situation:dominating female at work

[strey]

heres the deal: i am involved right now with a certain project at work, and the project manager is a mid-30's, well-educated, single, financially endowed woman. the company i work for is a male dominated company and almost all of senior management is male. only about one or two other women have equal seniority as this lady within this company.
the project we are working on now has roughly about 10 team members. all of them except her and another female are men. during meetings, she generally verbally demands and gives orders like its going out of style to all of the men. she is on a high horse and tries to delegate with an iron fist(so to speak), but has to act this way to prove to upper management that she can kick some ass and has what it takes. but co-workers have also come to notice that she doesn't talk the same way to women on the project as she does the men. she seems to be getting off on telling guys what to do.
and everytime i turn around, this **** is in my face giving me some stupid bull**** to do. everyone at work thinks she is sexually frustrated. she drinks and gets hammered, but she needs some **** bad it seems. but we have deemed that the only man that could be with her has to be a complete *****, coz no real man would stand for this **** in the bedroom. i stand for it at work, and it is bad enough!! does anyone have any advice or comments on this? any similar situations?

p.s. i know the only real solution would be to get another job or try to bang her, but aside form that i would like to hear what people have to say....

 

[mikeraw]

What I would do is ask her out. Not a one on one thing, if possible, but with a more social feel rather than a work-related outing... Then, after a few drinks, if she starts trying to tell you what to do, talk to her like a little kid. Tell her that you SOMETIMES let her get away with that tone in the office because she has to prove that she has what it takes...that she is a woman, hear her roar! Etc, etc...

The trick is to belittle her by talking to her like you would a 5 yr old throwing a hissy fit... Use a different tone of voice, like you would on a chihuahua triyng to get out of hand...

If anything, at least she won't make much eye contact next time she goes on the warpath at work... and if she doesn, lean back and smile at her like you can see through her charade... then she might be able to skip you in the future whenever she's yelling orders.

Oh, and yea, try to f*ck her.

 

[Mr. Me]

She's aggressive for the reason you suspect: that she's swimming with the men and that's what she feels she needs to be like in order to be effective and gain respect. That may factor into why she has that position as well, so management will back her up, even if privately they express a sentiment similar to yours. In fact, if they do, it may be a ploy to feign comradery and smoke you out as a subversive employee. It also could be used against you someday by someone in your confidence today who later turns out to be an opportunist. What you say can be used against you, and it probably will. Never make known at work how you feel negatively about your co-workers. It may be too late to tell you this, but don't make public your disdain for her.

As she's your manager, do what she says, don't show an attitude. That "she needs a good f#cking" mentality is an immature way to see the situation.

What you can do is show that she doesn't get to you. It's all in a day's work insofar as you're concerned.

 

[SharpGame]

How she treats the women is irrelevant. This, like any other sh!t test, is to verify that you are competent and capable. The best way to deal with her is to not get rattled by her and confidently assure her of your abilities by doing your job well.

Be proactive with her. When she asks something of you, anticipate any other related items she may need and fulfill them. Go above and beyond and get in the habit of saying "I'm on top of it" and mean it. (Note, this does NOT mean kissing her a$$ - just being your best.) Once you establish her trust in your competence, you'll notice she'll start treating you differently than every other guy and she can become a valuable allie to you.

If that doesn't work, fvck the living daylights out of her.

 

[Phyzzle]

Reminds me of this article.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/female_boss_walking_around

 

[jophil28]

the project we are working on now has roughly about 10 team members. all of them except her and another female are men.
..

This post is a salutary reminder of how badly women execute power in the workplace.
THis woman is your project manager ? So she is one rung above you .
You can look forward to a project fiiled with dramatic outbursts, hissy fits, decisions being changed on her whim, back stabbing and general uproar.
You will observe the factions and triangles forming within the team.. perhaps they are shaping up already.
Get ready for the blaming and shaming from her , and expect bloody miserable progress. Targets will not be met because there will be little cohesion and even less leadership from her..

I have a rule for myself never to position myself below a woman in the pecking order. NEVER !

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Follow Mr. Me's advice. As well as - use humor and charm to deflect the nonsense. Display confidence.

Where I might take exception to Mr. Me's advice is to comply with anything and everything she asks you to do. For instance, if she has unrealistic expectations, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and call her on it. Just make sure you do it in a professional manner.

I always tell the younger workers at my job "If your client asks you to jump off the Empire State Building, would you do it?"

 

[ZenGodMod]

I understand the situation the op is in. Recently had a new a new senior female manager installed into our team. Slowly she grew a bad rep as thick plushy stupid cow. Some of the directors have even called her a idiot but they don't have the balls to tell her in her face.

