clowns!"

If that doesn't sum up the state of MANhood as we know it today, i don't know what does!

 

[edger]

That's the thing though Rollo...she LETS you lead. Your leading the household is great because she ALLOWS it.

There is a fine line between leading a relationship and controlling it. In marriage, if she decides, your leading becomes controlling....and controlling, is emotional abuse in the eyes of marriage law.

Then, you are an emotional abuser...loose your ass in divorce. She financially benefits, gets to play the victim card, and then gets a whole bunch of "woo is me" attention from it.

I really think we are kidding ourselves if we think we can lead a marriage.

We can lead a relationship before marriage, because we have the trump card. We can next..we can date other women, etc.

You can't next your wife.

So you agree with the study?

If men can lead a NON-married relationship, then how do you figure they wouldn't be able to lead a MARRIED relationship?, or be able to NEXT his wife? I'm not quite following ya on that one.

As far as "nexting" the wife is concerned, I can see that being more DIFFICULT because of all the sh*t he'd have to deal with following a divorce(assuming you both financially have a lot invested together), but NOT being able to next a wife?..c'mon.

 

[edger]

Hmm, I noticed they didn't say how many husbands out of the 72 were passive and how many wives out of the 72 were controlling. Interesting. Cause that's what you're supposed to include in a study. That's the most crucial part of it. Seems a little suspicious. Lying about research is a crime as far as I'm concerned! Lying about a study like this can horribly f*ck a lot of men up! That's some serious sh*t, no joke at all!

 

[Fisherman]

Lying about a study like this can horribly f*ck a lot of men up! That's some serious sh*t, no joke at all!

I'd say that a man that changes his entire ways in his relationship just because he read one study in an article is already f*cked. A man in real control wouldn't so easily be misleaded.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

POSITIVE, we can debate semantics here all day long about what 'leading' and 'controling' mean to men and women, and any lawyer worth his salt is going exploit terms to win as big a settlement as he possibly can. The fact remains that there is going to be a masculine and a feminine in any relationship, a dominant and a submissive, even in homosexual relationships. So try to understand these terms in a literal sense rather than the negative connotations that pop culture has colored them with in the past 60 years.

When a woman perceives that her husband isn't stepping into the role of Man, Father, Husband and Provider - especially if this is in an emotional sense - she will necessarily fill that vacuum in power on her own. I'll give you a case in point; I used to play in a band with a guy who was a former Marine. Dave was a well paid guy who worked for a tech firm, he did his own home improvement work, could do cabinentry and wood work, was an amazing musician and singer, but was probably the worst example of a married AFC I've ever known. He married this absolute shrew of a woman who was a single mother of 2 and had been sexually abused as a teenager by a family member. This woman had a deep distrust of men and she was very vocal about it. She didn't work, she marginally took care of the house and would ride and berate Dave publicly. They eventually had a daughter together and now at 14 she's picked up on the same habits as her mother. I can remember times at rehersal where his daughter would come into our practice space and sternly tell me it was TIME for him to come home NOW in the exact same tone his wife used with him. His wife would even answer for him when someone else was asking him a question and he'd put up with all of this.

But the thing that took me the most about this AFC marriage was when my wife got into it with her one time for her being a shrew and him not standing up to her and she'd adamantly defend him as being a "real man" and how dare she think any less of him for putting up with her sh!t. Even when she grossly domineered this guy she still wanted to think of him as being the Man in the relationship when she knew she was the dominant and he was the submissive in the marriage.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hmm, I noticed they didn't say how many husbands out of the 72 were passive and how many wives out of the 72 were controlling. Interesting. Cause that's what you're supposed to include in a study. That's the most crucial part of it. Seems a little suspicious. Lying about research is a crime as far as I'm concerned! Lying about a study like this can horribly f*ck a lot of men up! That's some serious sh*t, no joke at all!

They didn't mention their ages, the length of their marriages, whether it was their first marriage or not, whether either or both were Iowa natives; the list goes on and on. Although they may not be lying, I question their thoroughness.

 

[Mr.Positive]

POSITIVE, we can debate semantics here all day long about what 'leading' and 'controling' mean to men and women, and any lawyer worth his salt is going exploit terms to win as big a settlement as he possibly can. The fact remains that there is going to be a masculine and a feminine in any relationship, a dominant and a submissive, even in homosexual relationships. So try to understand these terms in a literal sense rather than the negative connotations that pop culture has colored them with in the past 60 years.

When a woman perceives that her husband isn't stepping into the role of Man, Father, Husband and Provider - especially if this is in an emotional sense - she will necessarily fill that vacuum in power on her own.

Rollo..thanks. I think I understand your point, and needed to hear it.

Lately, I've been having a huge negative attitude towards marriage, and I think it's not healthy actually.

It really helps to get the real deal from a man that has a successful marriage, dispite all the BS in our society today.