Some thoughts on DJing and the Board

[Slickster]

The term “DJ” on this forum was chosen because of the famous womanizer. To me people get so caught up in this idea of being a “DJ” or defining what it is to be a “DJ“ or how a "DJ is real man". Getting laid, self improvement, being a player, being a ladies man, etc. All those arguments about DJ vs. Player, LTRs vs. being a DJ, Getting married vs. being single, etc are all just garbage. What it all comes down to is SUCCESS with women. So throughout this post I’ll use “DJ” alot but what I really mean is success with women.


Some Thoughts on DJing and the Board.


Every DJ needs a surfboard. Chicks dig surfers. They also go for musicians. So pick yourself up a guitar too. Soon you’ll be a rock star and become rich and famous. Then you buy an airplane. Because chicks love pilots. Your also gonna need a fast car because you love to race around. Funny, chicks seem to go for guys with hot cars. What do surfers, musicians, pilots and race car drivers have in common?

First of all, they’re all a little crazy. They’re all a little dangerous. And they’re a little bit wild.

Most of all, they have passion!!! For something. ANYTHING!!! Enough passion that they are all guys who would be loving life whether they had a woman with them or not.

Its that simple guys! I’m not telling you to go kill yourself in the waves or drag race your car. Just find a passion and go for it. Then.....FORGET ABOUT CHICKS!!!

Ever hear this story? Guy needs a girl. Guy can’t get a girl as desperately as he tries. Guy channels this energy into his computer one day and finds this website. Guy does a lot of reading. Learns a ton of great stuff. Guy goes out and busts out the DJ! on some chick. Chick disses him and Guy’s ego is hurt. Guy comes back to his website hide out and talks about his experiences with others just like him. Posts like “She flaked” Guy decides self-improvement is the answer so he spends all his energy to become a better guy. Guy figures he’s there but for some reason still can’t get a chick. Comes back to the board to post some more crap about how he’s having troubles with women. Or how women are all evil. Or some other negative garbage. Its a big circle of pain.

Its all there in the DJ bible and repeated all over this forum every day. Over and over and over again. Guys who are desperate for chicks - Don’t get chicks. Yet the posting of failures and girl trouble and asking the same questions again and again goes on and on which can only mean one thing. The guys aren’t getting it!
The story above gets told here everyday!

I’m sure the people who started this forum and who have been around here when the name “Don Juan” was selected never dreamed how big this whole thing about being a DJ would become. I’m also pretty sure they never intended the Discussion forum to become a place where Guys whined about their chick problems either.

When you think of it that way doesn’t the whole “Don Juan Discussion Forum” thing seem like the most AFC thing going. You see 90% of the posting around here deals with Guy trying to get chicks and having problems doing so. The most un-DJthing a Guy can do is hang out with some other guys and talk about their girl troubles. So in a sense the Board becomes a never ending circle of anything but DJism. Its becoming the AFC Discussion forum! Which is why you’ll find very few DJ’s posting on this forum. Its a waste of time posting anything worthwhile as it gets swallowed up by a sea of AFC garbage.

You can’t come here and expect to learn a ton of stuff and transform yourself into a DJ overnight. Much of the information you find will help you a great deal initially but its not going to be in the form of “Guy getting chicks” right away. Its like getting rich. It usually takes a while.

This is why you just can’t turn “DJ”ing on like a switch. You have to live it each and every moment. The chicks won’t be flocking right away. But don’t panic. If you build it they will come. The message is to change your attitude. Forget about all the nonsense in between.

Its a game and a game you play for life. You travel in a circle of people. Even if you are in a big city you pass by many of the same people everyday. Your friends, your girlfriends, your friends girlfriends, your co-workers, the video store girl (I love the video store girl!) They are all females you interact with everyday. Over the years your relationships with all of these people will change. Girlfriends become friends, friends girlfriends become girlfriends . What I’m getting at is that you have an ever growing circle of women around you everyday of your life and when you become a DJ its not about moves and tactics and techniques. Over time these chicks and their friends and their friends (get it?) all come to see you as a “potential” by you projecting your DJness on them.

Notice I said “potential?” That’s right all of these women are potential girlfriends, f-buddies, wives whatever you want. There is no such thing as “Nexting” a chick. Nexting is just a ploy for guys to help with their poor ego's when they fail. "Nexting" is the mosts un-DJ idea around here. There is no "next" They all just become “Laters” You never know what is going to happen so don’t burn bridges.

