gravityeyelids
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
- Messages
- 918
- Reaction score
- 192
Gonna rant. Feel free to ignore this. Need to spill some stuff so i can get my head straight, and I prefer what little feedback/support i get from this form rather than just making a journal in a notebook or whatever.
Over the past few months i've grown complacent. In almost all aspects of myself as a man. Luckily, the one area I haven't been lacking in is cultivating my skillset for my career. I'm in audio/video production and i've had a huge hunger for knowledge. i've been pouring over books and articles and tutorial videos...sometimes spending up to 6 or 7 hours a day outside of my normal school work to learn more and inform myself, and then going into the lab to apply what i've learned.
However, my game has been slipping. I came into this semester on a mission (like I usually do) to work on my skills with girls and...obviously...bang as many cute girls as i can and maybe find a great GF i can spend a couple months with. I started out relatively strong. Last year i had lowered my standards to the point where i was banging girls that I really wasnt attracted to. These girls weren't cows. By the average man's standards (non-DJ), they would definately be bangable, especially as a ONS. However, after a few one night stands with various girls, i kept calling them up even though they were poor in bed, had lame/boring personalities, and quite honestly didnt even turn me on. I just figured it was better to be laid by mediocre chicks than not be laid at all, and took the "go bang 10 other girls" advice way too seriously.
I deserve better than that. I'm very good looking, have a fantastic personality, and my game for the most part is tight. However, lately... i'm gettting extremely frustrated. It's hard to get ANYWHERE with girls that meet my standards and whom I consider "hot". NOTHING has been panning out. I had a couple decent leads....a couple coffee dates with very cute chicks that never panned out. I was banging this one cute girl for a while...but i was just leading her on. She was cute enough to bang....but i wasnt interesting in dating her. I knew i could do better but i had no other options.
When it comes to day game, i'm so fvcking lazy. I cant remember the last number close i got that wasnt from a night out at the bars or from Tinder. Those have been my two primary sources of leads...which is part of the problem. The girls on tinder....there are some gems, but for the most part it's low quality. And the super hot ones are just on there for attention. And as far as the bar...if i'm being honest with myself, i use alcohol as a crutch and almost always get so drunk that one of two things end up happening: 1) I'm so drunk that my game is sloppy so i blow it with a cute girl, or 2) im drunk to the point where i'm uninhibited and feel like a boss because im making out with girls and racking up numbers...but after adding them on facebook or making plans to meet up...i find that these girls are mediocre, and i lose any desire to really pursue them beyond a quick lay.
I havent been reading a lot of game material like i had for a while, which is a shame because it really boosts my confidence and keeps my game tight. I'm just getting disheartened and havent even been following up on good leads because my rationale is "what's the point....i'm either going to meet them and be disappointing and feel bad because i led them on...or they're going to be cute and fun and awesome and nothing is going to pan out."
I mean i guess compared to most people on the forum i've done okay for myself. Since the beginning of the year, i've probably slept with....idk maybe like 8 girls? If i had to guess. And honestly most of them were very decent by most people's standards. But that's not enough for me. I want to be banging those 8 or 9 or 10s that everyone else drools over. But more importantly i want to find a high enough quality girl that I not only want to have sex with but also spend time with, have fun with, share my interests, look forward to hanging out with, and even potentially date.
I'm honestly lonely most of the time. Almost all of my close friends have graduated or moved away. I dont even have one decent social circle at this college that I can hang with or meet people through. I have a couple of random friends that i can call up to party with or whatever...but beyond that, i feel pretty alone. Maybe part of the problem is my location. The college environment is so dependent on social circles and being accepted into groups.
I keep telling myself that I need to make an ultimatum to myself. Completely fire on all cylinders and stop being a pansy and pull out of this slump and go game. The problem with that is that i get so motivated and focused on the pvssy that I start coming off as the creep who hits on everything in sight (read: the average PUA type dude), which is a TERRIBLE rep to gain in college.
