Some Advice for HS

SinJester

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The DJ bible is great but most of it isn’t written for people like you and me, people in high school. I have seen a few pattern in recent threads lately and I have decided to write this to help people overcome the obstacles that present themselves in high school life. It can be a scary place, are you afraid? Fear. What are you afraid of? Are you scared of rejection? Or are you really scared of the uncertainty success brings? Perhaps it what people will say? Read on my friend and remove those unnecessary obstacles from you life.

------------Rejection-----------

Most people come here with one girl they like. Just one. They think they love her and can't think about anyone else. So sad. You have to realize that you have no claim to this person. Especially if you barely know them, or worse, have barely even talked to them. It is easy to get infatuated but realize that this is just you LUSTING after her body. It isn't love or anything else. It is pure lust.

It has been proved that the human nervous system can't tell the difference of a real experiance from a vividly imagined one. So you know how you IMAGINED yourself on a sate with that hot babe? Your brain thinks it is REAL. This accounts for a lot of infatuation. The moral of the story is not to fantasize about a girl you know. It leads to infatuation. If you must make sure to fantasize about a few girls, not just one. Scrap your obsession with one girl. You can use your imagination to your advantage too.

If you are still struggling with oneitus go here and read lesson 14. It really helped me.

So now you have gotten over your oneitus you should not be worried about getting rejected... right? Take your head out your ass and realize that beautiful girls are everywhere. Don't tell yourself that all the hot ones are either sluts and *****es. It's not true. You are just trying to brainwash yourself so you don't have to try. If you think that you either don't know women very well or don't know any of these girls well enough. Or maybe you aren't 'cool' enough yet for them to give you any attention.

Once you finally wake up and see that attractive women aren't rare and aren't in short supply it should be easy to find backup girls. Hell I don't even call them that because I game them all at once. When that happens you shouldn't be afraid because you always have someone else.

Unless you are afraid of...

-----------People-------------

So many people walk around to scared to act. Why? They are shy. They walk around with a spotlight on themselves overanalyzing everything they do. "Will they think I'm cool?" they ask themselves. "Will she like me?" "Am I sitting right?" "Did I look at her too long?" You have to realize NOBODY CARES. You think people notice everything you do? You are sadly mistaken. Everyone is way to busy with heir own problems to notice everything about you. They all have their spotlight on themselves exactly like you do.

The sad truth of the matter is that you could get hit by a car and die tomorrow and in a week no one will care apart from your close friends or family. No one will remember you. Don't dwell on it for too long. Just use it to do what you want. Hell maybe if you actually go out and do something some people will care?

But are you still scared of....

-----------Gossip---------------

In high school people are going to gossip. It's a fact, and it is usually unavoidable. However don't let you hold you back. People only gossip because they have nothing more interesting going on in their own sad excuses for lives. Would you rather be the one getting gossiped about or the one gossiping? Sure they might say 'hey did you hear he got rejected by that hot chick' but it's not likely. If any guys says that well did they have the courage to go up to her? Did they ever score with her? I think not. They haven’t got sh!t on you buddy.

But imagine if you succeed. Everyone will be saying 'OMG he got with that hot chick'. The girls will look at you different. The guys will either be jealous or congratulate you and you will find newfound respect. You have to be able to deal with people putting you down. It will probably happen. They are just jealous. Don't worry about them, they aren't worth it. On the other side you will probably find some new friends from how they respect you after getting with that girl.

Most bad gossip fades in a day and gets old. Then no one cares. Let them talk. Expect fame, expect fortune, expect girls and expect rumours. That's the way of a pimp and a celebrity. Make it your way.

I know. It's all happened to me.

But maybe you still can't....

-------Get people to like you-------

This is easier then people make it out to be. All you have to do is SMILE and BE FRIENDLY.

...That's it. There is no magic formula. It is simple. Seriously how can you dislike someone who is friendly and smiling and means you no harm? The thing is people often talk about how much they hate everyone and expect to be liked. It doesn't work like that. You have to like people in order to be liked. People can pick up when you don't like them. Find something good in everyone you know. They will notice.

When you talk to someone think "I'm going to make them glad that they talked to me". That way you are sincere and the focus in on them not on you or ulterior motives. People pick up on this.

Read How To Make Friends and Influence People

Its all well and good to be ****y and funny but leave ****y out when you are talking to guys. They don't appreciate it and will think your a wanker. This doesn't mean not to be funny, outgoing and talkative. Just don't float your own boat, let others to do it for you.

Remember to NEVER talk anything bad behind someone’s back. Not only does that make you negative but it also makes you a type of person people don't like. The other person will probably find out anyway, in which case you will lose a lot of respect. If you don't say anything bad about people behind their backs it is much more likely that they will do the same to you.

Also you should know that respect and being liked are two completely different things. People that are respected might be talked about behind their back because people are scared of them, and also because they are jealous. It is definitely possible to have both though, just don't confuse them the next time you get disrespected.


So now you are likable. But are you good at...
 

SinJester

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Continued

-----Meeting People--------

If you don't go to parties, start now. I used to have a party phobia but going out changed my world and now I am happier, more popular and have more girls than I ever imagined.

