Spinning plates - want to pick one

[Toddy]

Hi guys,
I came out of a 20 year marriage last year. I’ve since been dating a lot (probably not as much as some guys on here). For context I’m 48, 6’4 in great shape, with nice hair etc. I’ve found I have been really successful in dating, mainly OLD but a couple of in person ones too.
I find the whole spinning plates quite stressful, I currently have 3 on the go at the moment and have done for 3 months, which I see each twice a week. They all live within 10 miles of each other so the chances are remote I’d bump in to them whilst on another date but it’s a possibility.
They are all different and I enjoy them all, I reckon of the 3 there’s one I could drop. But how and should I pick? I think one suspects I’m seeing other women.
I do like being in an exclusive relationship.
One more question, how do you guys bin off your women, I either act uninterested for a while so they get the hint or ghost them. Do you do it by text or in person?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well, if one doesn’t stand out as the pick of the litter you should keep meeting women until one just makes you want to hang up your guns. That’s what I would do. When you’re playing the odds with multiple partners some will inevitably fall off that’s why you keep the pipeline full of prospects if you can.

I do not believe in being in a monogamous relationship just to be in one. The woman should make you want to only see her.

What matters to you in a woman is personal, don’t let anyone tell you what you should want. Some men like a lot of sex, some don’t need as much, others like a woman that cooks and cleans, some do not. The combination of the things you value should be in the woman you go monogamous with.

There are those on the board that will chime in shortly to tell you that there’s no way you can have sex 6 times a week, because they don’t and or cannot, expect it. Ask me how I know

There will be those who tell you you should fuk so much and work on you.

Haters will hate.

Do what makes YOU happy.

 

[Bingo-Player]

How old are they all ?

 

[Toddy]

Thanks for a great reply. I’ve dated several women since leaving my marriage and know what I want. Of the three current ones, there’s one I’ll probably drop, of the other two I just don’t know.
As for sex, whilst I see them twice a week I’m not necessarily smashing each time so more likely 4-5 per week, which if I’m honest is a struggle, I’ve needed some viagra to assist.
As for working on myself, I’ve always prioritised health and fitness, gym 4 times a week and jiu jitsu 3 times per week - I’ve a great career, work from home so can spend time doing this.

I’ll keep you posted….

 

[Toddy]

How old are they all ?

51 great body and so caring
38
41

 

[Bingo-Player]

Problem is the 51 year old is probably going through or has already been through the menopause this is going to cause issues with sex eventually if it isn't already

If thats not a problem for you then I would take that one as she is clearly in the front running for you

The 38yr old should be the most sexually active and will have more " miles on the clock"

But again you are in a different stage of life at 50 , you probably want a companion now to settle down with and enjoy retirement sex may not be as much of a priority so factor that in

If you genuinely enjoy being with the 50 year old I would take that over sex at your age all day long

 

[Toddy]

Problem is the 51 year old is probably going through or has already been through the menopause this is going to cause issues with sex eventually if it isn't already

If thats not a problem for you then I would take that one as she is clearly in the front running for you

The 38yr old should be the most sexually active and will have more " miles on the clock"

But again you are in a different stage of life at 50 , you probably want a companion now to settle down with and enjoy retirement sex may not be as much of a priority so factor that in

If you genuinely enjoy being with the 50 year old I would take that over sex at your age all day long

Thanks for that, the 51 year old is certainly great in all aspects, not sure how I’ll feel in a few years when she’s older knowing I could’ve had someone 10+ years younger.
I won’t a decision just yet I’ll see which falls to the way side.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I think there is some confusion among many men who have not dated menopausal or post menopausal women.

I am dating a 55 year old who is well past menopause, she has a body that rivals that of any 30 year old, she’s an athlete, and loves sex, she facks like a bunny rabbit, is horny af and we’ve been seeing each other 4-5 times a week for 6 months. Never has she not been willing and enthusiastic, we go at it for hours every time. I’m talking aggressive, powerful sex. And no she’s not on HRT. She does have hot flashes from time to time always as a result of being easily aroused.

They are out there. Menopause does not mean sexopause. Just wanted to get that out of the way. I’ve met and had sex with other peri/menopausal women with healthy sexual appetites as well.

Just like there are men that are high libido, there are women that are too - of any age.

Protip: People who do not have ACTUAL experience with women 45-60 should not try to speak authoritatively about them, or if they do should say it’s not based on their personal experiences.

 

[Toddy]

@Pierce Manhammer Thanks for this, making the decision harder. I've dated a few 45+ women some understand the menopause others like my ex-wife ignore it and don't think there is an issue, some are on HRT. Some have amazing bodies, and are very sexual. Most have older children and well set up.
With the other two the 38 year old is lovely and sweet, sex drive medium, very attractive, only had a couple of relationships, and always makes a real effort both in appearance or making things and bringing things along to the date.
The 41 year old, is absolutely sex made, loves dressing up and wants to please, has an amazing body, boobs and bum, but suspect she's had many partners.
If I'd ask myself the question which one would I take to a family wedding and it would be the young one.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think there is some confusion among many men who have not dated menopausal or post menopausal women.

