Some stuff I've learned, been ahwile

[gonnamakeit2]

Hey everyone, I found this forum some years ago, I was a teenager then and I haven't been on this website in at least 3 or 4 years. I have a hell of a lot to learn but since finding this place I lost my virginity and have had some bits of success with women. Here's a couple things I learned (coming from a guy who started out with absolutely 0 social skills and the worst anxiety imaginable) thats why I think some of what I have learned could be useful, I went from as bad as can get to about average.


It doesn't matter how long it takes: This is one of the most important things to always keep in mind, it is good to have some goals in mind but simply put everyone is starting from a different point and has different strengths and weaknesses, it took me so much longer that everyone around me to get some decent results (3-4 years of dedicated work to get my first kiss and first date where it was just me and the girl). Looking back that was such a amazing experience and I enjoy any success I have with women so much more for it having taken so long. It was so entirely worth it. Just aim to enjoy the process as much as you can, it doesn't matter how long it takes.


Have fun, even if it isn't social: Have something outside of going for girls or whatever your goal is. Find a hobby that is just for fun, it doesn't need to be a passion and you don't even need to be good at it. It could be yoga, math, drawing, cooking, bird-watching or just taking a nice walk in the park another great one is learning even the basics of a new language.
Progress isn't linear, self improvement is great having a passionate goal or a passionate job is great but there will be times where it seems like non of your goals are going right just keep working at it and let success come, take the time to enjoy those fun hobbies or activities that have no goal whatsoever, they will bring you pleasure and make those ups and downs of pursuing what you want much easier to deal with.

Start small This is a great help to many people: If you are terrified of approaching start small, this doesn't just go for when you are new, remember progress isn't linear, and emotions change.

What do I mean by start small? Say you go out, to challenge yourself, and have a 5 minute conversation with 3 hot girls at your local mall. You go there you are petrified, you walk around for a hour and go home.

Alternatively, at the mall, you are petrified to talk to that hot girl, do not go home empty handed, do whatever you can.

Too scared to talk to the girl?
Say hi to her

Too scared off that?
Ask her for directions

Too scared to ask her for directions?
Ask a middle age lady for directions

Too scared of that?
Just walk into clothing stores where the workers will say hi to you and just answer them back.

Can't do that either?
Just try and smile and look friendly.

Don't go home empty handed just do something small to make things a tiny bit better. Weather you are advanced and have approached 1000 girls or this is your first time, sometimes you won't feel like it or be scared. This is fine. Just start the process.

Start by smiling
Then walk in the store
Say hi to the workers
(feeling nervous)
3 more times
(feeling better)
Ask a old lady for directions
Ask a hot girl for directions
Talk to a hot girl ect. Depending on your experience you might hit a different level, just be cool with this process, don't make the mistake I did a million times walking around for hours doing nothing, you'll have your good days and your bad days. Even if on your bad day you can only manage to ask some middle aged ladies for directions. That work you put in on your worst day will add up over time and improve your confidence and general social skill.

Additionally it will get you comfortable with this process and more and more consistent in your ability to "get in the zone" and just be a social confident person in general.

Sorry for likely poor organization and writing, planning on more to come. Let me know if anything doesn't make sense, I used to post here as gonnamakeit years ago, just trying to see if I can offer any of my experiences that may be useful to people who were in the position I was in.

 

[skinnyguy]

You're awesome bro. Here are my goals for the next four years:

Move to TX
Get engaged
Look more built
Buy a nice house

None of these I will be able to achieve in the next year. But if I achieve two of them I'll be happy.

 

[gonnamakeit2]

You're awesome bro. Here are my goals for the next four years:

Move to TX
Get engaged
Look more built
Buy a nice house

None of these I will be able to achieve in the next year. But if I achieve two of them I'll be happy.

Thanks man, thats awesome. I am working on getting more built too. I am naturally pretty skinny and still am not too built but probably put on 12-15 pounds or so.

One of the quickest ways to get more built is this: Lift heavy with the basic exercises, then after you lift heavy, do high repetitions with a medium to light weight for whatever muscle you want to get bigger the most.

This works especially well with the arms. So say you do a workout like 5x5 from www.stronglifts.com or change it to 3x5 (some people respond better to less volume. Then finish off the workout 3-5 sets of tricep press downs and bicep curls alternating between the two for about 15-20 reps per exercise per a set.

The aim is to get a pump, your bicep especially gets a tight slightly painful engorged feeling.

Websites like stronglifts.com recommend avoiding curls and only lifting for low reps. Lifting heavy is great and important but don't get too caught up in one training ideology. Bodybuilders do higher reps for a reason, combining the basics with pumping up the arms and shoulders for example is a great way to look bigger (take the same physique and make the arms and shoulders 10% bigger and it will look much much better due to proportions and creating a "v taper").

My current program is this, simple.

3x10 front squat (add weight when I hit 10 reps on all sets)
2x10 one arm dumbell row and dumbell press (same system to add weight) (alternating between the two)
3x15 machine row and overhead press (same system)(many peoples shoulders respond better to higher reps and rows for high reps are great for shoulder stability and posture)
2x10 ab machine, back extension (alternating)
I end a set when I need to pause after a rep. So all sets are non stop with no pauses and kept with good form, so I am always pushing it hard but not ever losing form or pushing so hard that I rest during a set. The aim is to keep the muscle constantly working.
3x15 dumbell curl and tricep push down (alternating)

This program is working really well for me, but do what works for you, the basic principle is mid low- mid reps (5 reps could well work for you too on the basic exercises). I am more intermediate so changed to higher reps. Do that for 3 basic things a leg movement, a push and a pull. Then do some core work followed by higher reps for arms. It's working pretty well. Eat a lot of protein, and eat veggies of course.