Play any sports? If the answer is no then start now. It is an awesome way to meet people. I'm talking about team sports because it quickly builds bonds. If it's a sport that girls play then that gives you another chance to meet the ladies. Mixed netball is great.

Expanding your social circle to other groups can be hard. Just ask them what they are doing on the weekend and ask if you can join. Have fun with them at a party. Make them laugh. They will want you around.

But maybe you are still worrying about...


------Being Cool-----

Don't think about this ever. Coolness does not exist, it cannot be measured and is merely a perception. Sure it does have its place in any high school, but as soon as you leave you will realize how stupid it is and anything you had will be lost no matter what happens (clean slate might be good for some). Think about it. Does the cool guy worry about being cool? No he doesn't, he doesn't care about what anyone thinks of him. That's one of his secrets. You are going to recieve resistance on whatever path you choose so you might as well do whatever the fvck you want.

Another thing that is often overlooked. Think about the most popular guy in your school. Notice I said 'popular' not 'cool'. Is he nice? Friendly? Funny? Outgoing? Although social stereotypes will have us believe that the real cool people are jerks this isn't the case. Almost all of the 'coolest' guys I know are really friendly to everyone, regardless of their social status. This is why they are popular and liked.
(Note that this isn't true when talking about everyone and especially when involving the people at the very, very bottom of the chain.)

So don't worry about who you are hanging around with. Smile, have fun, and say hi to everyone you know. Doing something with anyone is better than sitting at home on the computer. Fvck your 'image', just go out and have FUN, while you can. High School doesn't last for long, so do you want to be out having fun or inside worrying about your image? Associate with everyone, not just those 'cooler' than you, but make sure you hang with them too.
(This did so much for my life. As soon as I realized no one cares and everyone just wants to have fun I started to as well. I hang with people that aren't as cool as me and I damn well enjoy it. Yet despite that my popularity has sored. I am not bragging I am just trying to illustrate a point.)


Ok sounds good. But maybe your still getting held back by...

----Your Friends----

Keep them close regardless of who they are. However remember that they don't want you to change. They might not like you hanging out with other people and getting cooler why they sit on their fat asses. Take them with you if you can, otherwise leave them behind but tolerate them because they’re only being human, and deserve your love for it. Don't forget them with the height you achieve, but NEVER, EVER let them hold you back. You might just find one day that why you were worrying what they thought they were out improving their lives and now you are left behind. Don't let that happen.

----And Remember----

There is so much on this board about self-improvement. However something I learnt the hard way is NOT TO EVER STOP GAMING GIRLS AND IMPROVING SOCIAL SKILLS. You might be working on having a muscular body and being able to play sick guitar solos but at the end of the day you could end up a social mess. On the other side do not just devote all your time to partying and getting girls. You will end up shallow, less of a man than you could be and too dependant on girls for you confidence and happiness. Have a balance. Do both.

----Conclusion-----

Wow that took a long time. I hope it helps someone. I really wrote it from the huge amount of stuff I've learnt lately and I wrote it as something I wish I seen a few years ago. You might notice that I stray away from just getting a girl here but there is more than enough information about that. It isn't the real problem for a lot of people here, but I hope people don't disregard this post because they are looking for a quick fix to get their oneitus. That doesn't lead to happiness. I see it all around me. It's sad, so many guys brought quivering to their knees by any pretty girl, or just the one that they have already dedicated their lives to without really knowing.

High school can either be the best time of your life or the worst. It is completely up to you. Do you want to look back with fond memories of regret? It seems big now but when you leave it will seem infinitely small and all your 'popularity' or lack of it will disappear. So don't let anything hold you back and do whatever you want. Make the most of it.

Because you ARE the MAN.
 

Yookiwooki

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Great post,

Right now, I'm realizing that my life is starting to change drastically. Im 17 and this is a time of great change for everyone. However, somehow I feel that I'm a compeltley different person.

When I look at my life recently, I see that I'm no longer so worried about being rejected, being cool, or having people gossip about me. Im doing things socially that I would never dare to try only months ago.

I think the fear that I expressed in recent posts is from this change. When I look at myself, I no longer reconize myself as I was before. I'm a better, happier person now, thats for sure, but just the shock you get when you see a stranger in the mirror is really jarring.
_____

btw great sig -- mabye you should change your name to CynicalJester haha
 

SinJester

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Wow thanks guys. It's good to know it helps some people and that other can relate to it. Feedback makes you feel like writing these things is worth it.

@john paul: Glad you liked those sections, because I went through a lot of times where I had to deal with that and I coulnd't find anything written about it.

@ExcelNPrevail: I agree ;)

@Yookiwooki: I feel exactly the same brother.

@Spiff: Possibly the best complement I could get :p

Pimp on fellow DJs
 

LostAndConfused

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:up: to this post man!

I really think they should make a secret guidebook...or maybe not secret...called "How to survive HS" for any freshmen interested in being a DJ and has stuff like you said in it :D .
 

mpimpin

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Excellent Post. I'm gonna copy the link into one of the Stickies
 

DonAlan456

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Great post
almost as good as my roger federer opener... :up:
but seriously nice work man
 

farlenrejorano

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Great post man!

I've decided to change before time runs out, I'm in my 2nd year of high school and despite I've improved a lot in 2007, there's much work to be done yet.
 
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