Working Out - I've been severely slacking on my workout and diet routine. By normal standards i look great and am in good shape...six pack and relatively built...strong looking. I still hit the gym around 3ish times a week....eat pretty healthy.
However, a year or two ago i looked and felt fantastic. A girl saw me without a shirt and told me i looked like a greek god statue. I was working out 5 or 6 times a week - lifting around 3-4x, doing cardio 1-2x, yoga/stretching day 1x, and on top of that, making sure to stretch often and keep myself healthy and limber. I was eating like a fiend to put on lean muscle and my diet was on point....protein shakes multiple times a day....creatine on schedule, tons of water. I felt on top of the world. Physically and mentally.
Now though....there's no fire. I drag myself to the gym a couple times a week. Don't really plan out my routines. just kind of work whatever I feel..dont keep track of progress. Dont stretch much at all (maybe like 10 or 20 minutes once a weeek), almost NEVER do cardio or running. Yoga- definately not...too much work.
I have a self defeating mindset. My thoughts as of late are like they used to be before i found game. I see super hot girls all over and think "i'll never get them. I couldnt when i didnt have any game....and now that i do, it's just a tease because i get so close but it never happens. And if it does it's by luck" "Why even try?"
I have bursts where i get extremely confident. I'm completely in state, and I look and feel great. Girls are checking me out like crazy and giving me eyes. But i make excuses. I rationalize. I think "i'm the ****. that girl just eyefvcked me like crazy. I could close her and meet up with her and make her completely fall for me.." BUT I DONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I let it slide by. I make excuses and rationalize like no other.
I know that I have what it takes but i'm letting my prime years of being young and 23-24 and in college surrounded by some of the hottest girls i've ever SEEN slip away simply because im too lazy. I have qualities that would make other guys say "WHY the hell is he not trying for that? If i had what he had, i'd be all over that."
Like I said....this is mainly just a rant. i needed to get this off my chest. Dont expect many people to read this entire post. But hopefully it resonates with a few of you. And what i'm really hoping is that my b!tching pisses a couple of you guys off enough to tell me to get off my a$$ and motivate me with some tough love.
Over the past few months i've grown complacent. In almost all aspects of myself as a man. Luckily, the one area I haven't been lacking in is cultivating my skillset for my career. I'm in audio/video production and i've had a huge hunger for knowledge. i've been pouring over books and articles and tutorial videos...sometimes spending up to 6 or 7 hours a day outside of my normal school work to learn more and inform myself, and then going into the lab to apply what i've learned.
However, my game has been slipping. I came into this semester on a mission (like I usually do) to work on my skills with girls and...obviously...bang as many cute girls as i can and maybe find a great GF i can spend a couple months with. I started out relatively strong. Last year i had lowered my standards to the point where i was banging girls that I really wasnt attracted to. These girls weren't cows. By the average man's standards (non-DJ), they would definately be bangable, especially as a ONS. However, after a few one night stands with various girls, i kept calling them up even though they were poor in bed, had lame/boring personalities, and quite honestly didnt even turn me on. I just figured it was better to be laid by mediocre chicks than not be laid at all, and took the "go bang 10 other girls" advice way too seriously.
I deserve better than that. I'm very good looking, have a fantastic personality, and my game for the most part is tight. However, lately... i'm gettting extremely frustrated. It's hard to get ANYWHERE with girls that meet my standards and whom I consider "hot". NOTHING has been panning out. I had a couple decent leads....a couple coffee dates with very cute chicks that never panned out. I was banging this one cute girl for a while...but i was just leading her on. She was cute enough to bang....but i wasnt interesting in dating her. I knew i could do better but i had no other options.
