Starting to see some distance, or it could just be my thinking

[Fzatf]

Instead of straight dumping her, wouldn't it make sense to keep her as a plate for sex while dating new girls?

 

[lamath]

Instead of straight dumping her, wouldn't it make sense to keep her as a plate for sex while dating new girls?

idk man if feelings get in the way its much worst
Depends on the Man he knows what he can handle

 

[marmel75]

Maybe she was seeing someone else for a bit and it didn’t workout like she thought it may. Or decided you were the better catch. Would explain the SUDDEN temperature change

But if this is the case then he still is just a temporary placeholder until she finds someone else. How many times is he going to tolerate the same type of behavior?

 

[lamath]

But if this is the case then he still is just a temporary placeholder until she finds someone else. How many times is he going to tolerate the same type of behavior?

I agree on this
This is just giving her more power and security, and giving her the go ahead and leave when she finds some1 better.

Doing this is empowering womens hypergamy imo

 

[lamath]

Yeah my best GF that was actually incapable of monogamy/loyalty is unicorn level compared to the average woman I date now. I've only dated two women I would consider quality marriage material.

The red pill hits hard, enough to make a man stop trying

 

[sazc]

In this day and age of #metoo if her project mentor is propositioning her, she should be able to go over him and discreetly get a new mentor. The fact that she hasn't replaced him tells me she likes the attention.

I'm with the other posters - this is causing you constant drama and chaos. It's time to fade.

 

[lamath]

In this day and age of #metoo if her project mentor is propositioning her, she should be able to go over him and discreetly get a new mentor. The fact that she hasn't replaced him tells me she likes the attention.

I'm with the other posters - this is causing you constant drama and chaos. It's time to fade.

I agree she likes the attention
Soon its going to be a big problem imo

 

[guru1000]

Here's what my 3ish week woman sent last night. She's always trying to find ways to spend time with me. She's coming up to my work (40 mins drive for her) to meet me for lunch today because I told her I can't see her this weekend. Even when I told her I'd have to let her know if I'm free for lunch today she's still baking banana bread. That's LTR material.

Exactly, here is my usual three weeks:

http://s682.photobucket.com/user/guru1000/media/IMG_6799b_zpsqkv6wg3l.jpg.html?sort=2&o=2

Notice all the assumptions she makes though I never verbalized them (though she is right):

"I cannot love her" (how did love so subtly get introduced here after three dates??)
"She is just another trophy notch for me"
"I only care to win, but not win her"

LOL.

Love this game.

 

[RickTheToad]

Pretty sure it's done. She texts me asking for a link to something she was getting for her home. I ordered one for myself, but she asked if I could order one for her as well. She would give me the money for it, which she's done before. I said no problem. It's not come in yet, so I guess she wanted to order it herself, so I sent her the link, but then she asked you ordered one for me as well. Right? I was drowsy again since I had to take two pain killers along with the flomax and cipro this morning so I fell asleep. I woke up three hours later and received the following texts:

How are you feeling?

You seem distant? Did I do something wrong? If I upset you again, you need to let me know.

I just replied back as What?

That was seven hours ago. I think we're done. Taking a break from dating. Just not worth the BS right now.

Oh, as expected, she never came by. I was tempted to text you know, We've seen each other for 15 minutes or so over the last week (she did bring me breakfast). Yet, you want to fly to see you mentor, and I live 10 minutes from you. You don't see something screwed up with that? I didn't but really wanted to.

 

[Chi Town]

Pretty sure it's done. She texts me asking for a link to something she was getting for her home. I ordered one for myself, but she asked if I could order one for her as well. She would give me the money for it, which she's done before. I said no problem. It's not come in yet, so I guess she wanted to order it herself, so I sent her the link, but then she asked you ordered one for me as well. Right? I was drowsy again since I had to take two pain killers along with the flomax and cipro this morning so I fell asleep. I woke up three hours later and received the following texts:

How are you feeling?

You seem distant? Did I do something wrong? If I upset you again, you need to let me know.

I just replied back as What?

That was seven hours ago. I think we're done. Taking a break from dating. Just not worth the BS right now.

Oh, as expected, she never came by. I was tempted to text you know, We've seen each other for 15 minutes or so over the last week (she did bring me breakfast). Yet, you want to fly to see you mentor, and I live 10 minutes from you. You don't see something screwed up with that? I didn't but really wanted to.

Be strong brother, be strong.....

Do what you gotta do

 

[RickTheToad]

Be strong brother, be strong.....

