Slipping...

[Die Hard]

Damn, I slipped! Met this great girl last week and ran into her again tonight. She's just so goddamn sweet and innocent that I abandoned all my game with her. Instead of being the dominant high value guy I usually am around women, I turned into this sweet boy trying to act all proper and nice with her. For fvck sake, I got shy and basically pedestalled her!

Not sure what angers me the most about this.. The fact that I acted like an AFC or the fact that I might've ruined my chances with her because of it. I guess both...

This seems to be a recurring hole in my game. I have no problem at all grabbing the frame, being confident and sucking a girl into my world when it comes to "normal" girls... But those DECENT girls, the ones who are well educated, from a proper family, kinda innocent and shy...like, really good and pure girls who seem so sweet and decent, the type that would go to Africa and help poor people for free because she's just such a GOOD person...I ALWAYS slip with those!

When it's some cheap, arrogant slvt, I have no problem dominating her but these decent girls always give me a feeling like I have to treat them gentle and with respect and all. Know what I mean? I feel like if I would neg them or behave too dominant, it would kinda hurt or insult them, they seem fragile and I'm afraid that they will think of me as RUDE when I run some game on them. So I have this built-in automatic reaction to abandon all my game with these girls and then what remains is my former self and I start acting like I would in my AFC days, I become shy and kinda treat them like they're something precious and special.

And deep down, I guess that's exactly how I feel about them. They DO seem special to me, as if they're not the same as all those stuck up, self-entitled bytches you encounter everywhere (at least in the U.S. and Western Europe). I guess deep down, I hold the conviction that this kind of girl can be good to me and offer me something more than sex and superficial pleasure. Deep down, I hope that these girls can offer me an emotional connection, genuine affection, a chance to to let my guard down and be accepted for who I am etc. All that sort of bullsh!t...

With all those other bytches, I expect nothing, they hold no real worth to me. They're just toys and I couldn't care less about their opinion of me. They got nothing worthwhile to offer me and I feel like I outrank them. That's why I can draw them into MY world and have no problem forcing them to follow MY rules. I am the PRIZE and if I can't win them over, they can p!ss off! But with these pure and decent girls, I actually beiieve THEY are the prize and that I stand to lose something VALUABLE if I fail to win them over. So naturally, I supplicate to them...

But I KNOW I shouldn't!!! So right now, I'm trying to come up with a sh!tload of logical reasons and arguments WHY I shouldn't. Convincing myself that tonight's girl takes it up the @ss from other guys helps a lot It also helps to remind myself of all the girls in the past like her that turned out to be quite different from the way they appeared to me when I just met them...

So... I would love for you guys to chime in and remind me why these girls should NOT be treated any different from the rest! Perhaps if I can turn the switch in my head, I might still be able to salvage the situation with this girl when I run into her again, but more importantly, I would like to be prepared for all my future encounters with this particular type of girl. Guys, please shove your boots up my @ss (your chance to return the favor, Buddha mind....) and convince me once and for all that it's utter foolishness to drop my game with this sort of girl!

Thanx.

 

[backbreaker]

Damn, I slipped! Met this great girl last week and ran into her again tonight. She's just so goddamn sweet and innocent that I abandoned all my game with her. Instead of being the dominant high value guy I usually am around women, I turned into this sweet boy trying to act all proper and nice with her. For fvck sake, I got shy and basically pedestalled her!

Not sure what angers me the most about this.. The fact that I acted like an AFC or the fact that I might've ruined my chances with her because of it. I guess both...

This seems to be a recurring hole in my game. I have no problem at all grabbing the frame, being confident and sucking a girl into my world when it comes to "normal" girls... But those DECENT girls, the ones who are well educated, from a proper family, kinda innocent and shy...like, really good and pure girls who seem so sweet and decent, the type that would go to Africa and help poor people for free because she's just such a GOOD person...I ALWAYS slip with those!

When it's some cheap, arrogant slvt, I have no problem dominating her but these decent girls always give me a feeling like I have to treat them gentle and with respect and all. Know what I mean? I feel like if I would neg them or behave too dominant, it would kinda hurt or insult them, they seem fragile and I'm afraid that they will think of me as RUDE when I run some game on them. So I have this built-in automatic reaction to abandon all my game with these girls and then what remains is my former self and I start acting like I would in my AFC days, I become shy and kinda treat them like they're something precious and special.

And deep down, I guess that's exactly how I feel about them. They DO seem special to me, as if they're not the same as all those stuck up, self-entitled bytches you encounter everywhere (at least in the U.S. and Western Europe). I guess deep down, I hold the conviction that this kind of girl can be good to me and offer me something more than sex and superficial pleasure. Deep down, I hope that these girls can offer me an emotional connection, genuine affection, a chance to to let my guard down and be accepted for who I am etc. All that sort of bullsh!t...

