Slow Recovery of a broken marriage

[DjVelvet]

6months ago, I made the mistake of betraying my wife as per previous thread.
Every since, I had broke up with my mistress.

Fast forward till today..
Things are getting better between me and my ex wife, we are getting physically closer, and she proclaim that he is still madly in love with me, of course i love her too (i realised my past mistakes and swore to change for the better) and I have been bringing my daughter to school every few days per week.
(Ex wife has moved out with my daughter 4months ago)

Although we are close few days back, there are several problems I faced.
Her sister and close friends came to know from her that we are getting closer.
They reprimanded my ex wife "why are u still seeing him? He is a jerk and does not deserve any second chance"

After all the external pressure she is facing, she is currently avoiding me except for picking up our daughter. I know she is still very much of high interest to me. She had previously talked about getting re married with me back if we can maintain a healthy family life again. (I pray to god that I would love that to happen. My ex wife is beautiful and loyal to me) till now she is not seeing anyone except for some orbiters around her.

She is now cold when talking to me and when I physically tried to escalate kino, she rejected it. My gut feeling tells me she is trying to force herself to move on; following her sister's advice

What can be possible solutions to get her back slowly? I don't mind if it takes a long period. I am also taking a break from seein other girls, concentration on gym and career..

Sincerely asking for advice.

 

[DjVelvet]

Thanks bro. Well said. I will be taking it slow.

 

[DjVelvet]

Thank u for the advices.

Another question for u guys. Currently my good friend is pursuing my ex wife, he knows that I am still close with my ex wife.

Irregardless, he continues to ask her out occasionally to club and dinners. He is a natural player and handsome (but has a bad reputation as a playboy). I don't regard him as a friend from the above action. Of coz he does it without my knowledge. I know I have no right as a ex husband to care about that.

How would u guys deal with the situation? I nearly confronted this guy about it. But it will cause repercussion.

 

[The Duke]

DJVelvet- I think you are a pretty shady dude. You go buy the username "DJ VELVET". You cheat on your wife. The kind of company you keep doesn't even have enough respect for your friendship to leave your exwife alone. And he has a bad reputation as a playboy. Birds of a feather flock together! Those are all YOUR words, not mine. Kind of paints the picture tho.

The only reason you are here is to cry the blues. You lack a lot of sincerity. a guy that was truly sorry about losing his ex wife and wanted to make things right, would not have stated he "was taking a break from seein other girls". He wouldn't of had to of. Other women would have been the farthest thing from his mind. Getting his ex back would have been first and foremost!!!

Go tell your story somewhere else. I can see right thru you.

 

[speed dawg]

DJVelvet- I think you are a pretty shady dude. You go buy the username "DJ VELVET". You cheat on your wife. The kind of company you keep doesn't even have enough respect for your friendship to leave your exwife alone. And he has a bad reputation as a playboy. Birds of a feather flock together! Those are all YOUR words, not mine. Kind of paints the picture tho.

The only reason you are here is to cry the blues. You lack a lot of sincerity. a guy that was truly sorry about losing his ex wife and wanted to make things right, would not have stated he "was taking a break from seein other girls". He wouldn't of had to of. Other women would have been the farthest thing from his mind. Getting his ex back would have been first and foremost!!!

Go tell your story somewhere else. I can see right thru you.

Bingo. Dj velvet is a waste of skin.

 

[DjVelvet]

DJVelvet- I think you are a pretty shady dude. You go buy the username "DJ VELVET". You cheat on your wife. The kind of company you keep doesn't even have enough respect for your friendship to leave your exwife alone. And he has a bad reputation as a playboy. Birds of a feather flock together! Those are all YOUR words, not mine. Kind of paints the picture tho.

The only reason you are here is to cry the blues. You lack a lot of sincerity. a guy that was truly sorry about losing his ex wife and wanted to make things right, would not have stated he "was taking a break from seein other girls". He wouldn't of had to of. Other women would have been the farthest thing from his mind. Getting his ex back would have been first and foremost!!!

Go tell your story somewhere else. I can see right thru you.

Give me a break. I am indeed truly sorry for why I done to her. I have been screwing my mind for months tryin to get her back sincerely and treating my daughter well, so what do you expect? beg her and says that i have changed? moan and ask for forgiveness (i have done so before) I have refrained from posting at this site and expected posters like you making such comments.

I repeat, I am really here to simply seek for advices.

Will greatly appreciate

 

[expos]

DJVelvet.

This is a great time for you to cut women out of your life right now and really focus yourself and your daughter. Ignore your wife and try not to think about her...as hard as this is to do. I think you realize that you made a mistake, so just try to be a big picture guy and think about some fail safe moves to get you on track again.

I too love my ex-wife, so I understand your pain entirely, but I'm not talking to her AT ALL or trying to win her back. I think the more you think about your ex-wife, the more you are stuck in that revolving door. I've been there. Really give this situation some space for a few months....and sort of disappear. If the wife tries to contact you to talk about feelings or something regarding your relationship, DONT RESPOND. If it's regarding your daughter or some paperwork, keep it short and simple and give one sentence answers.

