Speaking Publicly

Oni

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My problem is that i'm always quiet and dont speak a lot to strangers or to a group of people. Why cant i seem to pull myself together and act better? I mean cuz when im with friends, im just like one of the loudest and talkative in the group. But when im with strangers or i have to speak out loud in the classrom, i seem to have problems when trying to start a convo. So i just keep to myself when under these situations. I always tell myself that i musn't do that, and i should muster my courage and speak publicly, but i can never seem to pull it off.

Overcoming this is so hard. I tell myself every morning, "this is it, this is the day im going to change it all." but i never did it cuz whenever im about to do it, my voice either crack or i speak really softly. Any advice on how to get past this stage?
 

Fitch

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I am in the same predicament. Was rather. I overcame it, how you ask? Simple, just do it.

How do you talk to your parents? Are you neverous, does your voice crack? How do you talk to your friends? Normally -- correct? Why? Because you are COMFORTABLE around your friends. Get comfortable in a public environment. What is the reason not to be?

If you were thinking... my voice or something along the line of embarrassing yourself -- you should get smacked :D

Haha, with all seriousness -- you must DO it. Who gives a sh1t if your voice is low or cracks? You lack confidence my friend. I had the same EXACT problem. I realized that my voice fvcks up every now and then.

So what did I do? Nothing special... just improve. I want to be a lawyer/politican when I become an adult so speech is essiential. Everyday is practice for me -- I consistantly aim for improvement. If i notice my voice is weak or cracks... I start over and speak with convinction -- loudly and clearly.

I still have work to do... I only started to overcome -- and so can you; just follow my steps. I speak from experience.
 
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Sir Lancelot

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I don't know if you're school has it, but try to take a public speaking class. I took one this year and I have no problem at all talking in front of large groups now.

If you're school doesn't have a class that you can take, the only thing you can do is to take yourself out of your comfort zone. You can take baby steps with this, like raise your hand to ask a question in class, and other things of that nature.
 

Oni

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Well today was so and so, i spoke with a lil bit more courage now but still not as well. I also realized that sometimes i have nothing to say, my group would be all talking and laughing and i'd just sit and listen and laugh with them.
 

516

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Make sure that when you are speaking publicly, you stand straight up, have your shoulders square and your head is up and your eyes are looking out over your audience. Instead of looking down or away or staring at someone or making your eyes zip all over the place, try holding eye contact with each section of the room for several seconds and then move to the next section and keep your eyes going like that. Never stay too long so that your staring but dont keep your eyes real jumpy and fluttering all around the audience either. Hold contact with each section for a few seconds and then go to the next section. In addition, try speaking from deep down in your belly, as opposed to speaking from high up in your throat.
 

Fitch

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First you must master the basics before polishing the skills for projection.

One can not polish the wood before transforming the wood into a table. Once you build the table -- then you polish.

When you play basketball, you first work on your shots, dribbling techniques, etc., before you work on improving proper stance, strategies, etc.

Even though your advice is O.K. You need to advance step-by-step.

I did not learn how to run, before walking. Speaking is the same principle.

Carnegie --

"Good post Fitch!"

Thank you. I am flattered -- I appreciate your critique.
 

NotaGoatLover

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Work from your family and up........ I have such a great time with my family i hardly care about what my friends do what's happening....... After i learned all this stuff and being ****y and funny and getting into the scene.... I got so confident and now I'm always making jokes with my dad and mom......

And i'm always the main guy talking when i'm with my friends.... you gotta get wacky ideas and funny wierd wacky questions and sorta stuff....
 

Fitch

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As I said in the above post, you first have to master the basics. Master the techniques of speaking. Then once you have completed that. Then you can move on to the manipulation of words.
 

DonVitoCorleone

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What I did.

I used to feel nervous about those same things. I just changed how I viewed the situations. Your focus is on how people will think less of you after they witness you talk. Just think of it as a joke and don't take it too serious. For practice I started talking to complete strangers and asked them how they were doing. It's funny because most people respond politley(sp?) and talk to you like they konw you. I still get nervous speaking in front of the class because I know I have a grade riding on it.
 

Oni

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Today was rather weird. I was in the classroom listening to lectures and feeling sleepy. All of a sudden my cell phone rang and i paniced. Luckily my teacher was lenient and didnt confiscate it. anyways what happened here is that after the cell phone woke me up, i seem to be tlaking loudly in the class with the teacher without having any problem. Then when i went to the next class, i realized that i seem to be talking in front of a lot of people a lot easier now and we had a solo presentation in spanish class and i was just up there speaking all natural and even made the class laugh. It seems like the cell phone gave me a "wake up call". I didnt realize this till after school and when i checked who was it who called me, the number was restricted. OoOoO mysterious..
 

Fitch

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I knew that "wake up" call would work. ;) :D

I would of have called you sooner.... you know the FBI these days...so up-tight these days :)

Congrats on your success. Keep it up. Never lose your momentum.
 

Diaoz

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Hey that's me too. I talk alot and well with friends but with strangers/public, I just kindda crack/go soft or just weird.

As mentioned, a mind-frame thing, just gotta practice and be used to it.

However, I gotta do something with the my voice itself. Trying to get more projection/articulation/timbre!

Anyone got any good exercise? Tried the breathing with your diaphragm thingy but couldn't really pick it up nor improve.
 
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