Before I even start I would like to thank H4 from masF for introducing this whole idea of "states" to me. (He calls it *State Leading* but its the same thing). Sometimes when you are learning, all it takes one person's perspective to make everything *click* for you.
What are the States of Seduction? First off, and maybe most importantly, they are her States. The states of mind that she goes thru when you are attempting to seduce her.
The States of Seduction are:
1. Initial
2. Interest
3. Attraction
4. Rapport
5. Sexual
Why does this idea work? Well we've all read about generating Interest, creating Attraction, building Rapport, and arousing Sexual feelings. Up until now I believed most of these things to be pretty much the same thing. However with this States of Seduction idea I've learned that each of these things is a separate building block. Like building a house. You start with a foundation, then the floor, then the walls. You can't start with the roof!
This idea is based on the fact that you can't create Attraction without first having Interest. You can't have Rapport (a connection) without first having Attraction. Finally you can't have Sex without first having Rapport.
How does it work? It is your job as a DJ to determine which State she is in and then *Lead* her through the following States. These seduction sites are goldmines of information on how to do this! We talk about Attraction, Interest, Rapport, and Sexual Arousal everyday and there are thousands of posts on how to create each of these feelings/states in women. The beauty of the States of Seduction idea is that you know exactly what you have to do at all times based on which state she is in. It simplifies the seduction process.
Let's talk a little bit more about these States and things you have to watch out for.
Initial State: This is how she is feeling before you approach her. Is she having a good day or bad day? What is her mood? We have no control over this state. This is why I believe many seduction attempts fail. The 3 second rule may be to blame. Without any indication of what mood she's in we approach and wonder why she was such a b*tch. If you take a minute, watch her in her surroundings. Is she smiling and laughing with other people? Or is she shy or grouchy? It is up to you to adjust your approach accordingly. When approaching a grouch you might say "Man! Am I ever having a rough day." And she'll probably be more receptive ("ME TOO!") to that than other approaches.
Interest State As soon as you approach you are trying to get her into this state. The *opener* you use is the most important thing. When choosing an opener try and use something that is going to make her think you are interesting. If the seduction ends right there after your opener, you want her to walk away thinking "Wow, not everyday I get asked that!"
There are thousands of openers posted everyday. My new favorites are:
1. "Excuse me, but I just have to ask you something...." and I let it hang there until she says "okay" or "what". Then I choose something from the environment. eg. Is this restaurant any good? How is that cheesecake? Are you from around here I'm lost? Have you seen a man wearing yellow pants? etc.
2. "Excuse me but I need a quick opinion from an informed female" Once again let it hang before you continue and then. Do these shoes work for me? Do you think David Bowie is sexy? Or anything else a female could answer. Then listen and try and use C+F on her response. "Really you think he's sexy? He's old!!! So you find old men sexy?" *another canned opener from masF.
Once you get her involved a unique, interesting conversation you've achieved the Interest State. Move forward.
Attraction State What can I say about creating Attraction that hasn't already been said. Do your homework. Smooth her over with your confidence, charisma, C+F, kino, storytelling, push-pull tactics, etc.
Rapport State This one is a bit more involved. Do a search on building Rapport and there are alot of people using that term but not many good desriptions of how to achieve it. Once again it is creating a feeling of connection and trust. A feeling of one-ness. The idea is pick her brain thru conversation and learn how she feels about certain things and then relate those same things back to her with your own experiences. It's not just asking QUESTIONS to find out her values and feelings. You make STATEMENTS about your own feelings and values and draw her opinions out too. Its a back and forth sharing.
Its the toughest thing to teach because it deals with personal experiences/feelings and personal communication skills. You start off light and then move to deeper topics. Deeper feelings. You know when its working because she's telling you things that you normally wouldn't tell just anyone. Why? Because you've gained her trust, made a connection, and built rapport!
You start with Fluff Rapport. eg. She tells you she spent last year travelling. You follow with "I've done some travelling myself."
Then you move to Wide Rapport. eg. She's been to Central America. You have too! So you discuss your travels and what you liked about it, and how you felt there, which places you went, what you've learned, etc.
Then there's Deep Rapport. eg. She tells you how while travelling she felt so much freedom, exhilaration, and so alive! And you mirror those feelings back to her with your experiences and feelings.
The topics could be anything. Work, school, sports, hobbies, travel, family, friendships, relationships, love, or even sex. Etc. etc.
You achieve a feeling of oneness by relating your experiences and feelings about these things to hers.
As the rapport building process moves along, you incorporate the progression of your kino, body language, how close you are sitting, eye contact, etc. to fit with the connection you've built. So at a high point, where you are relating your feelings to each other. At one of those excited "Me too!" points you might move a little closer to her, or escalate your kino.
Don't go too far with Rapport building though. You can end up in the friendzone by talking too much. You must try and get to the Sexual State once you've determined that you've made a connection. You'll have to try and keep the conversation light here too inorder to do that. Unless of course you are a very smooth and have managed to get her involved in some Deep sexual rapport
Sexual State Senor Finger's idea of Triangular gazing (look at her eyes, her lips, her neck) is great for this. Your kino and body language is important too. Read the Gunwitch Method or Senor Finger's Mmm....Sensuality . I can't explain it any better than that.
So in summary you can see that nothing is really new here. We're using the basic techniques we all learn right here. What IS new is the addition of structure to the Seduction attempt. This was my stumbling block. I've been doing all these things in the past but in more of a freestyle way. Now, during a seduction I know exactly where I am at, and exactly what I should be doing next.
