Source of Confidence...

[Mr. Mystery]

Where does your source of confidence come from? Don't answer to quickly, and don't lie to yourself.

If you come to this site often and have not taken a break from it for a good amount of time, than your confidence is derived from your presence here on the forums.

That makes you dependant on the forum. I don't know about you guys, but I don't like to be dependant on anything or anyone but myself.

When you leave this site for awhile (when your ready) you stop thinking about all the theories, all the hows and whys. Its a great feeling...being confident without thinking about it.

Once you leave the forums for a while, you learn that you don't need to go there everyday and check if there is some new topic to discuss about online. If you like these discussions then you can always find someone to discuss them with face to face.

When you realize that you don't have to be discussing and debating things like Mystery, C&F, Confidence, Challenge, etc, your source of confidence becomes anchored in you.

Before it was anchored in both you and your online "persona". I can't get into this anymore than that. While I think I have a good understanding of it I can't put it into words. I'll try and come back to it later if I can think of a good way to explain it.

This is just something I've noticed in my time away from the board recently. I was confident before I took my break, but that confidence became reinforced when I left the forums.

Before I thought I didn't need the forums. After all, everything there gets to be pretty repetative after awhile. After leaving, I know that I don't need the forums. My confidence is based on me.

I hope that is at least alittle understandable, I'm not the best writer and my posts are always alittle jumbled. I will try and answer anything that is unclear.

Mr. Mystery

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by icepick
Yeah, I hop on this site, and I end up writing lots of things, taking up my time. I want to spend less time on here, but sometimes I see a post or something and I feel like I have to chip in. Before you know it, I have to go. My fricken house is messy, and I got laundry and paperwork that I have to do. My finances are crazy...

This site is a convienent excuse. Because even "Yahoo pool" gets boring. (And I hate video games.)

But I really should cut myself off from here, because it keeps me from doing the more BORING things in my life that must get done.

Good point Mr. Mystery, you convinced me, talk to y'all at the end of the summer...

Peace.

Umm, scratch that. I managed to get all that shit done yesterday. Plus, I had some experiences/revelations that I would not want to hold back from the board.

lol

 

[Sisko]

I have noticed this too.

When I'm off the forums for avile, my confidence actually is bigger, then when I visit them regularry every day.

So every once in avile I get off the forums for a month, two or three, and I come back out of BOREDOM (like I'm sick for a week....
and then coming here becomes a habbit again).

 

[K56Connect]

Source of confidence - alcohol
I've kissed and screwed two girls in my 22 years on this earth. I met both of them while being EXTREMELY intoxicated, while the girls on the other hand were not drinking at all. I hadn't even had a kiss in my life until I tasted that sweet, sweet confidence juice. And with a rating of 9.8 on hotornot.com, you'de think I'de had more play in my life. That just goes to show you that looks mean absolutely NOTHING if you don't have the guts to say two words to a girl because you're so shy. I've had girls come up to me and ask me out (not LITERALLY out on dates, but they would ask me to go somewhere with them on campus or to hang out with them and eat between classes) and when they did ask me, I'de blow them off because of my extreme shyness. Well now, I'm miserable. I can't so much as even talk to a girl unless I've had a few in me. It's a cruch, and my demise.

 

[DJintheworks]

good post man, I agree.

 

[DraGon_luv]

Now that i am in a relationship i find it important i constantly come on ,, i dunno why ?


mabey the fact its has possibilities for being my first long time relationship, Good idea or bad idea?

its hard to say, by being doctered by my fellow dj i wioll have learn alot and how to deal with my situations,

i hear alot of people talking about, dotn worry about your mistakes just learn from them and dont do them again


but would it not be better to know before hand not to do them

then you cant feel the pain or stupidity of doing it and be wiser at the same time, i think thats why many ppl still come on , time and time again ,

and last but not least i think the creator of this site , make some money when people come on to the site,

is that how your gona repay someone come on learn all you need to know and then turn your back on them

i dont mean that in an offending ,

~sona~

 

[Mr. Mystery]

DraGon_luv,

If there is a way to avoid a mistake, than by all means, avoid it. Why would you consciously decide to make a mistake?

The problem comes when you depend on the advice given here at this website to answer your questions for you. So many come here and ask before they do anything. I won't go into it any further since I've already covered it in this thread:

http://sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13668&highlight=risk

Originally posted by DraGon_luv:is that how your gona repay someone come on learn all you need to know and then turn your back on them

i dont mean that in an offending ,

Everyone at this website comes to a point where this stuff becomes almost unessesary. You then begin to see things as simpler and simpler.

The advice I would be giving at this point would be confusing to newbies. Basically, I preach the "be yourself" over everything else talked about here.

My answer to most of the questions in the Discussion Forum would be simply, "Try it and find out". Who wants to here that? I'm not helpful anymore, so why should I stay?

I've read the DJ Bible, I could answer most of the questions asked, as could many others here, so I will allow the others to answer for me.

All thats nessecary to progress is to read the DJ Bible and hit the field. People should learn to answer their own questions by going for it, fvcking up, and thinking about what went wrong (perhaps by posting your problem and proposed solution here at the forums).

As for me paying back Allen and the others that have helped me get better with women... I think the best way to pay them back is to go out enjoy life and get some girls, not waste long hours advising others on what to do with women, since I would only be hindering their growth and progress.

Lets learn to depend on ourselves fellas.

And DraGon_luv, no offense taken.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery
Before it was anchored in both you and your online "persona". I can't get into this anymore than that. While I think I have a good understanding of it I can't put it into words. I'll try and come back to it later if I can think of a good way to explain it.

Alright, let me give this another crack...

I don't know if my defenition of confidence is the same as most peoples here...I haven't discussed it with too many of you individually. So my opinion of it may be different than yours, but I base my argument on my premise of confidence:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16974&highlight=the+essence

When you are actively posting here you get confident after awhile, you start to beleive that this stuff will work, so you try it and it does work. Great!

But the confidence you have comes from the information on this site, so you are hesitant to leave the site once you get this wonderful confidence. You worry that if you don't read often you may miss a good post that would really secure that confidence that is growing inside you.

To really help along that growing confidence, feed it some independence, and see where that leads you.

Hope that cleared things up alittle bit...

Mr. Mystery