Some people say you can’t be a DJ if you are in a long term relationship or have a girlfriend. That’s crap.
I HAVE a girlfriend and I still chat with the video store girl, cute coworkers, friends, and new cute chicks I meet everyday. I consider them all “Laters” and I treat them that way. I’m sure I can list a dozen or more potential women who at this very moment show me signs of high interest. I would have my pick if I so pleased. The reason for this is because I’ve spent literally years impressing and attracting these women. Through no real effort of my own directly. I live as a DJ. Through friendships, relationships, etc. it always comes out. Over time the attraction comes. And the funny thing is, it spreads from her, to her friends etc.

When I stated how I could have my pick of a dozen women right now I wasn’t lying. However stick me in a room full of strangers with a few hotties mixed in and I wouldn’t be the guy having the choice of who am I going to f*ck tonight. I’ve had my moments but its not usually like that. My point being is that success in this game is a life long project. By living with passion and purpose and living as a DJ the chicks will follow. You will literally be surrounded by options. You don't have to be a "player" or ever go out looking for chicks. There are too many around already.

Once more. You don’t turn your “DJ” on and off when you encounter a chick. It is with you always. Turning it “on” is seen as trying too hard and is a major turn-off. In fact there is no “On” when it comes to DJing. There are no tactics and techniques that can assure success. This is the single most misunderstood idea on this Board. Trying to “DJ” a chick is destined for failure. Because “trying” to get her isn’t how it works. She chooses you! You are just being yourself! You slip into her life, her head, and her bed without any effort at all.

Sorry this got so long winded.

In summary. The forum is being bogged down with nonsense. The obsessive posting of garbage and dwelling on the idea of getting a chick in your life is counter-productive to your goals. This game takes time. Next time you start a new thread ask yourself if this is something a real “DJ” would be writing or asking or worrying about.

The dwelling, obsessing, the worrying, the “trying” to hard is exactly why so many fail or lack success.

The game is sooo simple!

Get yourself a passion.
Get yourself a surfboard.




P.S. Mods: I'm posting this in a couple of forums hoping for some
different discussions. Hope thats okay.

 

[WestCoaster]

You would be correct ...

... yes, get your self a passion, or two, or three. Something that revolves outside of women. And yes, this board often turns into a whine-fest of guys who can't understand why women dissed them. Usually the answer to the problem is because they're women, they're illogical, they don't know what they're doing, they need labotomies, etc. No reason to analyze it.

That said, let's all be thankful this site/board are here.

Go to Barnes & Noble, Borders, etc. ZERO books on DJism or a form of it. Turn on the TV: ZERO shows or behavior on DJism. Turn on the radio: filled with AFC songs.

We're bombarded with the message that men should be wimps on a daily basis. (Latest commerical for the TV show "Vegas" has a guy going on one knee to ask a woman to marry him; latest Oprah commerical has a thing on the most romantic guys.)

I'm as bad as anyone in coming here pleading for answers and at times this board goes south (but not as bad as the main board).

I'm just glad it's here, otherwise Hollywood/Oprah/Music industry and women win in their battle to control men.

 

[NewMan]

Can you blame them?

Can you blame the guys that come here looking for answers? we all did it didn't we?

Your point is well taken though - it's not something you just switch on. Like anything it comes in stages - it's not an overnight thing - but stick with it and eventually it will hit.

Look - not matter who we are we are only blessed with so much - be it looks, smarts, charisma - whatever.

You can only go so far - but they DJ way is learning to live your life your way - on your terms. Fvck chasing chicks who are beatches - or who wouldn't give you the time of day - or who are flakes.

We are all taking the power back - And it feels fvcking good.

 

[ShortTimer]

While I generally agree with your post I think you got this part only half right:

What do surfers, musicians, pilots and race car drivers have in common?... Most of all, they have passion!!! For something. ANYTHING!!! Enough passion that they are all guys who would be loving life whether they had a woman with them or not.

Uh... no. Let me explain: There is one thing above all others I have a passion for and that is a passion about ideas. I love to learn and think about new and / or complex things. I buy and read books by guys who are centuries dead because I think it's fun. The last book I read was "the Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius; you know that dead Roman Emperor. I read Plato's Republic and other dialogs because I thought they were interesting.

I have a passion for such things, and let me tell you that I've never met a woman who gave two ****s about any of it. Even the most intellectual women I've met (who don't look like men) get about as spiritual as a daily horoscope.

