Social Proof in College

[h2o]

I’m in college right now, and I literally know over 200 people around campus. When I walk around during the day, I usually run into 2-3 people on average, that I know. These are mostly acquaintances. However, I do occasionally hang out with 30-40 (possibly more, this is just a rough estimate) of them…some more often than others.

So, I should have the “social proof” base covered. Heck, everywhere I go I’m always chatting up and getting to know folks. However, what I do not understand is how this “social proof” on campus has not had any benefit to my game.

In a bar/club, the importance of “social proof” is fairly evident in that girls will see you with other guys/girls, and it will make them more receptive of you, as they will see you as higher social status or value and a sociable person.

What I do not understand, is that on a campus as big as mine, with approximately 30,000 students/faculty, how the heck will my 200 acquaintances even scratch the surface? I mean, in clubs, girls will see me with my “social proof.” On campus, should I be doing more approaches when I have “social proof” currently available?

For example, this morning, on my way to class, there was a bus stop ahead on my right, and I notice this cute blonde girl standing there. As I get closer to the kiosk, I notice a friend of mine sitting down on the bench, so I greet him briefly. The girl was already eyeing me as I approached, and as I talked briefly to my friend, she continued to keep her eyes on me for those 10-15 seconds, and followed me with her eyes as I walked off. Now, should I have just turned around and approached her right there? Another few times, I’ve been walking, and I greet a friend or acquaintance as I walk, and a girl walking near me won’t just glance, but will keep her eyes on me until I am away from view. Sure, these are good opportunities that I am letting slide, but I’m not exactly sure how I would take them…or if this is how “social proof” is supposed to help anyway.

Does anyone get what I’m trying to say? I know it sounds kind of confusing, but basically I’m saying “social proof” hasn’t done **** for me in the past couple of months, and I know tons of people.

Anyway, I’d like to hear from any other college guys your opinions about “social proof” and how it has helped your game, if so…or any ideas/suggestions/advice.

Thanks,
-h2o

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

I was the same at my uni in that I knew a hell of a lot of people to speak to around campus.
Its a great start that you know so many people but for social proof to be of any use, you still have to make an approach or initiate a convo. Cos a girl isn't likely to come running to you just cos she's seen you talking to someone else.

 

[green69]

I understand what you're saying, and I have similar problems actually. When I see an acquiantence/friend and I talk to them, other people might be holding eye contact with me and all that but girls won't suddenly throw themselves at me. I guess the idea is to probably use the fact that these girls see you as a friendly guy (perhaps popular too) and use that to your advantage and approach them. I mean right off the bat they know you aren't a creep/wierdo/loser etc based on the fact that they saw you have a conversation + they are staring at you which probably means they find you attractive so you're all set.

 

[Valdez]

In college, thats one of the best ways to make an approach. If you see a hottie that is near someone you know, go up to the hottie almost as if you are going to talk to her...be like "hey what's up!" she will thank you are talking to her...but instead go to your friend before she can say anything. She will feel almost foolish thinking you wanted to talk to her...chat with your friend a bit, then try to bring her in the conversation by asking her opinion...or have your friend leave, than chat her up.

With a good wingman..you can use this approach like clockwork. College girls are eager to **** anyway.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by GodsGiftToFatBirds
Its a great start that you know so many people but for social proof to be of any use, you still have to make an approach or initiate a convo. Cos a girl isn't likely to come running to you just cos she's seen you talking to someone else.

Originally posted by green69
I guess the idea is to probably use the fact that these girls see you as a friendly guy (perhaps popular too) and use that to your advantage and approach them. I mean right off the bat they know you aren't a creep/wierdo/loser etc based on the fact that they saw you have a conversation + they are staring at you which probably means they find you attractive so you're all set.

Thanks guys, it’s good to see I’m not the only one. Well, to be honest, this may sound very stupid, but even though I’m completely over the fear of approaching or any sort of rejection, I am quite fearful of rejection (and would probably get pretty nervous when approaching in front of such acquaintances/friends) in front of friends/acquaintances. This is one reason that I’ve never done any approaches when I’m out with friends/family…I’ve let a lot of opportunities slide this way, but I just work a ton better solo. I feel like if someone I knew saw me got rejected I’d be thought of as desperate. I seriously think it wouldn’t give me a great reputation if I got rejected in front of people I know. The thing is, most of the people I know don't know me in that light of DJ'ing chicks. And, not to mention, it's rare for guys to be approaching girls anyway...I mean, my best friend thinks I'm a weirdo for doing it...so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be received that well.

To be honest, this brings me to a bit of a rant. Isn't it just fvcking stupid how you are, for example, waiting for an elevator, and start chatting with someone as you wait...and other people look at you like you just barfed in public or something. I mean, what's the big deal about talking with people you don't know?? It's like some people get so weirded out...our society is going down a sh*t hole at this rate, if strangers can't talk to one another without getting disgusting stares from others. It cracks me up actually when people are weirded out sometimes. I find it funny that so many people are so backwards in terms of social life. I've met so many of my "acquaintances" through these very types of chatting-up situations. Then I just see them again and again, and we continue to get to know each other...and it sometimes leads to hanging out together, if appropriate.

