Spinning plates, as a gentleman

[wait_out]

Being we're in our 30's, I've noticed the LTR clock ticking pretty hard for women my age. I like to play fair and be clear to the girls I date -- and right now that is "i don't want an exclusive LTR, even if you do".

1) I don't think I'm obligated to explain anything before sleeping with a girl. This isn't the 50's, and it wouldn't be fair of her to pressure me into exclusivity by having a tantrum if she doesn't get what she wants. If she knows she'll be hurt, she needs to explain her wishes first -- she's an adult right? I bailed out of a "sure-thing" (she asked to see my house while drunk at a party next door) because I knew she was trying to add a boyfriend to her life. Could I have handled this better?

2) At what point do I make sure a woman doesn't get the wrong impression? Any problematic signs to look for?

3) Bonus question -- how do I keep it as chill and fun/respectful for the girls as possible? I'd prefer to avoid drama.

I've mostly just been having flings on vacation, or wanted a LTR when younger, so I'm a little out of my depth. It's ironic but I don't think the stigma is less here for guys than girls. I don't want to fall into a stereotype of being immature or "notching bedposts" -- at this point in my life, I'd rather just date a lot of people and enjoy every woman's uniqueness. An LTR seems more about having a family or someone to watch movies with every night, and it doesn't attract me.

I want to be as class as possible about this -- any tips for being a genuine guy and not a player? Thanks in advance.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I've found honesty really is the best policy. Even if it costs you a fvck, it's better to have her go in to a fling or FB situation with her eyes wide open.

Just be cool and calmly say something like: "I'm a confirmed bachelor and don't really want anything serious right now.
"I'm just enjoying being single at the moment."
"Sure, I'd like to hang out with you but I'm not interested in settling down at this point in my life."

Delivered sensitively, honestly and with a twinkle in your eye, she may agree or she may not.
At the end of the day, whatever happens, both of you are aware of the deal and if she agrees, you can have great guilt-free sex for a while knowing that she's there even though there's little to no prospect of something serious developing.

 

[speed dawg]

Why even talk about this subject with a chick? Just concentrate on having fun. If she starts the relationship talk just make some jokes about it using your own humor. You'll know right then if you like her. If she laughs at your jokes and takes a little ribbing from you you'll know she might be worth a relationship later on down the line.

We all want a good relationship, it's human nature, natural. You're lying if you say you don't. We can also live without one, though.