Someone please tell me I did the right thing...LDR issue

[JCballin88]

Hey fellas...

So I've had a pretty tumultuous initiation to a LDR that I am in the process of ending...I think.

I've made a couple threads about this girl before...backstory is we met at home about three months ago and got pretty close...never *official* but absolutely wild about each other. During that time I made it clear to her that I was looking for a new job (was living at home with parents), and I actually got an awesome internship/possible entry-level job offer with a pro sports team in Florida.

So basically I accepted the job...we kept seeing each other until I had to leave 2 weeks ago. Although I told her a true LDR was doomed, we kept talking...and it got to the point where we were texting all day during our free time and Skyping at night for 2 hours before bed.

It's been during this time that I realized I just can't keep up this pace...it's just not healthy. I'm not sleeping at night, losing my appetite, thinking about her all day long at this new job...looking at the map and airfare and wishing I'd never left.

So last night I kinda broke down and said "I don't think I can do this...at least at this pace..." and she became devastated and accused me of wanting to "take the easy way out," etc. She MIGHT be coming to the area to stay...but not until the summer...and I just don't think I can keep talking to her during all my free time here if I know I'm only gonna see her once in six months.

She keeps saying things like "what we have is something different than most people who fail," "people would kill for someone who cares this much...even if they're 1300 miles away," etc. She keeps telling me how much I'm hurting her and accusing me of never truly caring...but it's honestly because I care so MUCH and don't want to hurt us MORE down the road that I think this is really the only way to approach this.

I just don't know what to do. I have like...no interest in other girls...no friends here...but I just can't keep doing this and losing sleep. What I wanted to do was kinda put our feelings on the backburner until we know better where life was taking us in the next 6-12 months...but she needs all-or-nothing.

So now my weekend is shot since I'll be texting her the whole time and probably not resolving anything...someone please give this AFC some insight...I'm a mess.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Coast for another couple of weeks to see if this job really pans out or not.

Career and self 1st, women 2nd.

In two weeks you will probably have a good idea as to whether or not you need to re-adjust your plans.

If that is the case, you DID NOT make a mistake in taking that position. Rather, you made the best decision you could under your circumstances. You simply acted on an opportunity with no guarantee of the outcome. That's an admirable thing regardless of the outcome.

Remember you have been addicted to your relationship with her and part of what you're going through could be addiction withdrawal. That's why you want to bide your time and not decide hastily.

 

[JCballin88]

Thanks...I know I have to stay here with this job...it could lead to a really cool career...otherwise I'm home living with my parents until who-knows-when?

I have asked her if we can bide our time and try to take a step back...but she is freaking out and accusing me of just needing any excuse I need to end it.

 

[drak_ool]

hey OP, I agree with Atom Smasher 100%: career/job 1st, women 2nd.

The only woman I've ever loved lives 5,000 miles away from me, on a diff continent. We lived together at one point, but then it became LDR when I had to come back home to finish school. Now that I have a law degree, I could either practice here in the US, or move to her country and be an English teacher or something. After 1.5 years of LDR, when she flew over to see me every couple months, I made the hard decision: I would stay here and work on my career. I was REALLY into my chick, but a long time ago I made the decision to never let a bytch come between me and my career. You wanna know why? because your job will be there for you, it will lead to your development as a productive member of society aka you will be that much closer to making bank! Women just come and go...

In the end, my chick cracked and left me, she couldn't do the LDR no more. It still hurts me, but I don't regret my decision. You first, women second.