Some of this is true

[Cherry]

Hi,

I think this is a wonderful web site, I have only ever visited a few times but today I finally got the nerve up to post something.

I have been given the run around by a lot of men and have always wondered why the best guys are horrible and the worst guys are so lovely. This site does go a long way to explaining that to me.

Most of you seem to be fairly intelligent men and your posts reflect sincerity and thought. The jerks that you all talk about are not likely to be in here, they are more likely to be out with their friends drinking and cheating on their current girlfriends.

I am at a stage where I don't know what to do anymore. I had my heart crushed at 22 by the love of my life (we were meant to married but he cheated on me and left me), and after that I went into a depression that spiralled out of control. I had an affair with my friends boyfriend because I thought that that was obviously what all men wanted. He was an alpha male and he snapped my ego a little further. Then another man came into my life and everything was okay for a week or two before he physically hurt me. Then, I accepted money for sex from a man who had been hitting on me all night, one night. I needed to feel desired and to have some form of control.

I blame a lot of my issues on being sexually abused as a child but what I want is a very strong man who will just love me, support me and care for me. I need a strong man.

It seems that men do fit into two categories, those being strong and AFC, but why are the strong men always such horrible people who just can't wait to break my heart? Can't a man be strong and kind?

I think you guys are wonderful trying to help each other out and I hope all these tips from other men are helpful for you. I know that attraction is physical initially but then, for women, it is more emotional. When a man is all emotional it really freaks me out but when I get the strong ones who are not emotional, they hurt me. Why is that?

Anyway, just an initial hello to introduce myself and to give you some information from the enemy lol.

 

[Caldus]

Nice post Cherry.

Yes, so far I think this site will help me. I just joined this site tonight and have been reading several posts. The advice given here is much different than any other site I've been to and I like it so far.

I'm not sure why there aren't many strong & kind men out there either. I think what happens is that some people (like I did last year) try way too hard and they end up not being themselves. So they give off a weak vibe. In the meantime, some guys are only looking for a lay and don't give a crap about the girl otherwise but they give off this vibe of being a strong person.

I agree that physical attraction is only for the initial attraction and after that it's emotional attraction.

 

[saki]

most men that are jerks know that women want them and they are only after one thing, and that is to get in your pants. But there are nice jerks out there that will not cheat on you or physically hurt you. I am one of them but of course the good ones are always taken Just live your life and dont worry about finding a man, he will eventually come. Sorry not much advise to give but im at work and where else are you going to get help at 1 am lol!

 

[Caldus]

What is a "nice jerk"? Aren't the two opposites?

 

[saki]

Originally posted by Caldus
What is a "nice jerk"? Aren't the two opposites?

a nice jerk is a guy who has transformed himself from being nice (afc) to being in control of himself. He has self confidence and knows that he is the prize. He is not a "jerk" in the sense that he cheats on and beats women but moreless a jerk that stands his own ground and doesnt let a woman walk all over him. So he is technically still a nice guy but has jerk qualities that are not destructive. best way I can put it : )

 

[Fender]

Well, I think Cherry just summed up everything you need to know to be a succesful DJ.

A STRONG man that will love, care and support her. STRONG.

Yeh sure, be nice, be loving and be supporting (AFC qualities),
but remeber to combine the ultimate jerk quality- STRENGTH

BTW, I think the word "nice jerk" is an oxymoron. But we get the idea, dont we?

Cherry, I'm sure you'll find someone that'll be a great match for you. But first, you should make your "inside's" stronger and work on your-self before having to deal with men. Makes you happier AND more attractive.

 

[dearsappho]

Cherry - You display characteristics that many men find unpleasant. The fact you say you had your heart "crushed" suggests you carry much baggage. I dont mean to be rude here, but would any "strong man", that you say you desire, stick around only to find you were disturbed and inherently afraid of men? I think not...you are female afc...change...make it happen.

