Where I live, you cannot really go out and meet women on the fly. You can't really approach a woman out grocery shopping without seeing a ring on her finger or the boyfriend around the corner. I recall trying to strike up a convo. with a woman at a bookstore coffee shop during the holidays, only to discover right off the bat she didn't want to talk to anyone. (Wouldn't make eye contact...short, curt answers). It's like if they don't know you as a member of the community to begin with, they dont' want to know you.
A Fishbowl community
I'll give you an example. Since I tend to have to commute to larger cities to find a real social life, I typically had driven down with another male single (at the time) friend. Carpool. Just the 2 of us to some of these Meetup events.
He said he was bringing 2 of his single lady friends (one was his ex-wife, he was newly wed) with him to the big city, so we rendezvous there.
I came alone, but he introduced me to them as they were my "neighbors" so-to-speak. Lived conveniently close, but here we all were in the big city at an event.
I talked to them a bit, but wanted to go mingle around with my other friends. My male friend mingled as well.
I had come back and hour later, and they were both still there at the table.....only talking to each other. So I asked them, "So...you meet any of the folks here? Do any mingling?
They said, "No, we really wanted to get out of the house. We're not open to making new friends."
I was rather dumbfounded that they'd have this attitude...I'd be like "Why go out to an event, that's geared entirely for the purpose of socializing, and not be open to socializing."
So I let the "Townies" that were joined at the hip be. They wound up bailing early as they asked their ride to do so...they got bored apparently, and wanted to go dancing.
So there ya have it. A couple of xenophobic townies on the town. (Xenophobic is a bit extreme though, lol)
To give you a back story of where I live, it's like people are still friends with their high school buddies. They could be in their 40s and 50s and still hang out with them apparently. They cherish their back water high school reunions...and aren't open to new friendships usually.
But funny thing is, I'd see a few single ladies trickle into my area from afar to be closer to their parents...and they wind up online because they discover the lack of dating opportunities in real life social setting.
Do any of you live in smaller areas that would kind of surmise a similar situation with the "Townies" and just with dating in general?
A Fishbowl community
I'll give you an example. Since I tend to have to commute to larger cities to find a real social life, I typically had driven down with another male single (at the time) friend. Carpool. Just the 2 of us to some of these Meetup events.
He said he was bringing 2 of his single lady friends (one was his ex-wife, he was newly wed) with him to the big city, so we rendezvous there.
I came alone, but he introduced me to them as they were my "neighbors" so-to-speak. Lived conveniently close, but here we all were in the big city at an event.
I talked to them a bit, but wanted to go mingle around with my other friends. My male friend mingled as well.
I had come back and hour later, and they were both still there at the table.....only talking to each other. So I asked them, "So...you meet any of the folks here? Do any mingling?
They said, "No, we really wanted to get out of the house. We're not open to making new friends."
I was rather dumbfounded that they'd have this attitude...I'd be like "Why go out to an event, that's geared entirely for the purpose of socializing, and not be open to socializing."
So I let the "Townies" that were joined at the hip be. They wound up bailing early as they asked their ride to do so...they got bored apparently, and wanted to go dancing.
So there ya have it. A couple of xenophobic townies on the town. (Xenophobic is a bit extreme though, lol)
To give you a back story of where I live, it's like people are still friends with their high school buddies. They could be in their 40s and 50s and still hang out with them apparently. They cherish their back water high school reunions...and aren't open to new friendships usually.
But funny thing is, I'd see a few single ladies trickle into my area from afar to be closer to their parents...and they wind up online because they discover the lack of dating opportunities in real life social setting.
Do any of you live in smaller areas that would kind of surmise a similar situation with the "Townies" and just with dating in general?