Strange consequence of self improvement

[SayWhat]

Today I went out to an after work party. It's been a while since I went to a party, I usually just go to a bar.

After reading so many stuff, I just saw everyone acting in a way to be noticed or to try to be self confident. Girls dancing or laughing too much at a given moment, guys wearing fancy clothing (I don't mind fancy clothing, it was just obvious for those particular guys and at that moment. And I just felt disgusted, people trying to be who they are not...

And still even though I knew, I still felt inferior, they still were better than me. Something is wrong in my head (see my 'very sad post'), but I can't figure it out.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Today I went out to an after work party. It's been a while since I went to a party, I usually just go to a bar.

After reading so many stuff, I just saw everyone acting in a way to be noticed or to try to be self confident. Girls dancing or laughing too much at a given moment, guys wearing fancy clothing (I don't mind fancy clothing, it was just obvious for those particular guys and at that moment. And I just felt disgusted, people trying to be who they are not...

And still even though I knew, I still felt inferior, they still were better than me. Something is wrong in my head (see my 'very sad post'), but I can't figure it out.

Your over analyzing it, this is what people do at parties. They dress up and act out. It's been like this for 1000's and 1000's of years, even before Christ.

 

[sph21]

Stop comparing yourself with others. It's a sure way to have a misery life.

Think something like this in your head instead: "To know me is to love me. I am that wonderful. It doesn't matter if others are behaving by not being themselves. It's their own choices. I chose to be awesome instead by controlling what I really am".

To be successful, you must control your own mind.

 

[SayWhat]

I know it's all in my head, but I can't control it. I try to think positive thoughts but everything is being analyzed.

Yesterday at that party, we stood around a table, I was constantly thinking "how should I stand so I look the most confident? Leaning on the table is not good as it comes over as closed, crossing my arms is even more closed, standing upright would probably look stupid, should I place my foot like this or like that, cross my legs or no".

You can tell I had a great time . Even some of my friends said I was not spontaneous.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This is classic of someone who is really starting to digest the red-pill. It has less to do with males vs. females etc. but more to do with societal conditioning (blue-pill) at large.

Here is an excellent summary of what many experience:
http://lifeblazing.com/2008/09/22/side-effects-of-the-red-pill/

As Daddy says though, it is what people do at parties and the secret is to party with people you genuinely like and get along with - people like you.

Once you have fully ingested the red-pill, you may find yourself re-engaging with certain aspects of blue-pill culture anyway otherwise you tend to stick out like a sore thumb.

Equally like always attracts like and sooner or later, you will meet people who are like you, even at those same sort of parties.

Glad to see you talking about other stuff and moving on from the previous drama finally. Good work!

 

[Konada]

Well everyone can feed you the positive mindset bullsh!t while you continue to wallow in self-pity.

Here's the reality: You suck. Accept that this is the situation and the kind of person you are right now. You can continue to talk yourself down or you can accept that in reality you're not as great as you thought out to be and do something about it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You are too narcissistic. It's because you have now created your own comfort zone. Once you begin socializing and doing crazy fun sh!t, you just can't stop really (unless you basically make yourself stop). Once you start, you build up momentum and stay as a very social outgoing person. It's good not to be too hyper, but being spontaneous and doing/saying what you want (simply because you feel like it) is good. Force yourself to be more social.

 

[ZTIME]

I won't tell you that you suck, but you are suffering from a horrible lack of self confidence. This normally happens when you've put the needs of someone way above your own only to be dumped as a consequence. It destroys your ego. Yet everyday you are met with the same question: "what will you choose to do about it?"

You see, life is about a string of choices that you make on a daily basis. Do I get up for work today or not? do I eat today or not? do I work out today or not? Do I take this very day and use it to start myself on a path of physical and mental healing?.......It's always your choice and yours alone.

Standing in a crowd at a party and looking for some sort of social validation so that you can feel good about yourself is not the way to live life. I think you already knew that though. That's why you started the thread. Your looking for the SS brethren to tell you it's ok.

You can choose to be controlled by others or you can choose to become a great man.

“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others” - Buddha.

 

[SeymourCake]

"Extroverted Nice Guys have more success then introverted Don Juans." - Book of Pook page 165

Stop analyzing and move out of your head, and into your body. You should have been having fun out there.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Stop overanalyzing everything and just have fun. It's that simple.