Any ideas on getting around this? Because I definitely think I have plenty of good opportunities that I’ve let slide because of this.

Thanks,
-h2o

 

[Valdez]

The best way to show confidence is to be put in a situation where the average person would have no confidence. Being rejected by a girl is one of those things. Just by being in the situation and having your nerves gathered you are showing confidence...its when you are rejected and you are cool that shows real confidence. Trust me, if a girl rejects you, but you handle it well, the girl will remember that (i've gotten chicks who rejected me upon the first approach). Also, your friends will see that as well. Handling these situations with confidence will also actually build true confidence...go figure.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by Valdez
In college, thats one of the best ways to make an approach. If you see a hottie that is near someone you know, go up to the hottie almost as if you are going to talk to her...be like "hey what's up!" she will thank you are talking to her...but instead go to your friend before she can say anything. She will feel almost foolish thinking you wanted to talk to her...chat with your friend a bit, then try to bring her in the conversation by asking her opinion...or have your friend leave, than chat her up.

With a good wingman..you can use this approach like clockwork. College girls are eager to **** anyway.

hey man, thanks...that's a very very good idea.

yeah, this morning, i think the girl at the bus stop thought I was going to talk to her, and that's probably why she was looking at me...haha...this is a golden idea, thanks a lot man.

 

[animal crackers]

You don't need social proof for street approach. In bars it helps A LOT.

Implicit social proof: Tell fun stories about stuff that happened to you....with friends (especially girls).

I used to be at university also, and I knew a hundred or so people, but some days I would barely see anyone on campus I knew.

Back then I was too AFC to approach, except when wasted. (and technically I had a girlfriend back home, but...)

I did see guys talk to girls and it didn't seem wierd at all. They weren't "hitting" on them thats the thing. It was just normal conversation.





ac

 

[needshelpdj]

I can help you out with this one

My freshman year I managed to become somewhat of an urban legend.

I just was basically friendly to people all around and if I saw a couple of hot girls sitting and talking outside smoking a cig or something i'd ask if i could join em. Never got turned down.

That is not why I became an urban legend however. Freshman year I tended to drink a large amount, mainly whiskey. Now where some people mainly become annoying when they drink too much I'm even more friendly and funny.

So I probably had close to 200 possibly a little bit less I knew by name and would speak to every time I saw them. However I had about close to 400 kids who knew who I was.

You want to talk about being tripped out. Try standing outside your dorm smoking a cig and 4 to 5 kids that pass you say whats up john when you have clue who the hell you are.

I managed to pick up the nickname DJ(kinda funny considering this site), but not for my macking skills but because i was nicknamed drunk john.

Because even when i'd get trashed and black out i'd approach people i didn't even know and talk my legend spread and i'd actually have some people tripping out when I'd meet them sober and they'd figure out who I was from hearing about me.

I figured it hurt my game but it never did. In fact it only helped it. Some of the kids I didn't remember(pretty good at remembering faces) at all would be sitting around with good looking girls and i'd just go up and say what's up to the guy or the girl of the group that knew me and introduce myself from there.

If you honestly know that many kids and have a good rep(which i did) you gain such a large advantage because you're almost like a rockstar on campus.

When you know that many people they want to know why you're so popular and that creates mystery immediately.

After that if you're good looking enough and skilled enough conversationalist you're basically beating girls off with a stick. It was funny because honestly some of the best looking girls in my dorm would constantly come up to me and create the same excuse to talk to me time and time again(stupidly on my part I was dating a girl at the time I had met in the first two weeks) and I was blowing them off.

It was a real life study in how most dj principles hold to be true.

For all you freshmen out there in college just show balls and approach anyone and everyone you want in the first few weeks. Once the first few pass people become more guarded, especially girls.

If you just show balls of steel when you see them outside sitting just ask if you can join them and most(not all, although i never really had a problem just cause i did it in a casual way and somewhat social proof) would be more than happy.

Introduce yourself to as many guys and girls as possible, and if you recognize people from anywhere, class, hall, whatever if you see them just hanging out somewhere ask em if you can join them because it expands your social circle that much more. And then when you meet their friends it goes from there.

Think about it.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by animal crackers
You don't need social proof for street approach...

Implicit social proof: Tell fun stories about stuff that happened to you....with friends (especially girls).

...I did see guys talk to girls and it didn't seem wierd at all. They weren't "hitting" on them thats the thing. It was just normal conversation.

Yeah, I know you don't need social proof for street approaches, but I have it and want to take advantage. I'm okay at telling stories, not great, so I don't do it often...but I see what you're saying about not "hitting" on them, good point, thanks.

Originally posted by needshelpdj

I know what you mean by most of it, as I've already felt the effects of the "social proof" but just never thought of approaching groups of chicks that way. I'll keep doing the stuff you've mentioned ...

...the one thing I need to work on is being a better conversationalist. I'm pretty decent, but I focus the conversation more on the other person ...which is good, but I can always improve.

Thanks for the thought-out response, I'm definitely going to use this advice.

-h2o