Some weird sets lately

[resilient]

I don’t know if I’m giving off some nice guy frame vibe or something... I prefer approachable, social, diverse interests, fun with a dash of mystery.

Lately, I’ve had a few strange sets.

Off the top of my head:

Set1:
Decent girl (better looking of the two sets), didn’t take the time to rate her, yet got turned off when she bummed a cigarette off my friend at a beach bonfire that she tossed into,the fire when she finished her last drag. She starts complaining about her last ex-boyfriend being insecure, buying expensive dinners, spending money trying to impress her, etc. I did most of the listening and was trying to figure out how to turn around the convo away from the whining and onto fun neutral territory. I eventually got bored and ejected convo to get something to eat and didn’t go back to her.

Set2:
Stumbled upon a girl at night for a weekend camp retreat. I nearly ran into her in the dark. I asked her what she was up to. She was looking up at the stars looking for recogizable ones. I joined her and used my phone app to find a few and cracked a few jokes. Then out of no where she randomly starts talking about how her and her friend have been having crappy luck on OLD and can’t find guys they’re looking for. One of the guys she said she went on a date from OLD was into astronomy so I guess that was her connection. This girl was not good looking DJs. Calling her a 4.5 would be generous. She was a little tubby, yet it was the face and voice that was a huge turn off. Bored and again not interested so I bid her good night and bounced the set.

Did both sets catch that I wasn’t interested so they thought by talking about dating experiences would get me to invest in the set? Sounds like their topics were some kind of qualifying scenarios for me to relate about dating experiences? That’s friend zone territory, lol.

 

[Roober]

Sounds like you weren't interested in either of them. Just sounds like casual conversation to me, and it sounds like you may need to work on that. Talking with women you are uninterested in is a great time to practice your social skills because you really have nothing to lose.

 

[resilient]

If you were complete uninterested then Why Posting a thread about them?

Well we see threads here often about a woman that a guy may be punching above his SMV belt and the female gives off hot/cold or not interested vibes, so this thread is sort of like that but from the eyes of a DJ. There are still lessons to be learned here.

But one think i noticed is when girls feel that you are Not into them they autoreject you First. Maybe you gave off this vibe.

That's probably true. With NoFap, I give off a more IDGAF vibe lately, so I'm more comfortable in my own skin and I don't have an objective with them. If all women assume all men just want to fvck them, they wonder about the guys they're attracted to physically at first who don't chomp at the bit right out the gate. Women love a challenge if there's a hint at a mutual attraction. I don't think I conveyed mutual attraction with that first set, so I wonder why she launched into a convo trashing her ex-boyfriend.

Sounds like you weren't interested in either of them. Just sounds like casual conversation to me, and it sounds like you may need to work on that. Talking with women you are uninterested in is a great time to practice your social skills because you really have nothing to lose.

Definitely. I wasn't attracted to them, so I was polite, yet wasn't overly eager to have an invested conversation. I think it's good frame practice to talk to sets that you're not interested in, so you put women less up on a pedestal. I do have to work more at approaching the 8-10s though. I don't get rejected from them enough. I usually play it safe with HB7s.

 

[Fruitbat]

Hmm. The chicks I met but didn't like much seemed to be completely desperate for it.

One even offered me no strings sex, and continues to text me, about 4 months after one date bitching about her BF.

Guess it depends on context.

 

[That_dude]

Hmm. The chicks I met but didn't like much seemed to be completely desperate for it.

One even offered me no strings sex, and continues to text me, about 4 months after one date bitching about her BF.

Guess it depends on context.

How do you get rid of chicks you're not into? I've had a few that couldn't grasp the fact things just weren't mutual.

 

[Fruitbat]

How do you get rid of chicks you're not into? I've had a few that couldn't grasp the fact things just weren't mutual.

Tell them to fvck off

 

[resilient]

The window of attraction is brief in a first impression.

You're either hooked or your not as a man.

With women, they take time to assess SMV and see if they want to invest more. I suppose in my interactions, I gave them a few hoops to jump through after I didn't immediately convey an IOI in her direction at first.

Bashing the ex and bashing their frustrated OLD luck to me the opposite sex early in the convo is still weird.

Anyway, I left both sets like...

 

[John Constantine]

In my expirience when you meet a girl and you don't like her that much, they will very often notice from you glances or bodylanguage. So before you reject them verbally or friendzone them they will instant reject you. Its some Kind of ego defence for them so they dont have to admit to themselfs that they liked you somehow but you didnt. Its like when some of your buddies After got rejected says 'she is a fat/ slut / Not that pretty anyway'.
Or Some women try to rationalize low intresst from guys they like as he being gay .

I think you're right and the girls that know they're too ugly for you will instantly act b1tchy or too friendly, not flirty at all

 

[resilient]

Are these girls aware your sexual interest?

No.

They sound completely lackadaisical.

I think so...

I'm wondering if you are being lackadaisical also, and this is the general energy going around. You don't sound too bothered either in your post.

I think I was. Partly both sets were at the end of the night out and I was fading fast and knew I would have a 45 mins drive before I could catch up on sleep. Having 4-6 hours of sleep regularly kills game the fun and upbeat energy vibe I can project when I'm rested and in good spirits.

Hitting on girls that you have no interest in isn't good for the soul.

I would agree on that. There has to be an element of risk and challenge in the set to where I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone like approaching an HB8-10 and knowing full well I'll likely get blown out of the set without good delivery, body language, confidence/frame, and soundness of mind/emotions.

I think in essence, I need to examine inner game and see what's up. I'm not going to rack up plates giving off that lackadaisical vibe too often...

 

[resilient]

Good stuff @deesade!

Yeah, if my sets are boring, I'm likely being boring myself.

Next step then would be to figure out some mojo moves to get me amped up before the approach.

I don't want to slam down red bulls or energy drinks because being too hyper is immature and I don't want to look like I'm stoned or strung out either. There's got to be a balance to strike. Not too hot, not too cold.

Maybe some techno music, run/cardio, extra time spent grooming before heading out the door. Idk.

Anyway better than showing up like I rather be somewhere else, hah.

This thread helped me figure out I have some frequency/energy issues to sort out. I can't put all the blame on indifferent interactions or flaws in the other woman.

Cheers!