Anyhow, my point is this: it's not that the pilot, rock star, or surfer have a passion about anything, it's that they have a passion about something that women think is sexy. What those professions have in common is some element of excitement on a physical or primal level.

I about blew a load when I saw that Linksys makes this for a reasonable price; how many chicks do you think would get excited over that? Let me answer for you: none.

There is more of an "action" element to what you've named; it's not JUST the passion these guys have.

This is a bit off topic but...

So why don't I just pick up a hobby like one you've given? Why not become an action guy? Here's why: because I don't think any of those things are actually very exciting. I think it's because I'm broken or just wired different or something. Agian, let me explain:

When people go to amusement parks or 6 Flags or whatever they will get on the rides and have fun and scream etc. etc. etc. For me, I'm about bored to death. Some people say it's because I'm a stick in the mud; but there is something more to it than that and it has to do with roller coasters.

Warning: I'm about to reveal a disturbing element to my psychology here.

I don't think roller coasters are exciting, at all. Why don't I think they are exciting you ask? I don't think they are exciting because my life is not in jeopardy, what I mean is: the danger isn't REAL.

Call me a crack baby if you will, but I've been seriously thinking about joining the U.S. Army so that I can sign up for some combat role. I don't know what the age limit they have for accepting Rangers, but if the current law enforcement job I'm after doesn't come through my back up plan involves getting shot at in a foreign land.

The problem is, these other things people find exciting just aren't to me. It's like I just can't... uh... feel except when things get real extreme (or geeky).

Well, this has gone far enough off topic.

 

[WestCoaster]

Well, you're right ST

Some people have a thrill gene that they need to do something exciting all the time. I think one of my friends has this. He gets juiced changing lanes real fast in his Porsche (that bores me to tears), he's got to go down the toughest ski runs and so forth. Always had this. However, his marriage is in the sh-tter so I wouldn't trade his thrill gene for my fairly sedate attitude any day.

The interesting thing about the thrill seekers is they cannot keep it going. If all you want to do is score incredibly shallow bimbos, be thrilling. If you're looking for something deeper, don't worry about putting your life on the line in the army just to get some stupid thrill.

I, too, would rather meet a gal who can talk on several different levels intellectually, spiritually, emotionally. Let's face it, if you get married or live with someone, you're not going to be skiing down the Alps 24/7, you're going to be with a person and you better be able to converse and connect.

Sadly, you're right: Most women's spirituality is akin to a horoscope; and unfortunately, in the U.S. their intellectual level rarely rises above a Danielle Steele novel. Emotionally? The fact that they can't wait to bed-down guys who hit and/or yell at them is all you need to know.

Sense of humor? I have a theory that most women always say they want a guy with a sense of humor because they don't have one (though the funniest person on this board is a woman ). Look at comedians, most are guys and the women comedians only talk about how men scr-w them over. Men comedians talk on a variety of subjects.

So there you have today's 21st century woman: Usually passes the eye-ball test, but fails the other tests in spirituality, emotion, humor, and intellectualism. Sad.

Find a librarian with a sense of humor and who becomes a goddess when she takes off her glasses!

 

[NewMan]

Part of a DJ is talking about being a man...

Part of that is testosterone - thrill seeking is part of excitement - it's part of being male and man.

Women love that - they love men that ACT.

I wrote something like this in the tips section - about how I recently have been dirt biking - and how it's changed my view on things.

 

[GirlCrazy]

A couple weeks ago I went to Knott's with a group of friends. We rode all the fun rides, X-celerator, supreme scream, boomerang.

Only the men went on any of the rides! The women just stood off to the side and waited for us (or went shopping).

Women want to be with adventurous guys, but they're total wimps when it comes to doing anything adventurous themselves!

Get yourself a surfboard.

...or motorcycle. The best thing about a bike is that there's no room on the back for her c0ckblocking friends

So there you have today's 21st century woman: Usually passes the eye-ball test, but fails the other tests in spirituality, emotion, humor, and intellectualism. Sad.

Agreed. It's time for men to put their collective foot down and demand more quality!

 

[Genghis Juan]

I completely agree with Slickster's analysis of this site. There is alot of negativity and immaturity on the main board. However, you must understand that newbies come here to learn. So, initially thier postings are going to be asking questions and giving field reports of their failures. Failures hurt, especially at first, but after awhile, one progresses, learns from one's mistakes and stops posting about failures and errors because the answers that would have been normally provided by the experienced DJ's on this board become internalized.

