So... uhm... where should I start?

[The Pedantical]

I've been reading this board for a while, but nothing ever seems to sink in for some reason.

So, I'm 25. I'm yet to have one date. I mean even just a friendly meaningless date. Zilch. Zero.

So I've kept a pretty positive attitude for a while. I thought... well, let's just focus on improving myself. I started working at a new job just to practice talking to people. Last year I got on a diet and started working out at the gym, and my bodyfat went from 22.3% to 11.5%. I took dance lessons in classes with a whole bunch of girls. I spent a year at the dorm in college instead of commuting to have a chance to meet more girls. I've watched all the DVDs I could buy from D Deangelo. I read through the book of pook. I kept telling myself... well, I'm just going to be a better male and things should get better by themselves.

But it's getting a bit ridiculous, really. I just can't get a date. It's not that I'm automatically shy around girls. I had no problems asking girls to dance with me in dance lessons and whatever. Nor do I feel shy at all in a strip club or with escorts either. But I haven't been to either for a long time now, because I just got bored of it. I don't want to have sex with a girl... I just want a date. Just go for a coffee or something and talk. Just something normal with no phony crap like dance class or paying her to let me rub her boobs. I don't care about that. I just want a normal ordinary run of the mill date. But that's where everything blocks. Half the time I just can't ask the girl in question, and the other half that I do ask they invariably find an excuse not to.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm whining but at 25 I'm really starting to have enough of this. It's gotten so bad that whenever I watch a movie and there's stuff like teen dating I've just got to stop watching because it hurts so bad.

There's GOT to be something I've missed somewhere, but I'm at my wit's end. If you guys have some suggestions on what step I should take next, I'd be really happy to hear it... :flowers:

 

[ssj4halo]

change your attitude. You are not acting like you are the prize. Change that. Be more optimistic, more fun. Maybe if you give us a field report or two asking a girl out, we can help you out more.

You have to get into that interaction with her with the mindset that you dont care about what will happen, you are just having fun weeeeee, its no big deal. Are you?

 

[CrypticCaptain]

I have same/similar problems, how do I make the changes to achieve desider success? What part or side of me do I have to turn on? How do I let go of this mental baggage? I mean, how bad would they freak out over inexperience of any sorts? I mean when you are borderline still lives in parent's basement type, and has little experience with women? Am I just worrying about that too much?


Like him, I just want some normal,freindly, run of the mill stuff, but where I live and go, and maybe I am misjudging, they seem so superficial,materialistic, snobby and *****y.

 

[Rhoto]

OP,

It sounds like you have some serious social issues.

Nor do I feel shy at all in a strip club or with escorts either.

Why would you? They're professionals that you pay for company.

I don't want to have sex with a girl...

Pretty sure that qualifies you as a homosexual.

So when you do ask, you get shot down. Suggestion - ask more.

You seem starved of real social interaction, because if you are taking the dance classes and going (and no strip clubs don't count) out, success with women becomes an inevitability.

 

[Kerpal]

I have same/similar problems, how do I make the changes to achieve desider success? What part or side of me do I have to turn on? How do I let go of this mental baggage? I mean, how bad would they freak out over inexperience of any sorts? I mean when you are borderline still lives in parent's basement type, and has little experience with women? Am I just worrying about that too much?


Like him, I just want some normal,freindly, run of the mill stuff, but where I live and go, and maybe I am misjudging, they seem so superficial,materialistic, snobby and *****y.

Caped Crusader :nono:

 

[Tazman]

I don't want to have sex with a girl

Don't lie to yourself man. Women know as soon as you ask them out (or even look at them) what you want, but you have to be "comfortable" with it, don't pretend like you aren't after sex, it's a turn off and makes you look weak.

 

[CrypticCaptain]

Caped Crusader

Yeah. Yeah. It's me. Why do I do this? I really don't know. I do want help, but don't know the right way about getting it, plus it allows me to vent and try and solve things, but I got my head wrapped around so much that I can't even stop. It's more a mental thing than anything else, plus a little bit of lazyness. If it keeps going like this, what's gonna happen?