What you need to do is just let this situation wash over a few times and create some space until you are realistically healthy enough to deal with the problems.

After a divorce, people are in shock for a great deal of time and it takes sometimes a year or more to really feel like you are 100% again.

Take my advice...and just disappear for a bit.

 

[DjVelvet]

It's almost official, i heard from my friend that she's together with a new beta guy whom has showered her with gifts and a typical AFC (complete opposite as me, he did the things that i never; ie: showering gifts & proclaiming his undying love) somemore, that guy is a common friend (another guy, not the playboy I mentioned above) and somemore only a week after she declared her love for me

It's hard and painful especially to know its a common friend. They are undergoing a "secret and underground" relationship as we all had too many common friends. That guy dumped his LTR of 9years to pursue my ex.

I am standing strong... And I intend to talk to her that I know about her new relationship in a firm emotionless manner that "even if you have a new bf, you must give priority to our daughter"
I will not talk about feelings.

Advisable? Suggestions?

 

[switch]

look for another woman ,
get rid of your daughter-she is deadweight , let the your wife and new husband pay for her living.
your common friends are useless , get rid of them.
move to a new city, fresh start.new job , new woman.

i think rationally.if its too hard for you then realize im a cold heartless mofo who thinks according to logic.

 

[speed dawg]

get rid of your daughter-she is deadweight

Holy crap. Stop breathing, switch, seriously. I don't give a d*mn if you prefaced your post with "I think logically", that's a cop-out. Your answer is for him to abandon his child, that he brought into the world, basically adding to the problem this world already has with feminism, etc. Seriously, slit your own wrists. Quickly.

 

[switch]

Holy crap. Stop breathing, switch, seriously. I don't give a d*mn if you prefaced your post with "I think logically", that's a cop-out. Your answer is for him to abandon his child, that he brought into the world, basically adding to the problem this world already has with feminism, etc. Seriously, slit your own wrists. Quickly.

LOL, i see my drunkard post has enraged a few posters :crackup:

 

[DjVelvet]

look for another woman ,
get rid of your daughter-she is deadweight , let the your wife and new husband pay for her living.
your common friends are useless , get rid of them.
move to a new city, fresh start.new job , new woman.

i think rationally.if its too hard for you then realize im a cold heartless mofo who thinks according to logic.

Sorry bro, I love my daughter too much to kick her away. If my ex and her new guy is not treating my daughter right, I will appeal to the court to get her custody back.

I want to nurture her and take care of her; and that's above all priorities other than self improvement

 

[DjVelvet]

Guys, I have to be honest with my feelings now as in real life, there aren't much "alpha" people for me to share this problem with..

Please bare with me in this tough moment. I have cut all contacts with her other than being polite when picking up my daughter every Sunday.

My daughter told me that my ex and her new bf (whom is my friend) brought her out having great fun.

The thought about my friend being together with my ex and daughter piss the hell outta me.

If this new guy is someone I not known, I am pretty fine with it. But it's a COMMON FRIEND nearly within my network. Think 50common friends in Facebook.

Many guy friends of mine whom know him actually wanna smack the hell outta him. And they asked me "WHY didn't you ask him out? Man to Man"
I nearly did that and wanted to confront him. But when I cool down and think logically. I thinked "if I confronted him or beat him up, it will only draw my ex and him closer & in contrast, beating him up makes me weak instead" please correct me if I am wrong.

What will you guys do? Toward the new guy whoms so called a friend

 

[switch]

Sorry bro, I love my daughter too much to kick her away. If my ex and her new guy is not treating my daughter right, I will appeal to the court to get her custody back.

I want to nurture her and take care of her; and that's above all priorities other than self improvement

i was drunk on that day,sorry man didnt mean to be like an ******* to you.

for now just take care of your kid, and try to focus on your life.

 

[DjVelvet]

i was drunk on that day,sorry man didnt mean to be like an ******* to you.

for now just take care of your kid, and try to focus on your life.

No problem bro

 

[AAAgent]

You're not going to be able to get your sh1t together until you learn to man up and accept your mistake and move on. Trying to patch things back up with your wife while making yourself look like a chump and being available to her at her beckoning isn't going to help you recover. You made a mistake and regretted it. It ruined you're marriage. That's all done and in the past. You need to put that all behind you and move forward to create a new and better future. The divorce and separation is already you're punishment.

Sure, people will dislike you and call you names. you can't hide from them forever and running away is what cowards do. It's in the past, you should walk tall and proud as if you're a new and better person since you should be. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes only make us stronger and smarter than before. If you talk to these people normally and have a conversation i doubt, they'd have the balls to say that stuff to your face, and if they did, it's none of their problems anyway. It's between you and your ex-wife.

The best advice is to move on from your ex wife and stop pursuing her. It show's weakness in character, begging for something to come back because you've lost it.

Learn from your mistakes, don't let them haunt you and dictate your future actions by turning you into a scared and regretful person. See you're daughter, be amiable with your wife, and continue living your life as a normal person would and seek better options.