In my case, in the beginning (the summer of last year and a few months thereafter), my posts were very inexperienced and pathetic. Asking trivial questions on how could I know if a girl is interested in me, or why didn't she call, or what is her interest level.

However, due to the DJ Bible, and the assistance of the more experienced DJ's on this board (Westcoaster, New Man, Slickster, Cloon, and Water Tiger), I already know the answers; I can hear them in my head. My confidence is growing (albiet slowly).

I think field reports are excellent, regardless of the complexity of the issue or the experience (or lack thereof) of the poster. It shows us all that you are out there, taking the shots and hits and picking your azz back up, and going back in there. The reports may be negative, but you cannot knock a poster for getting out there and trying. Knock a poster for a negative, baseless thread who obviously isn't trying.

The central theme I think to DJ'ism is that you must LOVE life and have a full life. Success, however measured, must be obtained and observed. Constantly increasing your social circle is a virtuous circle. Once women see that you are both, active, positive, successful (both life-wise and socially-with other girls especially), you will become desirable. Thus, the point of this board is telling people, not only to get a life, but make it active, well-rounded and keep making friends and working on your social skills and conintuously improving yourself in all aspects of life. That will lead not only to success with women, but perhaps success in your career and other aspects of life.

 

[WestCoaster]

So right! Demand quality.

It's time for men to put their collective foot down and demand more quality! [/B]

Whenever I go to a big box store or the grocery store I'm truly stunned at the respectable looking/classy guys getting pulled around by enormous, mean women. It's mind boggling.

The deal is women are controlling the sexual appetites of men. Guys (see the term AFC) get so desparate they jump at anything. I swear to God, lately it seems men are whining more about the biological (marriage) clock than women. They HAVE to get married, they MUST get married, they NEED kids. Hello, is there a MAN in the house?

If men demanded quality from women we would have more intelligent, spiritually and emotionally connected women. Instead much of the male species is settling for the soap opera queen.

As long as women are controlling the sexual appetites, they have the upper hand.

Demand more from women, demand more from yourself!

* Just a note, I'm as bad as many of the guys I've been talking about. I've only demanded more since I found this site. No matter how bad the message boards get, remember there's still the DJ Bible and great articles from the main page. As baseball DJ reminded us, it's the only source of correct information out there.

 

[ShortTimer]

Re: Well, you're right ST

Originally posted by WestCoaster
The interesting thing about the thrill seekers is they cannot keep it going. If all you want to do is score incredibly shallow bimbos, be thrilling. If you're looking for something deeper, don't worry about putting your life on the line in the army just to get some stupid thrill.

Well that wouldn't be about doing something for a bimbo, that would be doing something so I could kill people and get a way with it.



j/k

 

[Big Pappy]

There is no "next" They all just become “Laters” You never know what is going to happen so don’t burn bridges.

- Slickster


I like this part.

 

[ShortTimer]

Re: So right! Demand quality.

Originally posted by WestCoaster
As long as women are controlling the sexual appetites, they have the upper hand.

Ok, so how do we de-addict men from the drug of a woman's body? From childhood on we are bombarded with images of women's sexual power and it becomes like herion to most men. Warren Ferrel did a good analysis of the situation in this book but there doesn't really seem to be a good way to get me to not bow down to that power.

Well, now that I think about it... women's sexual power comes from the fact that they are seen as sexual objects. Those objects are a more fantasy / conceptual / airbrushed ideal then they are what a real woman looks like. If these women were instead presented as people then I don't think their power could hold us; or at least not be so strong.

 

[Chrispy]

Excellent post.

The thing about picking a hobby or whatnot is that YOU are doing something that defines you, and that energizes you. Women see that in you, and want to know why. They want to be part of your positive aura of energy and excitement, too. You become empowered because you decide if you want to let her in your little circle of attractive energy!

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Slickster
Then you buy an airplane. Because chicks love pilots.

wahahaha...just did my first solo as a matter of fact. not for the chicks but for me after thinking about it for 10 fvcking years. if/when i take a chick up and her heart pounds 1/10 of what mine did on the solo, i'll be in.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
There is one thing above all others I have a passion for and that is a passion about ideas. I love to learn and think about new and / or complex things. I buy and read books by guys who are centuries dead because I think it's fun. The last book I read was "the Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius; you know that dead Roman Emperor. I read Plato's Republic and other dialogs because I thought they were interesting.

I have a passion for such things, and let me tell you that I've never met a woman who gave two ****s about any of it. Even the most intellectual women I've met (who don't look like men) get about as spiritual as a daily horoscope.

