Still can't get out of this mother f**kin rut after two years!

[Breadstick2000]

Yes I have been out trying with women for two years, I hardly come on here cos I have better things to do.

Now I have come a long way, when I first started DOING SOMETHING for myself, I'm still always down and very confused all the time. I just cannot make relationships with people and don't feel much sense of reality.

All this self-dought thinking crap I just try to forget about it. I have had a very eventful and tragic past, its not until recently I've been feeling more... happy!

But u know what, I lost contact with a lot of people in the past few months, I live out in the middle of no where, with bugger all chance of meeting a girl. Just to talk to and get to know some ladies, cos after all this time somethin still don't feel right, am not nervous at all. It just feels orquid and unnatrual. (im tryin to keep this down to earth.)

This whole thing has gone too far, I still am a lonley basterd and I try my best I can each day.

This ain't a moan, or some IM NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER AFC REJECTS, AM WORSE!!!!!

I just want to deal and click with people as easy as flushin the loo.

I was practically in tears the other week, cos my older bros let his mate stay over, this so called mate of his happened to bring a very nice girl back. The fella was shaggin her like a duracell bunny all night, I couldn't get any sleep from the noise.

Yes I havn't had no g/f before, or even known a girl around my age as a potention freind.

Should I emagrate or somethin and change my name???

I'm stuck in a family business, which I have got way too much responsiblity and its impossible for me to leave.

HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

Breadstick
------------

 

[davelmn2003]

Perhaps you can try out online dating as ONE among many methods, as a supplement.

Ask your brother how he gets girls. Seems like he's got game. Better yet, ask him to introduce you to girls!

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by davelmn2003
Perhaps you can try out online dating as ONE among many methods, as a supplement.

Ask your brother how he gets girls. Seems like he's got game. Better yet, ask him to introduce you to girls!

YEa definitley!

thats what friends and family is there for

to help u out

though not all of em fill the role

sounds like u read all this stuff and never really applied it?

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

I met three nice girls online and banged them all. AIM is a fine forum for brainwashing them.

 

[Mizer]

Man, I never really considered the online DJing but you guys keep talking about and now I am curious. I always wondered if the truly nice ladies get into online dating. Why would they?



Mizer

 

[TheDoppler]

Originally posted by Mizer
Man, I never really considered the online DJing but you guys keep talking about and now I am curious. I always wondered if the truly nice ladies get into online dating. Why would they?



Mizer

(Cracking Knuckles)...here we go....

If you're looking for the truly nice ladies I assume from the way you proposed it that you mean the full package of having the looks to go with who they are. Getting your hopes up about looks might be too much to ask for, just be happy with what you find if you're able.

But even someone looking like a supermodel will be attracted to online dating. I've met some real scorching hot women that make you thank the lord you're a man...so they're out there, but being too fussy will give you a bad reputation since women do talk and after a bad encounter, if you met them in a forum they're going to flame you in public and you'll be sunk under that name in that forum. That's my word of warning since I've seen it happen to guys left and right on the other forum where I'm an author.

What attracts women to online dating is that they can relax, knowing that you're not going to suddenly try to jump them, and the moment they feel uncomfortable all they have to do is log off...so it's easier for them to handle awkward situations than if you're both sitting beside each other somewhere. So they're more confident online even if they're shy as hell in real life (guilty of that here). Many women will take to adopting an alter-ego online though since they'll feel free to be more adventurous...so you might be seeing their ideal self.

But the good thing about online dating is that you get to get a good feel for who they are even between the lines...so you can spot warning signs in them, find how compatible you both are, and things like that. They do the same to you and all from the comforts of their computer chair...no pressure for sex or a goodnight kiss.

If they want to swap pictures during the first few minutes then you know looks are their true basis for sizing you up and that they have shallow tendencies or are worried they might be wasting their time on someone they don't find physically attractive. So have a good pic handy of yourself that will visually tell her what you hope she's looking for. But if you have to keep pressing her for a pic (which you shouldn't do anyways) then it means she's very self-conscious about her looks and you'd better be ready to compliment her or else it will be a quick goodbye. Even if you don't find her picture flattering or attractive, be nice and don't "suddenly have to go" and leave her because you wouldn't like that on you and you never know when it will come back to bite you in the a$$.

Also, sometimes the most beautiful women look REALLY bad on film. A few years ago I had an LTR with a woman who had pitiful pictures that made her look old and unattractive, but something in her eyes totally excited me. I hung in there and when we met, oh wow...jackpot. She was a 5 on paper but at least a 9 in person. All the photos we took together, she looked like a different person from picture to picture and always a 4 or 5. So don't get too judgemental about her pic...

That should start you off at least,
Rich

 

[matius]

Yes I have been out trying with women for two years, I hardly come on here cos I have better things to do.

I'm still always down and very confused all the time.

This ain't a moan, or some IM NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER AFC REJECTS, AM WORSE!!!!!

Should I emagrate or somethin and change my name???

I'm stuck in a family business, which I have got way too much responsiblity and its impossible for me to leave.

I know some of this is just how you're feeling now, and you're half joking...but I can see and guarantee that these feelings are attached to your shoulder like a big old chip. It's attitude. I KNOW EXACTLY what you're saying about not being able to connect, or the truths you're seeing are thin...FOR SURE. But you have to change your attitude by cultivating positive vibes.