With all those other bytches, I expect nothing, they hold no real worth to me. They're just toys and I couldn't care less about their opinion of me. They got nothing worthwhile to offer me and I feel like I outrank them. That's why I can draw them into MY world and have no problem forcing them to follow MY rules. I am the PRIZE and if I can't win them over, they can p!ss off! But with these pure and decent girls, I actually beiieve THEY are the prize and that I stand to lose something VALUABLE if I fail to win them over. So naturally, I supplicate to them...

But I KNOW I shouldn't!!! So right now, I'm trying to come up with a sh!tload of logical reasons and arguments WHY I shouldn't. Convincing myself that tonight's girl takes it up the @ss from other guys helps a lot It also helps to remind myself of all the girls in the past like her that turned out to be quite different from the way they appeared to me when I just met them...

So... I would love for you guys to chime in and remind me why these girls should NOT be treated any different from the rest! Perhaps if I can turn the switch in my head, I might still be able to salvage the situation with this girl when I run into her again, but more importantly, I would like to be prepared for all my future encounters with this particular type of girl. Guys, please shove your boots up my @ss (your chance to return the favor, Buddha mind....) and convince me once and for all that it's utter foolishness to drop my game with this sort of girl!

Thanx.

your problem is simply you are changing your game / throwing game out the window when you meet the woman of your dreams/ your idealized version of what a woman should be. as in saying yeah game will work on girls I think/ know i am better than but when i met a girl that I really am digging it's not going to work which could not be further from the truth.

this is why it's so important to have hobbies, have a life established before you jump into the pool and start swimming laps in the deep end. Because what is seeming to happen is you are having too much time to think about this woman and the more you think about how right she is the more you want her, the more you want her the more she thinks you are a chump. at least hobbies will keep you physically busy so you can take your mind off her.

IMHO, most AFC's have issues, at least the ones on this site, have 2 main issues that keep them from having / scoring with with some consistany. The first being their body. most would rather buy into how looks don't matter or how they are fine or how they were born with baby fat than to bust their ass in the gym.

the other is that most just are too god damn boring, and have no life. not only is it important to have a life to show you are a man of value, it's important so that you can not think about her all day long.


I will take your personal situation even a step further. If you really know how to get into a woman's emotions, it will work BETTER with this chick than it has with any other chick you have dated. why? because i assure you, and you are probably more DJish than 90% at least of the population, that you aren't the first guy to look at her in that light. women, regardless of how rich, how classy, how proper, are still woman, trust me. Women have "acts" just like men have "acts". some men try the smart geeky nerd cool act. Some guys try the macho / bodybuilding act. some try the successful business man act. women have acts too. the sweet/preppy/goodie too shoes act. it works. my wife is a lot like that. some girls have the slutty i "love sex" act. some girls have the tom boy just one of hte guys act. not to say that she isn't sweet or isn't kind and caring but she expects men to act a certain way aroound her beucase she knows what that does to most men. you need to not do that lol.

anyway, best of luck, go out and be interesting. show her you are into her but that you are into other things as well don't reat your otuings any more than just 2 adults going to kick it nothing more. expect nothing. just have fun.

 

[Die Hard]

The following is very helpful:

not to say that she isn't sweet or isn't kind and caring but she expects men to act a certain way aroound her beucase she knows what that does to most men. you need to not do that lol.

Just simple basics of the game, yet it's very helpful to rehearse some of these core rules/knowledge whenever you slip. So come on guys, help me out and spit out some more of this, please!

 

[Juan Don]

stay the way you are always! if a girl is attracted to who you are at the beginning then why change? no need to change at all. she values you already.

 

[Die Hard]

Thanks Juan!

I guess it's a more general thing with me lately. Over the last few weeks, I sort of lost my killer instinct, have been tired of playing the game and felt a need to look for something "more".

"Concidentally", I ran into someone who fits that need . Just my mind playing tricks on me...I need to get out of this weak state I'm in and return to myself.

I just found this and it helped a lot (made me laugh my @ss off too )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsegTiuEoq8

I might go out tonight and see if I got the eye of the tiger back...

 

[Desdinova]

I feel your pain. I really fvcking do.

In the first two months of dating my gf, I absolutely tortured myself. I'm very highly attracted to her, and I had to fight like mad to stop myself from spoiling the 5hit out of her, putting her on a pedestal, barfing out my feelings to her, and all that other 5hit that turns women off.

I don't know WTF it is. She's a good girl, educated, comes from a decent family, never been sexually abused, low mileage, nice body, cute face, and everything else that a woman should be. And the bytch just turns me into a pile of mush.

It's a bit better now. We're about to hit six months, and I've calmed the hell down considerably. I still make an effort to hold back. I don't tell her my feelings all the time, I don't smother her with phone calls or texts, and I don't buy her flowers and 5hit. I force myself to appear less interested than she is with me, but realistically we're probably on the same level when it comes to interest which is where it SHOULD be.

