Hey guys im from Australia I'm new to this forum.
2 and a half weeks ago i broke up with my ex girlfriend of 10mths. Started off really well amazing connection, followed all the rules no talking about the relationship or feelings and she wanted exclusivity so we did. The sex was amazing and so constant it was intense haha. A month into i started noticing that she started displaying anger problems, she's Eastern European from Lithuania, she's pretty fiery. Always Hot n Cold, sort of like you never knew what kind of mood she was gonna be in. She could be all cheery on msging and then when i got to her house she could be in the most irritable mood and NOTHING could snap her out of it. So i started to see patterns of this forming and everytime i would bring it up she would swing it back around onto me and say "Yeh i do one big bad thing (her anger) but you do alot of little things that annoy me". When i would ask what I did she would seriously stumble "I can't remember right now but you do". Her biggest problem was i didn't disclose all my flaws at the start of the relationship, she thinks im insecure, not about her leaving or cheating but apparently i brag about myself? And that i hid my smoking on my Bumble profile which was dealt with early on but continued to bring it up the whole relationship. She was seriously critical, criticising everything, her mum was exactly like that Eastern European mum. To add to that she had PMS for like 16 days a month, something I've never encountered before. Im a smart guy and i figured out where all the anger was coming from, her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses back in Lithuania and when she left her marriage 5yrs ago, she was disowned by her parents and her church and her parents specifically told her theyre siding with the church and not her. Im not religious at all, so I tried ro wrap my head around this. Anyway it seemed every month i would be in trouble for something, i would stand up to her but in the later part of relationship i grew tired of it and just went stuff it and stopped standing up to her. Eastern European women bring extreme beauty and femininity but they're extremely demanding, controlling and nothing ever seems to make them happy. We went away for 2 holidays while we were together and both times it was like a spirit took over her body and she turned into this depressed irritable angry person and would ruin the holiday but when we got back home would blame it all on me. I feel she could never notice how hard she is to deal with. The criticising hit a crescendo about a month and a bit ago and i could sense she was pulling away but the sex never dropped at all. She said she wasn't feeling it anymore but we could try n work on it. I found myself trying to give in and descalte all the time because i was tired guys at this stage, i just wanted peace. The next morning, she tried to do the whole fight n breakup routine and we decided that we would not make a decision because we were in an emotional state and would think about it. My gut told me a break up was coming. I told her i would like to think we could work it out. Anyway 3 days went past and I'd heard nothing from her. All the weeks leading up to this, my anxiety was thru the roof, i stopped going to gym so much and it was affecting everything in my life. So on the 4th day since i hadn't heard from her I'd had enough and rang her and i said "I need to honest with you, this relationship is making me sad and miserable and unfortunately i cannot continue with this relationship any longer and im im going to have to call it a day" She replied in a quiet voice "That makes things easier" "Its not that i don't think you're a good person, i just don't think you're the girl for me. Ill cherish all our our amazing moments and i wish you all the best for the future" She replied "same from me, I've gotta go" and that was that. Due to reading Robert Glovers book "No more Mr nice guy" I'm a recovering nice guy and it gave me the strength to be a better ender and and this relationhip myself.
I don't know why but I'm still struggling with my decision, maybe because it was such a rollercoaster of a relationship, she was always so intensely so up n down with emotion from her, i had suspicions of BPD and i really miss the sex.
So i have a couple of questions:
1. What do you think about the relationship?
2. How did i handle the breakup and even thou she was probably contemplating ending herself, what kind of effect did it have on her me doing a complete 180 and ending it myself?
3. Why does breaking up with these intensely sexual and emotionally unstable women hurt so much?
4. Tactically how do I handle it from here? I've stayed ghost and in NC.
5. Im back on Tinder and talking to heaps of women, but due to lockdown, how do i handle dating atm? I feel i need it to get past the pain from the break
Thanks guys, any help is much appreciated
2 and a half weeks ago i broke up with my ex girlfriend of 10mths. Started off really well amazing connection, followed all the rules no talking about the relationship or feelings and she wanted exclusivity so we did. The sex was amazing and so constant it was intense haha. A month into i started noticing that she started displaying anger problems, she's Eastern European from Lithuania, she's pretty fiery. Always Hot n Cold, sort of like you never knew what kind of mood she was gonna be in. She could be all cheery on msging and then when i got to her house she could be in the most irritable mood and NOTHING could snap her out of it. So i started to see patterns of this forming and everytime i would bring it up she would swing it back around onto me and say "Yeh i do one big bad thing (her anger) but you do alot of little things that annoy me". When i would ask what I did she would seriously stumble "I can't remember right now but you do". Her biggest problem was i didn't disclose all my flaws at the start of the relationship, she thinks im insecure, not about her leaving or cheating but apparently i brag about myself? And that i hid my smoking on my Bumble profile which was dealt with early on but continued to bring it up the whole relationship. She was seriously critical, criticising everything, her mum was exactly like that Eastern European mum. To add to that she had PMS for like 16 days a month, something I've never encountered before. Im a smart guy and i figured out where all the anger was coming from, her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses back in Lithuania and when she left her marriage 5yrs ago, she was disowned by her parents and her church and her parents specifically told her theyre siding with the church and not her. Im not religious at all, so I tried ro wrap my head around this. Anyway it seemed every month i would be in trouble for something, i would stand up to her but in the later part of relationship i grew tired of it and just went stuff it and stopped standing up to her. Eastern European women bring extreme beauty and femininity but they're extremely demanding, controlling and nothing ever seems to make them happy. We went away for 2 holidays while we were together and both times it was like a spirit took over her body and she turned into this depressed irritable angry person and would ruin the holiday but when we got back home would blame it all on me. I feel she could never notice how hard she is to deal with. The criticising hit a crescendo about a month and a bit ago and i could sense she was pulling away but the sex never dropped at all. She said she wasn't feeling it anymore but we could try n work on it. I found myself trying to give in and descalte all the time because i was tired guys at this stage, i just wanted peace. The next morning, she tried to do the whole fight n breakup routine and we decided that we would not make a decision because we were in an emotional state and would think about it. My gut told me a break up was coming. I told her i would like to think we could work it out. Anyway 3 days went past and I'd heard nothing from her. All the weeks leading up to this, my anxiety was thru the roof, i stopped going to gym so much and it was affecting everything in my life. So on the 4th day since i hadn't heard from her I'd had enough and rang her and i said "I need to honest with you, this relationship is making me sad and miserable and unfortunately i cannot continue with this relationship any longer and im im going to have to call it a day" She replied in a quiet voice "That makes things easier" "Its not that i don't think you're a good person, i just don't think you're the girl for me. Ill cherish all our our amazing moments and i wish you all the best for the future" She replied "same from me, I've gotta go" and that was that. Due to reading Robert Glovers book "No more Mr nice guy" I'm a recovering nice guy and it gave me the strength to be a better ender and and this relationhip myself.
I don't know why but I'm still struggling with my decision, maybe because it was such a rollercoaster of a relationship, she was always so intensely so up n down with emotion from her, i had suspicions of BPD and i really miss the sex.
So i have a couple of questions:
1. What do you think about the relationship?
2. How did i handle the breakup and even thou she was probably contemplating ending herself, what kind of effect did it have on her me doing a complete 180 and ending it myself?
3. Why does breaking up with these intensely sexual and emotionally unstable women hurt so much?
4. Tactically how do I handle it from here? I've stayed ghost and in NC.
5. Im back on Tinder and talking to heaps of women, but due to lockdown, how do i handle dating atm? I feel i need it to get past the pain from the break
Thanks guys, any help is much appreciated