 

[Centaurion]

OMFG what the **** is up with all these females that come to these boards to ***** about everything. seriously, dont chicks have their own forums for this kinda crap. try www.girlproblems.com or something.

 

[Desdinova]

I blame a lot of my issues on being sexually abused as a child

I know that attraction is physical initially but then, for women, it is more emotional.

You're already on the road to becoming a great woman if you already understand this much about yourself. I definately recommend you continue discovering yourself as a person and a woman.

As for the great men, they're a rare find. Many on this site are working on becoming the ideal man, the man who can give what the woman wants deep down inside rather than what she says she wants.

I wish you luck on finding the man who does this for you.

 

[Kaine]

Cherry

It seems like you have a lot of baggage to let go. This is going to to affect the relationships and the men you choose negatively. Sexual abuse is psychologically very damaging, I'm glad you are aware of this as this will at least help you to make better rational observations about your own behaviour.

Before you disappear and let some of these keyboard jockeys run off and make their own assumptions and interpretations of your post.

What is YOUR definition of a strong man?

Kaine

 

[Fenderules]

good questions




and as for
Fender
Don Juan

lol man geeeeez you gotta copy my name????? lol

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

A girl can be as ignorant to her baggage as a man can to being an AFC.

 

[Black Panther®]

Originally posted by Fenderules
good questions




and as for
Fender
Don Juan

lol man geeeeez you gotta copy my name????? lol

rather my name

good post though,

its good to see a person that although its a newbie in the site aint one in real life.

Im looking forward to see you around this site some more.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah me 2.


and wuts with the guys freaking out when woman are on the site?? is that why we are not here??? to understand woman? i mean for god sakes im starting to believe most guy sare on here to simply ***** about woman because they get none. And why do they get none? Cause they freaking hate anything wiht a ***** and a pair of boobs.

 

[Alpine]

Basic stuff, if you listen to what a woman says she wants and give it her, she and you will be dissapointed.

You sign up to a girlie forum, see how they react to that.

Girls want to get involved and poke their noses in mens stuff, it's what they do.

For instance does a man want to join the women's institute? Women go to the high court to protest about 'men only Gentlemen's clubs'

Still, while women are worying about such, blokes are getting on with running the world, inventing stuff and creating wealth.

How do you spell misogynist

 

[Fenderules]

so you are so insecure that you compltely need to block woman out from what you really think? what are afriad of? what are they going to do? They can only hurt you if you let them! I could care less and if they wanna act all feminist on this site F*ck'm.


and again you give that steriotype again about women. Its the whole attitude.


did it ever occur to you that they get burned 2? And they wanna know wuts going on in a mans head. Men or logical..... we know (most of the time) what we are doing and why we feel that way. Woman can perhaps understand and AFC and then see them in real life so she then knows why she is feeling the way she does.





I think this site can help woman as much as men since woman dont know whats going on in them half the time do to high level of harmones and the great changes that occur that are not as big in men. In otherwords......they can understand themselves when perhaps they act irrational.

 

[Alpine]

Probably because you were responding to every post on the forum you didn't take the time to realise I was being somewhat tongue in cheek.

But thanks for the concern.

 

[*29*]

Whoa.

Tongue in cheek?

You gotta show me how to do that.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Fenderules
yeah me 2.


and wuts with the guys freaking out when woman are on the site?? is that why we are not here??? to understand woman? i mean for god sakes im starting to believe most guy sare on here to simply ***** about woman because they get none. And why do they get none? Cause they freaking hate anything wiht a ***** and a pair of boobs.

If you think listening to what women say will give you any more insight into how they work (understanding) you are sorely mistaken. That's the damn reason forums like this exist. They exist because many men realize that what women say generally is not reflected in how they act and choose who to date. Therefore they gather together, share experiences and insight into what women REALLY want, not what they say they want.....feedback from women here is taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Alpine]

I suspect also, some of the forum members are in fact women looking at some recent posts.

Does that make me paranoid as well as insecure?