The reason so is men still treat women as special cases and women have capitalised on that. And because of that they either treat her as a special case or special dislike.

But if for a split second men treated her like a man, the attitudes would change. We would pity her and try our best to help her become better at her job which for the life of her she doesn't know she is screwing it up.

We'd grab her to by the shoulder and take her to the side say 'look here, your not doing this right. Your attitude is wrong. Your ideas suck etc' then offer some serious advice. When done, pat her the back and work with her. Which eventually i had to do not because she was not a stupid cow, her thoughts where narrow minded and couldn't see the bigger picture. All i did because i didn't have an negative emotional attitude towards her was to expand her narrow views.

She's now a great member of the team the adds value to the decision making process by offering an alternative view.

 

[SoCalMike]

heres the deal: i am involved right now with a certain project at work, and the project manager is a mid-30's, well-educated, single, financially endowed woman. the company i work for is a male dominated company and almost all of senior management is male. only about one or two other women have equal seniority as this lady within this company.
the project we are working on now has roughly about 10 team members. all of them except her and another female are men. during meetings, she generally verbally demands and gives orders like its going out of style to all of the men. she is on a high horse and tries to delegate with an iron fist(so to speak), but has to act this way to prove to upper management that she can kick some ass and has what it takes. but co-workers have also come to notice that she doesn't talk the same way to women on the project as she does the men. she seems to be getting off on telling guys what to do.
and everytime i turn around, this **** is in my face giving me some stupid bull**** to do. everyone at work thinks she is sexually frustrated. she drinks and gets hammered, but she needs some **** bad it seems. but we have deemed that the only man that could be with her has to be a complete *****, coz no real man would stand for this **** in the bedroom. i stand for it at work, and it is bad enough!! does anyone have any advice or comments on this? any similar situations?

p.s. i know the only real solution would be to get another job or try to bang her, but aside form that i would like to hear what people have to say....

DO NOT try to bang her.

How you handle it at work depends on how much power she has. If you can basically just ignore what she tells you to do, I would go that route.

If you can't ignore what she tries to tell you, then try being polite and professional first, and explain your reasons for why you can't always do the bull**** she tells you to. Lie if you have to, say you're busy with XYZ and will do it as soon as you can, etc.

If that doesn't work, try talking to others with more power than she has. Take it up a level, to her boss. Complain that she is treating you poorly, is being rude, pushy, too overbearing, whatever you would call it.

The basic idea here is, if you need this job badly, if this is your life, then do not risk losing it over some dumb cvnt. If that is the case, and none of my advice works, you may just have to suck it up and tolerate her BS until this situation changes, e.g. you find a better job.

Good luck bro, I've been in this situation too, it is NOT fun.

 

[suavesuave]

Remember that you are immersed in the corporate world, which means that you should separate your personal feelings (which mean nothing) from the task at hand (which means everything)

What matters most here is your performance on the project, so if you value your job, you're gonna have to find a way to deal with this person. As I see it, this woman sees you as a threat...so you may want to disarm that threat in some way...again, it's your job.

The workplace is not an arena in which you want to adapt gaming principles...just look at the situation for what it is: an ambitious woman who is intimidated by men.

However, she has a position of power...so, to deal with her, you should ensure that you hold a position of favor. That means put in 100% effort, report to work on time, and help out your teammates. Basically, if you do these things, you'll command respect from her. Also, don't take anything personally. She's telling you what to do, but that's her job, right? As long as she's not drinking on the job or assulting you, she's doing nothing wrong, so do what she tells you.

But u r supposed to be a sexual threat. Otherwise u will fall into the friend zone.

 

[MaddXMan]

I used to report to a female boss who was abrupt and very demanding. I would leave the office hating her and my work on some days. But she was also looking out for me, I did a great job and she made sure I got in front of management and was fast tracked to promotion. I didn't like working for her but I saw the significant advantages and adjusted appropriately. This was when I was just starting out in my career and I credit her to being on my game today.

 

[Colossus]

Do you value your job???

If so, then dont listen to some of this crap advice you are getting here. It's your job, and she is--for the time being--your superior. "Ask her out"?!? "Try to fvck her"?!? This sounds like the fvcking high school forum.

It's simple: there is really not much you can do about it. You just have to suck it up and vent about it later. Pick your battles, man. Trying to run game on your project manager is probably the worst idea there is; next to maybe telling her she is a *****.

I know it sucks. No man wants to have to answer to a woman who has a big ball complex. So unless you can ignore her without any real consequences, you gotta deal with it. If you are going to lose your job, you might as well go out with some dignity and resign, rather than get potentially owned by dipping your pen in the company ink.