Stalker as parameter of interest level
I had this stalker. Not dangerous. Just lame and sort of funny. But it was full on stalking, nonetheless.
Here was our entire relationship: A maid from a few floors down in my office building brought me this business card with a little color copied picture of this girl attached. Maid says I should call this girl, who apparently has seen me around the building and developed a crush - so I say, what the hell. I call her. She seems OK, so agree to meet her for a five minute walk to the subway after work and get some coffee at the station. But She was really clingly and lame and has bad skin (which was not clear in the picture). So at the station I said I had to take off and couldn’t do coffee.
Apparently that was all the ammo she needed for an all out stalking. Some hilights:
- Repeated calls, sometimes 10 in a row (I counted), after the first one, I would hang up as soon as I heard her voice.
-When I wouldn’t meet her for coffee a few weeks later, she sent her friend to sit with me at lunch and get info. The friend was hot so I overtly hit on the friend. This did not dissuade the stalker.
- One time I was bored at work when she called, so I did talk to her, and forced stalker to analyze my behaviour to her (ignoring her, hanging up on her) versus some guy in her office who was after her, and how she kept after me and dissed the other guy, and how it was illogical that she would reward my lack of concern for her with more attention, while giving the attentive guy in her office the short shrift
- She waited outside of the building a few times for me to come out and then followed me, trying to get me to talk to her. I just kept laughing and saying ‘get lost.’
Why did I post this? Because the stalker is the far right parameter of interest level. She is the woman who actually has ABOVE 100% interest level in you. I’d say about 110%. (I judge 100% as still denoting a potentially healthy relationship.) The stalker is good because she puts in perspective the lengths that a women will take if she has high interest level. So any time some girl gives me some nonsense about she’s too busy, or she had this or that to do instead of seeing me, I just think of the stalker. Stalker was NEVER too busy. Work, friends, family all took a back seat to her main pursuit. ME. We don’t want exactly that, of course, from our girlfriends, cause we want them to add to the relationship too, not just parasitically feed off of it. But its really a matter of degree. You want to induce some of those stalking-like elements in your prospect, but you want them watered down quite a bit. You want her to lose a bit of herself in her pursuit of you, just not all of herself.
So every time you hear some excuse that sounds fishy to you from a woman, put it in perspective of the stalker. May your prospect is still a little too close to the far left parameter (doesn’t give a sh-t about you) and not close enough to the far right parameter, the stalker.
I had this stalker. Not dangerous. Just lame and sort of funny. But it was full on stalking, nonetheless.
Here was our entire relationship: A maid from a few floors down in my office building brought me this business card with a little color copied picture of this girl attached. Maid says I should call this girl, who apparently has seen me around the building and developed a crush - so I say, what the hell. I call her. She seems OK, so agree to meet her for a five minute walk to the subway after work and get some coffee at the station. But She was really clingly and lame and has bad skin (which was not clear in the picture). So at the station I said I had to take off and couldn’t do coffee.
Apparently that was all the ammo she needed for an all out stalking. Some hilights:
- Repeated calls, sometimes 10 in a row (I counted), after the first one, I would hang up as soon as I heard her voice.
-When I wouldn’t meet her for coffee a few weeks later, she sent her friend to sit with me at lunch and get info. The friend was hot so I overtly hit on the friend. This did not dissuade the stalker.
- One time I was bored at work when she called, so I did talk to her, and forced stalker to analyze my behaviour to her (ignoring her, hanging up on her) versus some guy in her office who was after her, and how she kept after me and dissed the other guy, and how it was illogical that she would reward my lack of concern for her with more attention, while giving the attentive guy in her office the short shrift
- She waited outside of the building a few times for me to come out and then followed me, trying to get me to talk to her. I just kept laughing and saying ‘get lost.’
Why did I post this? Because the stalker is the far right parameter of interest level. She is the woman who actually has ABOVE 100% interest level in you. I’d say about 110%. (I judge 100% as still denoting a potentially healthy relationship.) The stalker is good because she puts in perspective the lengths that a women will take if she has high interest level. So any time some girl gives me some nonsense about she’s too busy, or she had this or that to do instead of seeing me, I just think of the stalker. Stalker was NEVER too busy. Work, friends, family all took a back seat to her main pursuit. ME. We don’t want exactly that, of course, from our girlfriends, cause we want them to add to the relationship too, not just parasitically feed off of it. But its really a matter of degree. You want to induce some of those stalking-like elements in your prospect, but you want them watered down quite a bit. You want her to lose a bit of herself in her pursuit of you, just not all of herself.
So every time you hear some excuse that sounds fishy to you from a woman, put it in perspective of the stalker. May your prospect is still a little too close to the far left parameter (doesn’t give a sh-t about you) and not close enough to the far right parameter, the stalker.