Anyhow, my point is this: it's not that the pilot, rock star, or surfer have a passion about anything, it's that they have a passion about something that women think is sexy. What those professions have in common is some element of excitement on a physical or primal level.

I about blew a load when I saw that Linksys makes this for a reasonable price; how many chicks do you think would get excited over that? Let me answer for you: none.

There is more of an "action" element to what you've named; it's not JUST the passion these guys have.

You've missed my point Shorty

Its not about which passion you have its the fact that you have one. Sure chicks are attracted to sexy passions but thats not the point I'm trying to make.

Women are attracted to guys who have other stuff going on in their lives besides women. Guys who don't need a woman in their life. Guys who are loving life just as they are.

Why? Because the happiness of 90% of the guys out there is dependant on women. Sure women might not be attracted to your passion about learning at first but if you were a scientist devoted to your work I'm sure things would be different.

You see what I'm getting at? Your devotion to your passion displays your indifference to women. Which is very attractive!

Demonstrating your passion to new women isn't a recipe for instant attraction. Demonstrating your indifference is. You separate yourself from the hordes of other guys who only have pVssy on their minds. This confuses the women and they need to know why you are different. This is where the passion comes in.

Cheers

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Well, I have found this site great and I'm only about a 1/4 of the way there. I realise it takes time, but I'm getting results already. I'm learning that which was denied me in my youth - how to be a man. I'm getting more action than I was and I'm having a ball doing it. Even though I'm only a 1/4 of the way there, I realise I need patience, but I'm having fun exploring my newly found 'powers' if you will. Very liberating and I know the passion will come out of it for hobbies, women, and life in general.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Re: So right! Demand quality.

Originally posted by WestCoaster
[B No matter how bad the message boards get, remember there's still the DJ Bible and great articles from the main page. As baseball DJ reminded us, it's the only source of correct information out there. [/B]

You forgot to mention "as well as PuertoRican_Lover's advice"!!

 

[Marcopolo]

hmmm..I am a pilot, not commercially(but have a commercial certificate as well as a flight instructor), I do it as a hobby. I have been a pilot since I was 18 and I dont feel that it has had an effect one way or the other in my success/failure rate with women. I got my license the summer before my freshman year and thought I would be a hit with the ladies because of it -and it turned out not to matter. The majority were too afraid to even go up with me without a lot of persuasion. But fresh out of high school I was still quite the AFC then, probably even a BAFC. I have also been skiing since age 4 and was on the university ski team-I don't think this has done anything for me in the way of women either, although I have met some hotties going up on ski lifts, but not as a result of being impressed by my skiing ability. What does seem to work for me is that I like to draw and paint. Some women seem to be intrigued by this more so than by my "action hobbies".

 

[NewMan]

Were missing the point a little now.

Different chicks like different things.

So Not all chicks will dig you if you say, surf.

Look at it this way. There are probably a ton of hot chicks that hang out at those surfing competitions. But you probably would catch them at a NASCAR track - although there will be lot's of hotties there to.

I'd take a little further though.

Chicks love power. Or more importantly they love the thought of being with someone that has power.

Example. How many times do you see hot girls hanging off of bouncers at clubs?

It's exactly a dangerous job. I mean - I know I can fvck up the majority of bouncers - but still you get my point. It's true that many girls are just using these guys to get into the club - but I can guarantee that these guys get laid on a number of occasions because of their position.

I'd say it's the same with the ski example above.

And there countless others to.

DJ is a way of life - it's about living life on your terms. But at the same time you should be looking arounbd you at the oportunities that present themselves. Getting women is also a work in progress.

 

[Slickster]

All due respect Realnezz but.....

I can see where you're coming from but you have to realize the reason why you can't figure this site out. It is probably because you are alot further ahead in this game than most people here.

Focusing on women and pickups and on macking and being a player isn't going to help a guy who is just starting out. The average joe here doesn't have the skills or even the mindset for this game yet.

Most guys here fall in love with every hot chick they talk to! This leads to obsessive behaviour which just drags these guys down. You see these obsessive/oneitis posts everyday. So telling a guy to just focus on women and his game, doesn't really work. They focus so much on chicks and trying to get laid by anyone that they end up being a bunch of pVssy-crazed idiots.

You picking up what I'm laying down? Most guys are so desperate about finding a chick that they literally repel women with their neediness.

The message of this post is to GET A LIFE! Get a PASSION! This in turn will give some of these guys the confidence and balls required to be the Mack/Player which you describe.