Originally posted by rdl99:
1)You make some good points. But it is also true that you need to get into the amusement park before you can ride the rides.
2)Your physical appearance is what is always noticed first. This is your attractiveness, your level of fitness, what you wear and how you wear it, and your height.
3)You wear nice clothes to project that you have style, class, and sohpistication. A short man wearing clothes which are not good for short guys (i.e. baggy clothes) is like wearing stripes and polkadots together. It is a turn off. You should know how to dress for your type of body.
4)Dating is like going to war. Why not use every weapon and strategy to win the war?
5)I was in no way suggesting that anyone should be ashamed of their height. I have no problem with my height and I don't weed out women by their height.
6)But the truth is that there are women out there who will shut you down right from the start unless you throw up a smoke screen so they can get to know you before they just label you as "too short".
7)In the end, it all comes down to confidence. You can have the best clothes in the world but if you don't think you are good enough, no one else will either.
I think a good example of a short guy who holds himself extremely well is Bob Costas. Look at what he wears and how he acts. He is a class act. Ditto that for Michael J. Fox.
rdl99
[This message has been edited by rdl99 (edited 07-30-2001).]
1)I assume you are saying that you first need to get the approval of the woman, whether it be you being rich, tall, good looking,etc. before you can safely go about talking your shyt and seducing. Don't say anything. I know this is what you meant. Well, the problem with this frame of thinking is that YOU are trying to win HER approval. Guess what? In case you hadn't known, this is also a form of supplication. Wanting her approval is like putting the cause of your happiness, feelings of worthiness, etc. all in the hands of the girl. If you don't pass her screen and win her approval you are unhappy and feel like a loser. If she accepts you on the initial start by your height, looks, and/or money you are relieved and can then go about seducing her. Either way you depend on HER approval before you can seduce her - or to put it in your words, "you need to get into the amusement park before you can ride the rides." By supplicating like this you are giving all your power away and putting it in her hands. What you need to do is reframe your attitude and it should be YOU screening HER, rather than the other way around. When you do this she realizes that you are the prize to be pursued and you are screening her to see if she is good enough. She sees that you are not like the typical guys that always kisses her a$$ and try to gain her approval.
2)I can only partially agree with this statement. It's true that LOOKS are the first thing that a woman will judge you by but you are placing WAY too much importance on physical appearance. In fact, so much, that you would advise people that are short to try and hide something as obvious as height on the initial encounter. What you still probably don't understand is that this is actually making things far worse than if you were to just let it be and not worry and try to hide it. How? Well, when you first go up to her with this unresolved issue with your height and you're trying to hide it, you may think that it's a pretty darn good idea because you're hoping if you manage to hide that little fact in the beginning, while at the same time if you successfully attract her then later when she realize that you are below her height standards she will hopfully overlook that since she is already attracted. So what is wrong with this? What's wrong is that you are not able to seduce/attract at your best because you are too nervous and worried about your height and what she MAY be thinking about your height, and how you can make her not notice your height untill you had attracted her enough, and to top it all off you have to think about the responses you are getting and how you should best fit your approach and attract her. You're much too worried about your height and are not able to be at your best. Your insecurity and worries are zapping away all your mental energy and confidence. The best way to go about this if you happen to be short, ugly/average looking, poor,etc. is to just not let it be an issue in your PUs. You will be more effective, less worried, more confident, and more brainpower that's needed to read her responses and fit your approach to situation. You won't be thinking for two people at the same time (ie,"I need to keep her from noticing that I'm short." "Has she noticed that I'm short." "What does she think about my height?") You may be worried for nothing, when in actuallity she may not be thinking about your height at all. She may, in fact, be thinking that your too ugly or too fat, or whatever! So, it's no use making it an issue. You only end up screwing yourself. If you still think that looks are SOO important consider what Maniac High once wrote in a thread dealing with appearance. Maniac High: "I am not that particulary good looking, just soso. I am not athletic, am rather short, and have had a receding hairline since I turned 20. I can *DEFINATELY* say that chicks are not interested in me because of appearance! Maniac is not a handsome pretty boy...at all! But guess what? I PU and lay lots of HBs! Why? Because I dress well, and learned PU, SS, psychology, and am generally a fun person to be around.. I know how to manipulate a chick to make her feel the right way (and appearance is just one way to do this, but a minor way only), by how I act, touch, say ..and I make her want me!" end quote
3)I agree that more guys need to learn to dress better. Hey, it's fine to dress well, and make an effort to look your best. In fact, it's encouraged that you should dress well and take care of yourself. If dressing well will give you a bit of an edge then you should go for it. Just realize that you can only go so far with maximizing your looks. You still need to learn the various aspects of PU such as the right attitude, how to talk to a chick to make her feel positive emotions, etc. It starts becoming a problem when a person places more importance on physical appearance rather than the mental aspects of seduction. Why would someone who has been exposed to all the information in these seduction web sites, choose to regress back into their old AFC ways AFTER learning that appearance is not so important in the long run, that poeple can work around their short-comings, that even with looks, fame, and money you still need to make the woman feel positve emotions? Because a person that thinks external things are seriously necessary to get a disirable chick is precisely what a AFC is. He relies on money, looks, fame, status to try and get 'lucky.' Because that's what an AFC relies on: Luck. Hopefully, the right car, the right look will grab a girl's attention and occasionally if the guy happens to be a girl's physical type he may get laid and he gets 'lucky', because that's all it is, luck. Now, a few will stumble upon these web sites and their eyes are open to the truth and they not only learn of the reasons behind their mistake but far better methods for attracting women. Methods that doesn't rely on luck. Methods that give consistant results. Now, why would someone choose to go back to an outdated model which relies on luck. Hmmm. Perhaps, they really haven't learned anything or is just listening to too many bad advice. Appearance can only take you so far. In the end you still need to know how to get to a woman's emotion. Brief example, in my AFC days I had a number of HBs attracted to me just by my appearance alone. Of course, being uneducated then, I had no clue how to get to their emotions and eventually their attraction for me died. You see, having the right look for a particular woman will only get you through the door through which you have to be able to give her positive fellings. Forget about your hangups and focus on more important things like demonstrating personality and learning to talk in a way to get to her emotions (capture and lead her imagination.)
4)I agree that you should learn everything you can and use everything you can. This includes learning to weed out bad advice from the good ones so that you don't end up in a mess. Catch my hint? BTW, you only date women you are already sleeping. I know there are others that has already said this and for very good reason. What typically happens when you date a woman is that you end up getting no pu$$y, getting LJBFed, at the same time you had spent all that time, money, and attention and her, and WHAT did YOU get?! Nothing! Wise people give this advice to prevent you from getting used and dumped by the chick. Which is what typically happens. A chick 'dates' a clueless AFC and uses him for free rides, free dinners, etc. and dumps and LJBF him when she finds a guy that is her type or a PUA comes along and takes her on an emotional high, one after another.
5)I wonder if you realize by now, why I don't believe you. Could it be what you wrote on your first post? Gee, ya think?
6)That's right keep rationalizing. Keep making up reasons to fail and you will rarely disappoint yourself.
Frankly, I'm tired and hungry from all this writing. I don't see the point in continuing.