When it comes to day game, i'm so fvcking lazy. I cant remember the last number close i got that wasnt from a night out at the bars or from Tinder. Those have been my two primary sources of leads...which is part of the problem. The girls on tinder....there are some gems, but for the most part it's low quality. And the super hot ones are just on there for attention. And as far as the bar...if i'm being honest with myself, i use alcohol as a crutch and almost always get so drunk that one of two things end up happening: 1) I'm so drunk that my game is sloppy so i blow it with a cute girl, or 2) im drunk to the point where i'm uninhibited and feel like a boss because im making out with girls and racking up numbers...but after adding them on facebook or making plans to meet up...i find that these girls are mediocre, and i lose any desire to really pursue them beyond a quick lay.
I havent been reading a lot of game material like i had for a while, which is a shame because it really boosts my confidence and keeps my game tight. I'm just getting disheartened and havent even been following up on good leads because my rationale is "what's the point....i'm either going to meet them and be disappointing and feel bad because i led them on...or they're going to be cute and fun and awesome and nothing is going to pan out."
I mean i guess compared to most people on the forum i've done okay for myself. Since the beginning of the year, i've probably slept with....idk maybe like 8 girls? If i had to guess. And honestly most of them were very decent by most people's standards. But that's not enough for me. I want to be banging those 8 or 9 or 10s that everyone else drools over. But more importantly i want to find a high enough quality girl that I not only want to have sex with but also spend time with, have fun with, share my interests, look forward to hanging out with, and even potentially date.
I'm honestly lonely most of the time. Almost all of my close friends have graduated or moved away. I dont even have one decent social circle at this college that I can hang with or meet people through. I have a couple of random friends that i can call up to party with or whatever...but beyond that, i feel pretty alone. Maybe part of the problem is my location. The college environment is so dependent on social circles and being accepted into groups.
I keep telling myself that I need to make an ultimatum to myself. Completely fire on all cylinders and stop being a pansy and pull out of this slump and go game. The problem with that is that i get so motivated and focused on the pvssy that I start coming off as the creep who hits on everything in sight (read: the average PUA type dude), which is a TERRIBLE rep to gain in college.
Working Out - I've been severely slacking on my workout and diet routine. By normal standards i look great and am in good shape...six pack and relatively built...strong looking. I still hit the gym around 3ish times a week....eat pretty healthy.
However, a year or two ago i looked and felt fantastic. A girl saw me without a shirt and told me i looked like a greek god statue. I was working out 5 or 6 times a week - lifting around 3-4x, doing cardio 1-2x, yoga/stretching day 1x, and on top of that, making sure to stretch often and keep myself healthy and limber. I was eating like a fiend to put on lean muscle and my diet was on point....protein shakes multiple times a day....creatine on schedule, tons of water. I felt on top of the world. Physically and mentally.
Now though....there's no fire. I drag myself to the gym a couple times a week. Don't really plan out my routines. just kind of work whatever I feel..dont keep track of progress. Dont stretch much at all (maybe like 10 or 20 minutes once a weeek), almost NEVER do cardio or running. Yoga- definately not...too much work.
I have a self defeating mindset. My thoughts as of late are like they used to be before i found game. I see super hot girls all over and think "i'll never get them. I couldnt when i didnt have any game....and now that i do, it's just a tease because i get so close but it never happens. And if it does it's by luck" "Why even try?"
I have bursts where i get extremely confident. I'm completely in state, and I look and feel great. Girls are checking me out like crazy and giving me eyes. But i make excuses. I rationalize. I think "i'm the ****. that girl just eyefvcked me like crazy. I could close her and meet up with her and make her completely fall for me.." BUT I DONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I let it slide by. I make excuses and rationalize like no other.
I know that I have what it takes but i'm letting my prime years of being young and 23-24 and in college surrounded by some of the hottest girls i've ever SEEN slip away simply because im too lazy. I have qualities that would make other guys say "WHY the hell is he not trying for that? If i had what he had, i'd be all over that."
Like I said....this is mainly just a rant. i needed to get this off my chest. Dont expect many people to read this entire post. But hopefully it resonates with a few of you. And what i'm really hoping is that my b!tching pisses a couple of you guys off enough to tell me to get off my a$$ and motivate me with some tough love.
