A year ago I dated this party girl who was seriously hot and sexy, easily an 8 or a 9. Usually I would avoid dating that kind of girl, hell usually that sort of girl wouldn't want to date me. But weirdly from the start with me she was sweet and vulnerable and seemed to really like me so my natural caution of getting involved with her disappeared and I fell for her really hard. She had a huge sex drive but outside the bedroom she was very very sweet and affectionate. She also used to compliment me all the time and say how much she liked me etc.
Anyway I didn't realise I was being played until she starts acting really weirdly around four months in when I accidentally let my guard slip and told her how I feel. She started saying weird stuff like she was a bad person and I didn't really know her and was moody around me and one date just burst into tears and wouldn't stop crying and said she was so screwed up and needed to be alone and how I deserved so much better and she'd slept with like five men during the four months we were going out and couldn't keep stringing me along anymore. She said she didn't see it as a serious thing and didn't think we were exclusive or anything but had come to realise that I did and she wasn't being fair to me. I asked her why she felt the need to tell me about her sexual exploits and she said she thought it would make me realise how wrong she was for me and make it easier for me to move on from her.
I didn't stay in contact and she made no effort to stay in touch so that was it.
But I was hurt pretty bad and it lasted a long time. I'd never felt that way about a girl before and it sucked that my feelings seemed to be almost completely unrequited. I also felt like such a fool for not realising what was going on: I knew she was going out with her friends but didn't question her because I didn't want to seem possessive or jealous and told myself she just liked to dance with her friends.
I tried dating other girls but I felt nothing for them and it just seemed such a waste of time. I even started screwing around which is completely out of character for me and didn't help at all just made me feel cheap. I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore but she still represents something to me: the bad girl type I've always felt attraction towards even though I know they are bad for me. And after her the pretty (but nowhere near as hot as her) good girls I've always dated just seem boring in comparison and while I know they are the type of girl I should fall for, I never seem to.
I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore but I've become bitter and cynical and am turning into a bit of a jerk.
I started learning this stuff so that I could get better at meeting and attracting girls with the intention of getting a beautiful girlfriend. But I've ended up using it to get girls in bed that I have no romantic interest in. Maybe it is because I am scared of getting hurt again, or maybe having dated a girl as hot as my ex it makes it difficult to fall for the 6s and 7s I consistently attract (before I started I was too shy to talk to any girls so have come some way since there).
The problem is my ex represented a type of girls I've always been attracted to but thought unattainable: sexy, full of life, vivacious, charming, confident. So different from the quiet, shy girls I usually go out with. But at the same time usually not girlfriend material because they like to go out and party and that is not something I like doing. I'm more of an introverted, serious type.
So even if I was able to get my game up to a level where I could attract these girls, I wouldn't be able to get them to commit and do not want the casual relationships they seem to be into.
So Im feeling a bit screwed up
Anyway I didn't realise I was being played until she starts acting really weirdly around four months in when I accidentally let my guard slip and told her how I feel. She started saying weird stuff like she was a bad person and I didn't really know her and was moody around me and one date just burst into tears and wouldn't stop crying and said she was so screwed up and needed to be alone and how I deserved so much better and she'd slept with like five men during the four months we were going out and couldn't keep stringing me along anymore. She said she didn't see it as a serious thing and didn't think we were exclusive or anything but had come to realise that I did and she wasn't being fair to me. I asked her why she felt the need to tell me about her sexual exploits and she said she thought it would make me realise how wrong she was for me and make it easier for me to move on from her.
I didn't stay in contact and she made no effort to stay in touch so that was it.
But I was hurt pretty bad and it lasted a long time. I'd never felt that way about a girl before and it sucked that my feelings seemed to be almost completely unrequited. I also felt like such a fool for not realising what was going on: I knew she was going out with her friends but didn't question her because I didn't want to seem possessive or jealous and told myself she just liked to dance with her friends.
I tried dating other girls but I felt nothing for them and it just seemed such a waste of time. I even started screwing around which is completely out of character for me and didn't help at all just made me feel cheap. I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore but she still represents something to me: the bad girl type I've always felt attraction towards even though I know they are bad for me. And after her the pretty (but nowhere near as hot as her) good girls I've always dated just seem boring in comparison and while I know they are the type of girl I should fall for, I never seem to.
I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore but I've become bitter and cynical and am turning into a bit of a jerk.
I started learning this stuff so that I could get better at meeting and attracting girls with the intention of getting a beautiful girlfriend. But I've ended up using it to get girls in bed that I have no romantic interest in. Maybe it is because I am scared of getting hurt again, or maybe having dated a girl as hot as my ex it makes it difficult to fall for the 6s and 7s I consistently attract (before I started I was too shy to talk to any girls so have come some way since there).
The problem is my ex represented a type of girls I've always been attracted to but thought unattainable: sexy, full of life, vivacious, charming, confident. So different from the quiet, shy girls I usually go out with. But at the same time usually not girlfriend material because they like to go out and party and that is not something I like doing. I'm more of an introverted, serious type.
So even if I was able to get my game up to a level where I could attract these girls, I wouldn't be able to get them to commit and do not want the casual relationships they seem to be into.
So Im feeling a bit screwed up
