Social Proof With Ex's Circle ?

[Social Engineering]

From DJ to AFC?!!

What happend did i just let it all slip?

I was recently dating a beautiful girl. We clicked, everything was fine for 9 months. Perfection and utter bliss. I have never been happier with a female....

How did i get here and how did it end?

Me 25
Her 18

I was seeing SEVERAL girls all non exclusive till one just caught my eye, but i knew it could be a problem. Her age. Shes 18 and .. yes still in highschool (GOD I KNOW WHAT WAS I THINKING). Her looks just threw me off and how well we meshed. So 9 months of insane sex, massages, fun and the world in my hand.

I notice her Interest Levels dropping. My schedule and dedication to what i love to do. See i hope someday to take my gym habbits to a professional level (crazy dream but i have heart). I work 3rd shift 8pm-6:30am 4 days a week then i sleep all day. Then going to the gym is like having a part time job.

Straight from the Animals Mouth

If you train 2 hours a day, five days a week, that is 520 hours of your free time every year that is spent at the gym instead of with your family or significant other. Tack on another hour preparing your food each day, and endless hours reading, talking, thinking and generally obsessing about your goals, and you can see how living the bodybuilding lifestyle can put a strain on your relationships.

Now she understood this and enjoyed and reapped the benefits from it. But obviously her not being #1 in my life. She was #2 and didnt like it but still the relationship was fine and great.

Well... we just broke up a week ago. I just got so routine to being with her im getting a case of the Oneitis. Never thought it would come back. The girl and i had no problems minus time. She's on a day schedule + a part time job + school sports. Yet we both still had time to see each other but she claims its not enough. I love her she loves me great fine.

Alot of female friends have come to my aid to tell me all the same thing and i quote:

Des:

you would think if you really cared about someone, ANY time spent with them would be enough, even if it was 2 days a week.

Now i have no qualms about our relationship. I could continue with what we have. Ive had alot worse and in fact this has had no stress on me compared to my past with other girls. I enjoyed it and could continue.

On top of it i took her virginity and been her first with everything shes been infactuated with me but recently kinda just lost all interest out of no where.. (girls go figure). So i planned to meet her this week at some coffe house to sit down talk and exchange **** (she would leave jewlery and clothes every time she came over like a dog pissing on a rug to mark his territory).

I could completly just say **** it and not meet her toss her **** let her keep mine and move on next. But i did care about this girl and would like it to continue. Since we broke up ive been dumb and called a few times and sent e mails. She would talk to me but more or less like friends. She says we dont really have anything to talk about and seems content with just doing her own thing. Ive seen alot of other guys try to move in since ive been bumped off my roost. She hasnt taken any interest and nore do i see her dating anytime soon.

The oneits is driving me nuts but slowly fading as time passes. Everytime i call i choke and usually im so suave. I have nothing to say at the "meeting" this week. Wich i initiated. She was hesitant at first thinking i would plead to have her back, but i just said it was casual exchange items hug and leave with a smile. I see myself tripping over my own words. IE im almost setting myself up for failure before we even meet not a good idea. So beyond my consistant rambling and if she just decides not to continue with me in her life thats fine. I ll heal and move on.

My question. Every other relationship prior to this girl has turned out to be ****. We would usually end on such bad terms as to be enemies and never talk (i was such an afc in the past). She still wants to keep in contact if we decide to get together later down the road who knows. Or i could just next and ignore her. I thought about keeping tabs on her or just in good graces for one reason. She has a very very very large social circle of friends. Hot friends. Single Hot Friends.

I could very easily use my good rep with her to get in with this circle and date once time allows and she has moved on or just given me the ok. Im tired im beat i just got out of work and im ready for some sleep.

So thoughts?

p.s. the oneites is fighting strong for me to work something out with her to keep the relationship going. Even though i know in the end it would come up again or would it...?

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Social, she's 18. Congrats on hitting it, especially for so long. She must have really liked you to stick with you that long. But you have to remind yourself that she's 18, and she was a virgin. Girls want to get out and find the best man they can. And maybe you are the best man she will ever find, but she still wants to explore. She may look back and say 'Damn'.

I'm sorry that you had to go through the breakup. It hurts. I know. But it is over. Don't meet her. Mail her stuff to her to send a message. Forget about ever talking to her again.

Dude, you are 25. Don't waste another second on this girl. Don't waste any time trying to get into her social circle because it's full of other 18 year olds. And 18-year olds want to do what she is doing. If this breakup hurt you, imagine how many other times you're going to get hurt with her friends. But if you are able to stave off the oneitis with these girls, then go ahead. But don't forget the reality.

If you are 25, you can be with anyone without worrying about your age. And if you are a bodybuilder on top of that, then you should be doing fine. Good luck

 

[hithard]

Trims pretty much hit the nail on the head.When going out with a 18 year old you should know its only going to last for a short time.Just enjoy the sex and be happy with that.No use trying to hold on to this unless its for casual sex.She needs to go out and explore for herself ,trying to hold her back is like trying to hold back the tide.

Too young, put her on the backburner.

 

[LJC]

Wow. I just got a flashback.

I was on the opposite end when I was 18. I was introduced to an older guy that was hanging around one of my friends and it was just a wierd experience for me. I said "Hey" to the guy and pretty much ignored him from then onwards, as did most of my firends, females included.

I also had a buddy when I was 27 that was about my age dating an 18 year old. She invited her friends over for a party and it was just the oddest experience I've ever had. They all just kind of sat there afraid to party, like I was some kind of spy for thier parents or something.

Don't expect great things to come from her younger social circle the same way it came from her one on one.

 

[Social Engineering]

Originally posted by LJC
Wow. I just got a flashback.

I was on the opposite end when I was 18. I was introduced to an older guy that was hanging around one of my friends and it was just a wierd experience for me. I said "Hey" to the guy and pretty much ignored him from then onwards, as did most of my firends, females included.

I also had a buddy when I was 27 that was about my age dating an 18 year old. She invited her friends over for a party and it was just the oddest experience I've ever had. They all just kind of sat there afraid to party, like I was some kind of spy for thier parents or something.

Don't expect great things to come from her younger social circle the same way it came from her one on one.

ive had the opposite experience with the younger ladies... they find me very interesting fun and pretty much give me massive attention considering they just are getting there licenses. Im in very very good shape. Solid job, a nice townhouse and my life together they find it attractive. Most of the time its a sexual attraction though because i see through it.