I am dating a 55 year old who is well past menopause, she has a body that rivals that of any 30 year old, she’s an athlete, and loves sex, she facks like a bunny rabbit, is horny af and we’ve been seeing each other 4-5 times a week for 6 months. Never has she not been willing and enthusiastic, we go at it for hours every time. I’m talking aggressive, powerful sex. And no she’s not on HRT. She does have hot flashes from time to time always as a result of being easily aroused.

They are out there. Menopause does not mean sexopause. Just wanted to get that out of the way. I’ve met and had sex with other peri/menopausal women with healthy sexual appetites as well.

Just like there are men that are high libido, there are women that are too - of any age.

Protip: People who do not have ACTUAL experience with women 45-60 should not try to speak authoritatively about them, or if they do should say it’s not based on their personal experiences.

You're dating and in the novelty sex stage any man with any experience with women will be aware this phase doesn't last with young women let alone ones past 50 who are slowly becoming men

If the novelty of sex with a partner never wore off the entire sex industry would collapse overnight

Maybe you have an outlier but if we are brutally honest the majority of women in this age range are going to turn the sex tap off overnight once they feel the commitment is secured

That's why I specifically asked OP where his priorities around sex lay

Judging by his answer pretty highly

 

[Toddy]

You're dating and in the novelty sex stage any man with any experience with women will be aware this phase doesn't last with young women let alone ones past 50 who are slowly becoming men

If the novelty of sex with a partner never wore off the entire sex industry would collapse overnight

Maybe you have an outlier but if we are brutally honest the majority of women in this age range are going to turn the sex tap off overnight once they feel the commitment is secured

That's why I specifically asked OP where his priorities around sex lay

Judging by his answer pretty highly

Having come out of a long marriage with a women who did indeed turn masculine and just awful, my priorities were to find a feminine women and someone with true burning desire, I believe I have that in all three. Sex is important to me but appreciate I'm in the honeymoon period, it's not the be all and end all, priority is someone pleasant.

 

[pipeman84]

Going from marriage to fvcking some way post wall/menopausal hoes from OLD sounds like a major downgrade to me. I don't understand how you can stomach the thought that those 3 are having sex with other dudes and you can literally kiss her today after she sucked some other guy's dyck yesterday.
Furthermore what do you even talk about with 40/50yrs old women? They're damaged goods, are you going to start a family with one of them?

my priorities were to find a feminine women and someone with true burning desire, I believe I have that in all three.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

kiss her today after she sucked some other guy's dyck yesterday.

are you sure your woman is pure like the driven snow?

 

[pipeman84]

are you sure your woman is pure like the driven snow?

Don't have one, but if I had, I would make sure she was. If there isn't anything special about her, why would I make her my woman? Just having a pair of tits and a pvssy doesn't qualify, those are relatively cheap to come by.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Don't have one, but if I had, I would make sure she was. If there isn't anything special about her, why would I make her my woman? Just having a pair of tits and a pvssy doesn't qualify, those are relatively cheap to come by.

Cool, show her off when you find this unicorn.

 

[Toddy]

Going from marriage to fvcking some way post wall/menopausal hoes from OLD sounds like a major downgrade to me. I don't understand how you can stomach the thought that those 3 are having sex with other dudes and you can literally kiss her today after she sucked some other guy's dyck yesterday.
Furthermore what do you even talk about with 40/50yrs old women? They're damaged goods, are you going to start a family with one of them?

I'm pretty sure none of them are seeing other guy's they are all always available whenever I ask. The two younger ones have teenage kids so have commitments. All absolutely adore me and treat me as their best option. For a 40-50yr old I'm a very good catch, I like dating in this range there's so much more commonality.
There are some very good 40-50 years olds out there, I've dated several, a few not so nice, but I'll be sticking with this range, a few years either way of my age suits me.

are you sure your woman is pure like the driven snow?

The young one is reasonably innocent, the middle one's probably not that innocent, the older again reasonably innocent.

 

[Toddy]

Cool, show her off when you find this unicorn.

Boobs and bum are of side importance, I really want someone who really desires me, and someone who is a genuinely a nice person.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why are you worried if you bump into one while on a date with another?

They should know that you aren't exclusive with them. The only way this is an issue is if you are lying to them and telling them they are the only one you are dating.

If you are doing this then stop it.

Don't settle if you don't think any of them are that great. Mediocrity isn't where it's at.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I find the whole spinning plates quite stressful...

Think of this as "Dating many women" instead. It's much less arduous and easier to wrap one's brain around, not to mention the way we spoke and thought about these topics, as recently as The Early 10s. Props to you for going out into the world and enjoying life, rather than consuming a few million hours of Manosphere content, then getting caught up in endlessly mulling over things

 

[Toddy]

Why are you worried if you bump into one while on a date with another?

They should know that you aren't exclusive with them. The only way this is an issue is if you are lying to them and telling them they are the only one you are dating.

If you are doing this then stop it.

Don't settle if you don't think any of them are that great. Mediocrity isn't where it's at.

I've not had the exclusivity chat with any of them, but suspect they believe it's implied both sides.