You produce negative vibes and I can see it through type. You stuck in a situation...whatever, do something about it and make steps to change it. That will make you more positive in the meantime. How do you expect to find a girl if you haven't yet come to terms with your path <and disposition on that path>? You have to figure out what you want, build your mental strength, next your physical and then step correctly.

 

[Mizer]

Thanks, Doppler. That is definitely a good chunk of info to start off with. I appreciate it.


Mizer

 

[Umbra]

Hey Breadstick, I know it feels hopeless, man. You probably don't even want to hear any advice right now, so I won't write anything long, boring, repetitive, or useless. You've probably read the same things many times by now anyway.

I'll boil it all down to one skill that might help out in your particular situation more than any other: Observation.

Observe other people. Watch the people who interact fluidly and naturally with others. Study what they say, how they gesture, how they smile, how they speak, their inflections, their phrases, everything. Then imitate in another situation and see how well you do. Measure your success and modify your behavior to get increasingly better results. Try striking up conversations with people who don't know you, so they don't have preconceived patterns of response behavior.

 

[es_mer8]

You're doing something wrong.

All this self-dought thinking crap I just try to forget about it. I have had a very eventful and tragic past, its not until recently I've been feeling more... happy!

Good. Never doubt yourself because whats going to happen its a surefire way to make you feel bad. Recently I've been DJing like its on sale for $19.95 and sometimes I get rejected by 8s, 9s, and 10s. However on Saturday, I'm going to on a date with this great 8 that I'm sure I'll have fun. I have doubts that DJing itself is useless but the confidence and forwardness is the key but I shouldn't tamper with success.

I live out in the middle of no where, with bugger all chance of meeting a girl

Go somewhere with people. Not move but go to a club or something. I refuse to believe that you have absolutely no time that you can't go to a club for just one night a week or every other week. It sounds to me that you're not making a good attempt here.

This whole thing has gone too far, I still am a lonley basterd and I try my best I can each day.

A week ago or so there was a poll that asked how many times people did the deed. A large majority said they were still virgins. The thing is the DJ Bible, the forum, etc. is just a way to help you out. Are there absolutely no girls/women around that you can't just even talk to? Its hard for me to swallow your story when it seems like you do indeed have opportunities but you choose to not take them. But back to the point...given the large amount of virgins here, a lot of them have probably been DJing for months into years and find no luck. The reason is that they're just not confident or bold enough to go anywhere.

Its easy as hell to read 'say hi to every girl that walks by' as opposed to doing it...at first. The first few times of doing anything will be the hardest. Its how life is. The first date you'll have will never really be amazing. The first time you stick your **** in a girl will probably not be all that great. However it all depends on effort. If you read and become confident but never actually putting it to use, you will be lonely. Girls cannot smell confidence. You have to show your confidence and charisma to get the ladies.

Should I emagrate or somethin and change my name???

Uhh...no, you just need to get a social life. What is your family business anyway and why must it take up all your free time? I'm not saying leave but damn, there are 168 hours a week. Assume you get 8 hours of sleep and go to school for 7 hours a day, thats still 63 hours a week that is spent not doing the essentials. Do you work 60 hours a week? Even if you work 40 (too long IMO; I went down that route of working constantly and I think that 25 hours a week is a good amount) thats still 23 hours a week in which you can spend going somewhere to socialize.

 

[Breadstick2000]

I work a 50 hour week. The only time I get to go out is at weekends cos I'm too tierd in the week.

It's not very oftern I go clubbing cos it takes over an hour to get to my nearest town. I went clubbing the other night, I really got ready for it and was in a great mood before I went. But as usual, everythin was a bit pear shaped. Most girls are over 20 and almost every girl I talked to walked off in less that a minute. I didn't really get noticed at all much. I can't beleive how arragent most girls are.

I have only manged to pull once, this was months ago. I was pi$$ed and she was. To make things worse the number she gave me didn't exist when I tried calling.

It shouldn't be that hard should it?

A lot of the time you see I nice girl and talk to her, then quickly some tall fella lookin like Brad Pit will come along and she lights up.

Before someone comes up with the idea, Im not gonna go for a big mamma.

I do a lot of things apart from climbing up a steep hill to get a girl and falling back down again. I've been a very good boxer for four years, but Im gettin board of that, so I've now taken up kick boxing. I'm also into DJing alot (with music.).

I hate to be lettin you lot down, I am trying the best I posibally can. But nothing is working.

Thanks.


Breadstick
-------------

 

[es_mer8]

Man that sucks for you. Is this another small town club. If so, try to set some time aside for to go to a decent one. Or there just may be the possibility that you can't go anywhere until you move later in your life to a more populated city or something.

 

[matius]

I'm also into DJing alot (with music.).

What type of music? Techno! What DJ can't get slutz!? Keep your head up, what do you expect from us if you tell us you have no opportunities to come around girls? You have to put yourself out there somehow...

 

[Breadstick2000]

Its a pretty large club, and theres a lot of em. Theres just no decent girls that go in them. If I go further, that means I would have to stay for the weekend, but even if I did meet a girl, its way too far to travel.

I had the day off work today for a driving test, so I went into town for the afternoon. As usual, its not accepted in my area to approach a girl in the daytime. They look at you strangley and not say a word.

I should just accept it and not bother.