Do what you gotta do

I've been re-reading some books as I am in recovery and more than one of them (and many on this forum) say give a woman who's disrespecting you the gift of silence.. That's what I am doing. I love how, I, the one's who's been to the ER twice and three different doctors over the last two weeks is the bad guy. I just have no understanding of this. How anyone can think spending 15 mins with me a few days ago and an hour the week prior (I dropped off something to her on the way to where I was going) is caring on any level. So, we're not playing the game of silence. Still in shock.

 

[sazc]

Man... Your sick and she's a plate, but you're really invested in this

 

[flowtheory]

I've been re-reading some books as I am in recovery and more than one of them (and many on this forum) say give a woman who's disrespecting you the gift of silence.. That's what I am doing. I love how, I, the one's who's been to the ER twice and three different doctors over the last two weeks is the bad guy. I just have no understanding of this. How anyone can think spending 15 mins with me a few days ago and an hour the week prior (I dropped off something to her on the way to where I was going) is caring on any level. So, we're not playing the game of silence. Still in shock.

Form your history on here that I’ve watched, it seems like you care more than the woman usually.
Do you think you have a strong frame or agree with what I stated?

 

[RickTheToad]

Man... Your sick and she's a plate, but you're really invested in this

No going to lie, it does smart a little. Just hit all at the same time. Shock and awe.

Form your history on here that I’ve watched, it seems like you care more than the woman usually.
Do you think you have a strong frame or agree with what I stated?

My frame is solid, but my outlook isn't the best. I guess I am tired of going through the same thing every 3 months. It gets tiresome. Do I care about the ladies I am having relations with? Yes, I am not a robot. Do I care less and less when they act like this and then I walk? Yes. Do I cry or reach out to them asking why and start an argument? No. I just accept it and move on. But yes, it still smarts and it seems like a perfect storm right now. Just amazed how cold it feels to hit all at once.

 

[flowtheory]

No going to lie, it does smart a little. Just hit all at the same time. Shock and awe.



My frame is solid, but my outlook isn't the best. I guess I am tired of going through the same thing every 3 months. It gets tiresome. Do I care about the ladies I am having relations with? Yes, I am not a robot. Do I care less and less when they act like this and then I walk? Yes. Do I cry or reach out to them asking why and start an argument? No. I just accept it and move on. But yes, it still smarts and it seems like a perfect storm right now. Just amazed how cold it feels to hit all at once.

So you see the flags early on. But you choose to stick with the lady. How come? Do you view yourself as a prize?

 

[RickTheToad]

This is something we don't talk about enough on here. It's supposed to get easier with each breakup and at some level its easier emotionally, but at the same time there's this insidious compounding effect over time that actually makes things worse existentially. Important to fight this feeling of scarcity and protect the heart by being pickier and avoiding this compounding effect.

Yes. I am sure it effects both genders. It prob. prevents some from pair bonding again. I know you cannot force a lady to want you, so I just walk away in silence. No reason to beat a dead horse.

So you see the flags early on. But you choose to stick with the lady. How come? Do you view yourself as a prize?

The picking her up actually improved and more than not she came to me after our little talk about it. As for the going out, we only went out a few times and it wasn't that much; so I didn't care. I guess I thought and enjoyed the fact that she was so close, we'd be able to see more of each other over time. Yet, for the last two weeks, we've actually seen less of each other. I had a strange feeling in my stomach about her a couple of weeks ago, so that was one of the reasons why I drove over to drop the stuff she asked me to get off. I wanted to get reimbursed; which she did with no issues. Again, I was just a bit taken back that when I was down she didn't stop by and her actions.

Am I a prize? Yes and no. I have some things in my past that lower my value medical wise, and I come from a broken home. So, yes, I feel that lowers my value. I've been on my own for so long, I am just used to relying on myself for everything. Again, I thought it may be different this time, but I guess I was wrong.

 

[Chi Town]

My frame is solid, but my outlook isn't the best. I guess I am tired of going through the same thing every 3 months. It gets tiresome.

If things like this are happening all the time then it's you, not the women.

I promise your frame and behavior with the women in your life are causing these things to contiunessly happen.

 

[RickTheToad]

If things like this are happening all the time then it's you, not the women.

I promise your frame and behavior with the women in your life are causing these things to contiunessly happen.

Anything is possible

 

[Chi Town]

Anything is possible

You need to get a hold of it so this won't keep continuing

 

[lamath]

If things like this are happening all the time then it's you, not the women.

I promise your frame and behavior with the women in your life are causing these things to contiunessly happen.

Dont forget that with age women become more and more jaded, that dont help for sure.