Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This, my latest brain eruption, is all over the map, but perhaps there is something in here that might be of value to some.
Lately I've been reflecting on learning game and coming to realize on a gut level that learning game turns your world into a giant laboratory in which you're free to experiment and "fail" to your heart's content. Each so-called "failure" is nothing more than a calibration of your technique. We should encourage ourselves to go out there, have fun, and fail like mad till we reach critical mass and we start enjoying some successes and don't care at all about the "failures".
At this point there have been many good posts about embracing failure. Backbreaker, Pook, and your humble host yours truly (among several others) have all broached this subject at length, and have done it well.
Look at it this way. Most of us came here because we were clueless about women. For whatever reason we did not learn how to relate with them and attract them. You CANNOT excel in any endeavor on a consistent basis without experiencing many corrective failures along the way. The baby learning to walk is a case in point, as cliche as it is.
So what am I getting at? Just this: Change your frame from frustration about whare you wish you are into a paradigm of "lab work". You're a scientist searching for a formula that is stable. Such a scientist does not wring his hands and loathe himself when the results he wants are not acheived. No, he simply writes down his observation, makes a SINGLE, SIMPLE change, and puts the test tube over the fire once again. He has absolute certainty that all he has to do is go through all the combinations until he hits on the right one. During the process he learns how to refine his complex combinations intuitively. He finds himself becoming more intuitive in his approach. This happens without thought. It occurs automatically simply by DOING.
This should be FUN, guys. If you are just starting out, that rare success should demonstrate to you that it is possible to get much better. All you need to do is to DO, dispassionately and detached, like the scientist.
When I was learning golf, I could barely get the ball off the tee for years. I would scoop it, toe it, top it, everything but hit is straight. But in every round I would get that one beautiful shot off, and THAT feeling is what kept me coming back. You golfers out there are shouting a big "amen" as you read this. Dwell on the successes. Consider the failures as the very bricks that make up your road to success. The failures are quite literally the rungs of your ladder. Create them and climb them.
Your failures are catapults. They launch you ever higher but you don't realize it because you get caught up in the emotion of it. You care about the outcome, and that twists up your brain.
Life and game are one great big experiment. See that "natural" over there who gets all the women? For whatever reason, life dealt him a good hand. Most likely he had a positive male role model growing up, something most of us here did not have. Get over it. You see that Ethiopian kid sitting in the dirt with flies crawling all over his face? Life dealt YOU a good hand, didn't it? The natural plays his hand. Play yours. You don't have the natural's skills. You don't have the natural's confidence. But what you DO have is the information here at SS that you can gradually put to use.
You are upset because you want to be a natural, a great Don Juan who appeals to women universally. You want it tonight. You are not willing to wait. Therein lies your misery and feeling of hopelessness. You need to understand that you cannot be universally attractive to women (as they can to men), and that you CAN INDEED make yourself attractive to YOUR kind of women, when you approch the challenge incrementally in baby steps.
Go out there and offend some women because you're experimenting (within reason of course). Women are abundant. They're all over the place. Each one is an experiment. Ask yourself "What would happen if...." and then do it. DO NOT be afraid to offend. This is the very stuff of your lab work. Mentally record your results and use your subconscious will use it to make subtle corrections. One of these days (and soon) you will find that a woman will respond positively to something that you were certain would offend her. Don't read this wrong... don't live to offend... Rather, live to EXPERIMENT.
Derive your fun and satisfaction from the DOING, not from the RESULT. The DOING is what brings a man joy regardless of the outcome, for he knows that in each DOING he is changing deep inside without even a single thought.
OK, Poindexter. Get in the lab and get to work. Your mission is to have fun, to relish the excitement of discovery, and the excitement of learning how to detach, how to attain that CERTAINTY that you will start seeing results. You are a pioneer, blazing a new trail for yourself, not for others but for yourself, and that should excite you and propel you into DOING. Experiment, have fun, expect lots of "failure" which is actually the very substance of your success.
Always picture a successful YOU standing on top of a mountain looking down upon the world. That mountain that you built is comprised of many, many failures and a few successes. You are one of the select few who know a monumental secret... that every so-called "failure" propels you closer to success. One day you will see that the things that used to twist you up inside were absolutely meaningless because you viwed them as Personal, Pervasive and Permanent.