Anyways, I hope I've explained this well and its not confusing.
For a real life example of this idea there is a story here
What are the States of Seduction? First off, and maybe most importantly, they are her States. The states of mind that she goes thru when you are attempting to seduce her.
The States of Seduction are:
1. Initial
2. Interest
3. Attraction
4. Rapport
5. Sexual
Why does this idea work? Well we've all read about generating Interest, creating Attraction, building Rapport, and arousing Sexual feelings. Up until now I believed most of these things to be pretty much the same thing. However with this States of Seduction idea I've learned that each of these things is a separate building block. Like building a house. You start with a foundation, then the floor, then the walls. You can't start with the roof!
This idea is based on the fact that you can't create Attraction without first having Interest. You can't have Rapport (a connection) without first having Attraction. Finally you can't have Sex without first having Rapport.
How does it work? It is your job as a DJ to determine which State she is in and then *Lead* her through the following States. These seduction sites are goldmines of information on how to do this! We talk about Attraction, Interest, Rapport, and Sexual Arousal everyday and there are thousands of posts on how to create each of these feelings/states in women. The beauty of the States of Seduction idea is that you know exactly what you have to do at all times based on which state she is in. It simplifies the seduction process.
Let's talk a little bit more about these States and things you have to watch out for.
Initial State: This is how she is feeling before you approach her. Is she having a good day or bad day? What is her mood? We have no control over this state. This is why I believe many seduction attempts fail. The 3 second rule may be to blame. Without any indication of what mood she's in we approach and wonder why she was such a b*tch. If you take a minute, watch her in her surroundings. Is she smiling and laughing with other people? Or is she shy or grouchy? It is up to you to adjust your approach accordingly. When approaching a grouch you might say "Man! Am I ever having a rough day." And she'll probably be more receptive ("ME TOO!") to that than other approaches.
Interest State As soon as you approach you are trying to get her into this state. The *opener* you use is the most important thing. When choosing an opener try and use something that is going to make her think you are interesting. If the seduction ends right there after your opener, you want her to walk away thinking "Wow, not everyday I get asked that!"
There are thousands of openers posted everyday. My new favorites are:
1. "Excuse me, but I just have to ask you something...." and I let it hang there until she says "okay" or "what". Then I choose something from the environment. eg. Is this restaurant any good? How is that cheesecake? Are you from around here I'm lost? Have you seen a man wearing yellow pants? etc.
2. "Excuse me but I need a quick opinion from an informed female" Once again let it hang before you continue and then. Do these shoes work for me? Do you think David Bowie is sexy? Or anything else a female could answer. Then listen and try and use C+F on her response. "Really you think he's sexy? He's old!!! So you find old men sexy?" *another canned opener from masF.
Once you get her involved a unique, interesting conversation you've achieved the Interest State. Move forward.
Attraction State What can I say about creating Attraction that hasn't already been said. Do your homework
. Smooth her over with your confidence, charisma, C+F, kino, storytelling, push-pull tactics, etc. Rapport State This one is a bit more involved. Do a search on building Rapport and there are alot of people using that term but not many good desriptions of how to achieve it. Once again it is creating a feeling of connection and trust. A feeling of one-ness. The idea is pick her brain thru conversation and learn how she feels about certain things and then relate those same things back to her with your own experiences. It's not just asking QUESTIONS to find out her values and feelings. You make STATEMENTS about your own feelings and values and draw her opinions out too. Its a back and forth sharing.
Its the toughest thing to teach because it deals with personal experiences/feelings and personal communication skills. You start off light and then move to deeper topics. Deeper feelings. You know when its working because she's telling you things that you normally wouldn't tell just anyone. Why? Because you've gained her trust, made a connection, and built rapport!
You start with Fluff Rapport. eg. She tells you she spent last year travelling. You follow with "I've done some travelling myself."
Then you move to Wide Rapport. eg. She's been to Central America. You have too! So you discuss your travels and what you liked about it, and how you felt there, which places you went, what you've learned, etc.
Then there's Deep Rapport. eg. She tells you how while travelling she felt so much freedom, exhilaration, and so alive! And you mirror those feelings back to her with your experiences and feelings.
The topics could be anything. Work, school, sports, hobbies, travel, family, friendships, relationships, love, or even sex. Etc. etc.
You achieve a feeling of oneness by relating your experiences and feelings about these things to hers.
As the rapport building process moves along, you incorporate the progression of your kino, body language, how close you are sitting, eye contact, etc. to fit with the connection you've built. So at a high point, where you are relating your feelings to each other. At one of those excited "Me too!" points you might move a little closer to her, or escalate your kino.
Don't go too far with Rapport building though. You can end up in the friendzone by talking too much. You must try and get to the Sexual State once you've determined that you've made a connection. You'll have to try and keep the conversation light here too inorder to do that. Unless of course you are a very smooth and have managed to get her involved in some Deep sexual rapport
Sexual State Senor Finger's idea of Triangular gazing (look at her eyes, her lips, her neck) is great for this. Your kino and body language is important too. Read the Gunwitch Method or Senor Finger's Mmm....Sensuality . I can't explain it any better than that.
So in summary you can see that nothing is really new here. We're using the basic techniques we all learn right here. What IS new is the addition of structure to the Seduction attempt. This was my stumbling block. I've been doing all these things in the past but in more of a freestyle way. Now, during a seduction I know exactly where I am at, and exactly what I should be doing next.
Anyways, I hope I've explained this well and its not confusing.
For a real life example of this idea there is a story here
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