 

[The Pedantical]

Don't lie to yourself man. Women know as soon as you ask them out (or even look at them) what you want, but you have to be "comfortable" with it, don't pretend like you aren't after sex, it's a turn off and makes you look weak.

You misunderstood me... what I meant was that I wasn't looking for one night stands or stuff like that but something more complete. Obviously sex is part of a relationship, but I wouldn't be satisfied with something that's just physical with no real personal connection

 

[Warrior74]

You misunderstood me... what I meant was that I wasn't looking for one night stands or stuff like that but something more complete. Obviously sex is part of a relationship, but I wouldn't be satisfied with something that's just physical with no real personal connection

What's your class level and what class level are you trying to date in? This is something that's rarely discussed around here....

Strippers and escorts are lower class regardless of their clientele. You need to go after women that are in your own class, education and upbring bracket. When you try to shoot higher it can cause insecurity when you don't have strong innergame and when you go lower you have no respect for them. They like you more cause you don't really give a sh!t about them, which is how they are used to being treated anyway.

Start going after the women you really want. Not confident...fake it till you make it.

 

[The Pedantical]

Well for the moment I'm doing a masters degree, so I'm mostly interested in girls with whom I share classes because I see them more often.

Though I don't really worry that much about academic level that much... the most important thing in my mind is that she's not someone who's always sad and depressed about everything or whatever. I've known a girl who kept talking about how her grandma was starving during WW2 and how she got robbed by a cashier in a shop and how her cousin has leukemia and sad stuff like that... I swear it was like she was a dementor from azkaban or something, every time I was around her I felt like the world was a sad place. My ideal dream woman would be someone who enjoys subtle pleasures, like a morning walk in the park or drinking fine wine in a chic restaurant on a saturday night, like who's not always complaining about something, and who doesn't always feel the need to say something to fill in an uncomfortable silence... like we can just be comfortable with each other without having to talk talk talk

 

[Maxtro]

The Pedantical, I'm in a very similar situation as you. Had a ton of exposure to PUA material, done dance classes and getting in shape. You've also done the escort thing.

So what's next? The answer is simple though it's taken me a long time to realize and more importantly accept, ask out lots of girls. I don't know if you're anything like me, but I prefer to get to know a girl first before I think about asking her out. Then I tend to focus on 1-3 girls only for a long period of time and I still might not ask one of them out.

So here is the question. How many girls do you ask out in a week, a month, 6 months?

 

[DonJuan11]

My ideal dream woman would be someone who enjoys subtle pleasures, like a morning walk in the park or drinking fine wine in a chic restaurant on a saturday night, like who's not always complaining about something, and who doesn't always feel the need to say something to fill in an uncomfortable silence... like we can just be comfortable with each other without having to talk talk talk

It's your fault she's always complaining about something. You have to bring out the fun in the girl, you have to make her comfortable with you so she is relaxed. Any guy with the right game can make any girl do what he likes, like a morning walk in the park or drinking fine wine in a restaurant.

Step up your game and negotiation skills. These girls who complain to you do it because you let them and are very weak.

 

[The Pedantical]

It's your fault she's always complaining about something.

That might be a stretch though... it's not like she was my girlfriend. I knew her because she was part of circle of friends I frequented in my first year in college and whenever we all hung out together she was always killing the mood for everyone. I was rarely if ever alone with her

Though I fail to see how a guy could take a girl like that and play his game to make her a funny happy-go-lucky type

 

[FairShake]

Go for super nice girls with so-so looks.

They will be grateful for the attention.

Once you are better at sexing and dating move on to better looking girls OR keep it up with these girls.

Either way, many of us without looks or personality start out with the so-sos of the world. And have a good time.

 

[Tazman]

fake it till you make it

Ultimately, this his how I made progress with women.