Stalker (probably) caught me masturbating (rant)

blackomen

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OK, I don't know where to begin but I've basically never been caught before in my life (not even by parents.)

I live in this apartment with blinds that don't close completely 100% but sometimes leave very tiny slits. (I still don't know if they were actually able to see me through the slits.) Btw, I never bothered to get new blinds or buy a curtain over it.

So I put in some porn and started to indulge in it.. several minutes into it, I hear a voice from the window calling my name. I recognized it - it was a girl that I had suspected had a crush on me for a long time although I never really bothered to make a move on her in favor of other better looking girls. There was no giggling accompanying the voice and it sounded neutral but slightly upbeat. I panicked, then got dressed and went outside 5 minutes later.. no sign of anyone.

This all happened past midnight.. I really don't look forward to running into her the next time.

It's possible that this could have been going on for quite some time (her stalking me through the blinds) without my knowledge..

*ends rant*

Sorry guys, I just had to vent this late at night.
 

KarmaSutra

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Are you ashamed you got caught running a batch? Don't be. If she's stalking you she's the one who's fvcking weird and needs to be looked at as a suspect.

You did it, live with it. Move on.
 

wolf116

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Next time I see her I would say

You:Hey Sally was that you calling out my name last night?
Her: haha yes
You: I hate you, I was batting over the best porn and you made me lose my boner.
 

blackomen

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KarmaSutra said:
Are you ashamed you got caught running a batch? Don't be. If she's stalking you she's the one who's fvcking weird and needs to be looked at as a suspect.

You did it, live with it. Move on.
Hehe.. it's kinda funny now that I look back on it. Plus, I probably won't give a sh!t if it were some random stranger.. just gonna be quite awkward next time I see her..
 

Mr. Wolf

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She's ugly right? That means she masturbates more often that a pretty chick.

Do that mystery thing on her. Tell her, did you know that 93% of girls masturbate in the shower?
No
The othere 7% sing
Oh yea?
And do you know what they sing?
No, what?
Oh you must be one of the girls that masturbates then.


Then fvck her if she's easy.
 

kdnash82

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I know you're probably feeling a little un easy.... but this is funny as hell!!

I think of masturbation as another part of life. You should also. The fact that she saw you makes her a pervert.
 

navyseal2101

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Thats was hilarious, but I think most women know that guys tend to do that, also it sounds like she was embarrassed so I guess use that.
 

DavenJuan

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i use to be embarrassed,

my girl was on her rag once and i straight up told her that i had to go home and take care of business...joked about it, she didnt make a big deal abuot it either, embrace it
 

Ken785

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blackomen said:
OK, I don't know where to begin but I've basically never been caught before in my life (not even by parents.)

I live in this apartment with blinds that don't close completely 100% but sometimes leave very tiny slits. (I still don't know if they were actually able to see me through the slits.) Btw, I never bothered to get new blinds or buy a curtain over it.

So I put in some porn and started to indulge in it.. several minutes into it, I hear a voice from the window calling my name. I recognized it - it was a girl that I had suspected had a crush on me for a long time although I never really bothered to make a move on her in favor of other better looking girls. There was no giggling accompanying the voice and it sounded neutral but slightly upbeat. I panicked, then got dressed and went outside 5 minutes later.. no sign of anyone.

This all happened past midnight.. I really don't look forward to running into her the next time.

It's possible that this could have been going on for quite some time (her stalking me through the blinds) without my knowledge..

*ends rant*

Sorry guys, I just had to vent this late at night.
Let me get this straight....so you're inside masturbating, you've got a girl outside that is so obsessed with you shes basically stalking you outside your window...you know its her...and you didn't tell her to come in and help you out??? Man!! what an idiot!! Your jacking off thinking about pvssy...its like G0d dropping pvssy from the sky for you and you're not going to take it?!? Man...
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Potbelly

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Just Reading The Title Got Me Laughing Hahahaha
 

Play the Game

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That sounds embarrassing.... maybe she got so turned on she had to run home and indulge a bit herself. haha

Good luck next time you see her.
 

joekerr31

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as long as you werent trying to suck your own d*ck you've got nothing to be embarassed about.
 

STR8UP

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Women might not touch themselves as much as men do, but they do it too. That would be pretty embarrassing though!
 

magnet7

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STR8UP said:
Women might not touch themselves as much as men do, but they do it too. That would be pretty embarrassing though!
Girls touch themselves MORE. I know girls who use vibrators while at work.
Mr. Wolf said:
She's ugly right? That means she masturbates more often that a pretty chick.
Not really, pretty chicks masturbate just as much.
 

killbill

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if she does that again and you cant find her i would call the cops.
 

spesmilitis

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well, its not like she can tell anyone

stalker: so I was looking through blackomen's windows, and he was totally masterbaiting,
friend: wait, why were you looking through his windows?
stalker: uhhh
 

ValleyDJing

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California
Potbelly said:
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What he said.
 
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