Test tubes ready? GO!!!
Lately I've been reflecting on learning game and coming to realize on a gut level that learning game turns your world into a giant laboratory in which you're free to experiment and "fail" to your heart's content. Each so-called "failure" is nothing more than a calibration of your technique. We should encourage ourselves to go out there, have fun, and fail like mad till we reach critical mass and we start enjoying some successes and don't care at all about the "failures".
At this point there have been many good posts about embracing failure. Backbreaker, Pook, and your humble host yours truly (among several others) have all broached this subject at length, and have done it well.
Look at it this way. Most of us came here because we were clueless about women. For whatever reason we did not learn how to relate with them and attract them. You CANNOT excel in any endeavor on a consistent basis without experiencing many corrective failures along the way. The baby learning to walk is a case in point, as cliche as it is.
So what am I getting at? Just this: Change your frame from frustration about whare you wish you are into a paradigm of "lab work". You're a scientist searching for a formula that is stable. Such a scientist does not wring his hands and loathe himself when the results he wants are not acheived. No, he simply writes down his observation, makes a SINGLE, SIMPLE change, and puts the test tube over the fire once again. He has absolute certainty that all he has to do is go through all the combinations until he hits on the right one. During the process he learns how to refine his complex combinations intuitively. He finds himself becoming more intuitive in his approach. This happens without thought. It occurs automatically simply by DOING.
This should be FUN, guys. If you are just starting out, that rare success should demonstrate to you that it is possible to get much better. All you need to do is to DO, dispassionately and detached, like the scientist.
When I was learning golf, I could barely get the ball off the tee for years. I would scoop it, toe it, top it, everything but hit is straight. But in every round I would get that one beautiful shot off, and THAT feeling is what kept me coming back. You golfers out there are shouting a big "amen" as you read this. Dwell on the successes. Consider the failures as the very bricks that make up your road to success. The failures are quite literally the rungs of your ladder. Create them and climb them.
Your failures are catapults. They launch you ever higher but you don't realize it because you get caught up in the emotion of it. You care about the outcome, and that twists up your brain.
Life and game are one great big experiment. See that "natural" over there who gets all the women? For whatever reason, life dealt him a good hand. Most likely he had a positive male role model growing up, something most of us here did not have. Get over it. You see that Ethiopian kid sitting in the dirt with flies crawling all over his face? Life dealt YOU a good hand, didn't it? The natural plays his hand. Play yours. You don't have the natural's skills. You don't have the natural's confidence. But what you DO have is the information here at SS that you can gradually put to use.
You are upset because you want to be a natural, a great Don Juan who appeals to women universally. You want it tonight. You are not willing to wait. Therein lies your misery and feeling of hopelessness. You need to understand that you cannot be universally attractive to women (as they can to men), and that you CAN INDEED make yourself attractive to YOUR kind of women, when you approch the challenge incrementally in baby steps.
Go out there and offend some women because you're experimenting (within reason of course). Women are abundant. They're all over the place. Each one is an experiment. Ask yourself "What would happen if...." and then do it. DO NOT be afraid to offend. This is the very stuff of your lab work. Mentally record your results and use your subconscious will use it to make subtle corrections. One of these days (and soon) you will find that a woman will respond positively to something that you were certain would offend her. Don't read this wrong... don't live to offend... Rather, live to EXPERIMENT.
Derive your fun and satisfaction from the DOING, not from the RESULT. The DOING is what brings a man joy regardless of the outcome, for he knows that in each DOING he is changing deep inside without even a single thought.
OK, Poindexter. Get in the lab and get to work. Your mission is to have fun, to relish the excitement of discovery, and the excitement of learning how to detach, how to attain that CERTAINTY that you will start seeing results. You are a pioneer, blazing a new trail for yourself, not for others but for yourself, and that should excite you and propel you into DOING. Experiment, have fun, expect lots of "failure" which is actually the very substance of your success.
Always picture a successful YOU standing on top of a mountain looking down upon the world. That mountain that you built is comprised of many, many failures and a few successes. You are one of the select few who know a monumental secret... that every so-called "failure" propels you closer to success. One day you will see that the things that used to twist you up inside were absolutely meaningless because you viwed them as Personal, Pervasive and Permanent.
Test tubes ready? GO!!!