The girl is crazy about me, and I need it to stay that way. The occasional slip-up is okay, but I know that constant ones will cause her interest to go down. It's a struggle to maintain what appears to be lower interest, but it's well worth it.

 

[Serg897]

I think one general lesson to learn here is this:

You wont always do everything right. The game is impossible to play perfectly. Sometimes you will put a girl on a pedestal and subconsciously do something that shows it. Sometimes you'll say something stupid that ruins your chances. Sometimes you will push for sex too fast, or not fast enough. Sometimes you will meet some girl that just causes a total AFC relapse.

I've done all of these things, and almost every time wallowed in self pity for a while and come back to this forum to whine and b!tch about it. It happens. Thats why this forum is here.

You are only human. Give yourself some credit, you realized where you went wrong and now wont repeat that particular mistake again.

 

[Die Hard]

Good job on you, Desdinova. You know what? I have NEVER in my life gone with a girl for 6 months or longer... So keep up the good work and make it last! I do believe you're wrong about the following, however:

but realistically we're probably on the same level when it comes to interest which is where it SHOULD be

It shouldn't be 50-50, it should be 40-60. She should care just a little more about you, work just a little bit harder for you etc. etc. than the other way around.


Thanks for the inspiring words, Serg897. I did a lot of thinking today and have been reinforcing certain ideas in my mind, I hope I got this weakness covered from here on. Time will tell...

I do feel I need to be harsh on myself about this thing, though. This was not an incident, it's a recurring situation. Every now and then, I meet a girl like this and I basically slip 9 out of 10 times. As I wrote this thread's opening post, I remembered writing basically the same thing on one or several other occasions before. I'll have to search my posting history but I'm pretty sure about it. Everybody slips sometimes but this is a very specific recurring kind of slip. It's always the same situation, the same type of girl, and always the same foolish reaction from my side.

I feel I do need to be harsh on myself for this and erradicate this hole in my game once and for all. It's like taking your driver licence exam and failing again and again, everytime on the same damn part, like forgetting to watch in your mirror or whatever. I mean, how many times can you repeat the exact same mistake without learning from it?! No, this needs to end and I vow to myself that it will, goddamnit.

 

[Desdinova]

It shouldn't be 50-50, it should be 40-60. She should care just a little more about you, work just a little bit harder for you etc. etc. than the other way around.

I know I'm going out on a limb with this one. When it comes to actual interest, it's 50-50. As for how it appears to her eyes (or the eyes of anybody else) it's 40-60. It's just an illusion. I'm fvcking crazy about the woman, but I follow behind her when I show it.

 

[HariPoter13]

This is a huge bump but I just had to write this.


You got played. The best players are the ones you'd never suspect of being one. Three words - good girl game.


I know. You know how? I got played. Not once, not twice, but many times. Infact, each and every single one of my oneitis cases were caused by GGG.

 

[BMX]

Being single for nearly a year and a half now, this does not affect me anymore. I treat all women the same. You can tell when they are of good quality. Oddly enough, good girls can just sense that I'm a good guy even when they meet me out at a bar, etc. Do not lose your game, ever. As one retired trooper put it to me: "That badge can get you a lot of pvssy, but one pvssy can get that badge." With that in mind, I never expend too much energy on any one woman. Just keep your head on steady and fill your spare time with other entertaining options.

 

[Die Hard]

I haven't seen this girl for two months. Until two days ago... So it's very funny that you decided to bump this thread exactly now, HariPoter13.

I just greeted her and went my own way. To be honest, I couldn't be bothered with her and had my attention elsewhere...

You are right, though. I did get played at the time, but not in the normal sense of the word! She wasn't just applying 'good girl game', there was more to it... There is only one type of girl who can elicit such a strong reaction inside me through such minimal interaction, as she did: the cluster B type.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

They're just toys and I couldn't care less about their opinion of me. They got nothing worthwhile to offer me and I feel like I outrank them.

This is just part of the reason you are a trash hole of a mind. Look buddy, the women you are fvcking are piles of garbage. Do you understand that? You disregard a sweet woman as being Cluster B.

Instead of recognizing you fvked up, you classify her as crazy but really YOU are the Crazy One. Cluster B is defined as:

Cluster B (dramatic)
Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic (melodramatic) & Narcissistic



Narcissitic--

They're just toys and I couldn't care less about their opinion of me. They got nothing worthwhile to offer me and I feel like I outrank them. That's why I can draw them into MY world and have no problem forcing them to follow MY rules.

Truly the most narcissistic **** I've ever heard.

I can identify the other statues of Cluster B in other threads by you.

Dude YOU are cluster B!

Why are you whining about this? I thought you were the Master DJ bro? Some girl got on your soft side? Toughen up brother, me a man, quit being a little pvssy @ss b.itch and go find yourself some poon bro. What gives?

When you are ready to address the deep psychological issues within your own mind, I'll be there to help you.