Sometimes, you just deserve better

[SuperScott]

Hi all! I've been a long time reader at the dj center but this is my first post.

Before I get into the subject of my post, I should list some
background info. I'm a young guy (18) who just graduated
from high school and getting ready to go away to attend college
in a month. I just broke up with my first gf. I was hoping to get
some feedback on my situation.

Anyway here's the scoop:

A couple of days ago, my gf of 6 months tells me that she wants to see other people. We break up that night. A couple days
later she wants to hang out, and like an idiot, I go. That was two
nights ago. It was cool at the time because she was treating
me like gold, like the old days. The next night at work, she treated
me like a second class citizen the whole day, then when she gets
off of work she races off to meet some other dudes. Now I see that i'm just the guy she plans to call when she is bored and these other dudes are tired of her, and to that I say NO MORE!
I have feelings for this girl but now it's obious that she's using me.
In a couple of hours, I'm going to call her and tell her that I can't see her anymore.(It's 6:30 am right now so I wait only out of courtesy) I may not be a "real dj" yet, and I certainly
don't have women swarming all over me as I would like. But
I'll be alone before I let someone do me this way. I know that
I deserve better.

 

[stallion]

hey, its good you discovered this site at your age.

I was a clueless chump at your age but the damage was light as I'm still 22 which isn't too bad.

You'll have plennty of opportunities at college so good luck!

 

[comote]

If I were you I would not tell her that. Just whenever she wants to hang out with her make up some excuse as to why you can't. It has nothing to do with getting her back or anything it is simply a better way to handle the situation.

 

[SamePendo]

Yep, DONT call her.

Do not call her, as comote said.
To add to comote's advice. The excuse. When you say you have to do X thing, make X a unimportant thing, like, I dont know, something that isnt really important, and that normally anyone would prefer to hang out with her.
Oh, OR say that you are going out with someone, even better than the unimportant thing.
This is for jealousy.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Depending on your level of angst you could pull all contact from her.

 

[princelydeeds]

Glad to see you are standing up for yourself. I know it hurts, but I think she is doing you a favor. Cut her loose and move forward with your life. You are going to college and those will be the best years of your life. Print out the DJ bible and spend the rest of your summer practicing those DJ skills. practice hard and learn, soak up all that knowledge. You will be miles ahead of the rest of the guys in school. God I wish I had a DJ bible when I went to college! you just don't know how lucky you are.

Save all the serious relationships for later in life. Just have fun. Get laid, and be happy. I don't know any man who ever said on his deathbed "I wish I had gotten laid less!"

 

[LuckyMonkey]

ya keeping in contact with the EX is bad idea.
Like last night...my ex MSN me out of no where and saying why I totally ignored her at a wedding party while flirting with another hot chick.
She told me that friends don't do that to each other.
So I told her that I never wanted to be her friend after I broke up with her.
So she said BS...
She was practically begging to be my friend.
I told her straight out...being friend with the ex is the hardest thing and I told her to forget about me.
Then I told her I had to go and thanks her for all the fun time together.

It is screwed up but when you push and ignore them...even those they wanted to stay friends. They will come back for more...hahaha.

Life is funny sometime...nothing seems to make sense.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Naw were just learning. Hell, when my ex hit me with th LJBF line I told her to take a hike cause I wasen't going to live a lie. I told her she could date and bang whoever she wanted whilist I did the same. It gets to a point where any form of AFC is beaten out of you. A Don Juan is truly built from the carcass of an AFC. People can have their cake and eat it to. Just not at our expense as far as dating goes. Build some nice towers my friend. You'll be surprised the amount of webs cast your way

 

[iqqi]

Glad to see you are standing up for yourself.

vs.

If I were you I would not tell her that. Just whenever she wants to hang out with her make up some excuse as to why you can't. It has nothing to do with getting her back or anything it is simply a better way to handle the situation.

I am wondering if there is ever a situation where you should actually "stand up for yourself", and put it all on the table, vs. just giving the cold shoulder??? Do you think that each one leads the path in a different direction?

 

[drixsa]

i think one thing you really have to watch out for is that girl that just wants you to be the guy that she chills with and watches a movie

those girls can be hard to next b/c they really havent done anything that bad

 

[htemorp]

Don't see the need to next this chick. She's perfect for social proof. Just make sure that the feeling is mutual, don't put in anymore than you should. Or treat her like one of your guy friends, homies that you call on certain days or treat her like how she has treated you. Plus she's got a *****, doesn't hurt to get some of that sometime.

 

[Industry]

If you don't want anything to do with her (like get back together, etc.) then decide what you want and take it. Don't let her push you around and get what she wants. You're only supplicating her and giving in. This girl seems like a total AFC chick and is totally turned around. Usually it's the guy trying to get whatever he can from an ex. Remember this situation for the next time you may be in this. Think of how annoying she is and how badly you wish she'd just shut up and go away for awhile. That's what girls think of us when we call them over and over and beg for anything they'll give us. Don't do it man.

 

[Walden]

Telling her to step off means you can never ever get back with her. Which saves you the effort of thinking about her and wondering what if?

 

[Legend]

College is the best years of your life? I take it you probably did'nt go to college then. That is a most loser statement to think college is just a big party. I take college very seriously and am their for an education to give me the skills i need in to make real money. Hell i'm enjoying the hell out of school but you need to get real if you think all you are going to do is just party. You will last one semester before your a$$ is kicked out.

Yeah you meet girls in college but dont lose sight of the real reason you are there. School first and if there is a girl put her second. Get your education dude, there is always time to pick up chicks.

i know this is off the topic a little bit but it seems to me everyone here is giving you advice that college is a big joke and is nothing more then a social connection to get laid. Which it could be....but you could do this without paying thousands of dollars a year.

Get your head on straight....

 

[Jay26]

Don't see the need to next this chick. She's perfect for social proof.

I'm all for social proof, but... your ex-gf??? No way!

That sounds awkward and, if he's hung-up on this girl, painful.

Social proof is good and all but who needs it that bad!

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by Legend
College is the best years of your life? I take it you probably did'nt go to college then. That is a most loser statement to think college is just a big party. I take college very seriously and am their for an education to give me the skills i need in to make real money. Hell i'm enjoying the hell out of school but you need to get real if you think all you are going to do is just party. You will last one semester before your a$$ is kicked out.

Yeah you meet girls in college but dont lose sight of the real reason you are there. School first and if there is a girl put her second. Get your education dude, there is always time to pick up chicks.

i know this is off the topic a little bit but it seems to me everyone here is giving you advice that college is a big joke and is nothing more then a social connection to get laid. Which it could be....but you could do this without paying thousands of dollars a year.

Get your head on straight....

Ok Mr. Know it all, actually I have a masters degree in finance. No one said in any post to do nothing but party and get laid. In fact I will argue that doing well got me more pv$$y. This is a forum about dating and getting women not about doing well in school. I had a social life in college,Got laid regularly, and got decent grades. One doesn't haev to choose between all of the above, one can have all three. I Had all three. When it was time to study I studied, when it was time to party I had plenty of fun.