single mom feeling down

[pyros]

Hi.

I met this 27 years old single mom two months ago. The thing is she is a foreigner and some days ago she had to go back to her country and she left her kid there with her family and his dad (her ex husband) who lives there as well. The kid is gonna be there for the following six months.

So she came back two days ago and called me to see me. We had a fun time but I knew she would be feeling pretty sad because of the kid being away for the next six months, so at one point she did get sad and cried a bit. I tried to make her feel better.

The thing is, she came to my place and she went to bed and when I went to kiss her she did kiss me but she was feeling pretty tired and she just fell asleep. The thing is during the night she did not hug me or anything. I was our third time sleeping together (I mean sleeping, without sex).

Next morning she got pissed because I did not want to drive her back to her place because she lives 40 mins away from me, I was tired and I had some stuff to do, so I told her that she should get the underground. She did not even kiss me because she was upset.

Next day she texted me to say that she was feeling pretty down because of her kid being away, that she just wanted to be alone, and that she did not want any relationship now. I said ok, and to take care. She wished me the same.


Now, I dont really want to have a serious relationship with this woman but on the other hand I feel bad for her, so I'd like to give her comfort in some way, but since she told me that she wants to be alone (ie not with me) I dont know.


Opinions? Thanks.

 

[Kailex]

Run from this woman.

She's slept over three times and you guys haven't had sex? You just kiss and that's it? You are just her sleeping partner and nothing more.

Who cares what her situation is? Stop white knighting immediately. You are giving her all of the benefits of a relationship without her giving you any.

She told you she wants to be alone, grant her that wish, FOREVER.

She has no sexual interest in you, there's no reason for you to "comfort" her. She can go get comfort from a female friend or some other guy who has more time to waste than you have.

How about you find someone with a less complicated situation?

 

[pyros]

we had sex twice (over 1.5 months period), but it was pretty disappointing.

I feel bad for her, and I appreciate her, but as you said it seems she wanted to have all the benefits of a bf but without sex involved. Besides she has other problems going on, but the thing about her kid is the biggest.

 

[Tictac]

Single parenting is a load you cannot understand until you've done it.

It's good that you feel for her.

But the physical, mental and emotional issues with being a single parent are there and won't be going anywhere soon.

 

[Cremasta]

Now, I dont really want to have a serious relationship with this woman

Right here is the most important part of your post.

I don't have a problem with single mums, but this one has other issues and you are going to spend a lot of time, effort (and probably money) trying to make her feel good.

You've only known her for two months, so you don't have any obligations to her.
Looking out for others is admirable, but this girl is going to cost you, with very little benefit coming your way.

 

[Maximummax]

She is going to dump you soon and chase that alpha cawk pretty soon I guarantee it

 

[Maximus Rex]

Do Not Reply To This Thread

....and here's why. pyros digging a hole for himself that is gradually getting deeper and deeper. One more than one occasion, we (the Don Juans,) of So Suave had told ole boy to leave ole girl alone because nothing good can come from dealing with this chick. The only advice pryos will take is advice that's congruent to a predetermined course of action that he already wants to take. For example, when he was inquiring about on how to maintain a sexual relationship baby girl, Rex told dude to do this.

Tell her that it isn't going to work out with her because she complains too damn much and that you get the feeling that she doesn't appreciate your company. Also, tell her that she's not as sexually active as you'd like. When she goes in with that, "You only want me for sex." Or that, "There's more to a relationship than sex." In response to the first question, you say, "I did want you for something other than sex, but one more than one occasion, you'd displayed negative character traits that don't and mostly won't deal with."

If she hits you with the second response tell her, "You're actually right, but wouldn't you agree that sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship? She has to say, "Yes," if she doesn't you drop her for lying. If she reluctantly agrees, then you say, "Well I view sex on a regular basis as a very important part of a healthy relationship and you seem to have problems with having sex on a regular basis, so instead of going behind your back and seeking sex elsewhere, it's best for the both of us to end our relationship here before feelings get involved, but WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS. , http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=214210

Also, these threads are about baby girl,

"Girl Delaying Sex, "http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=213754

"Banging a Girl Turns Out in Weird Situation
," http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=213907

"FWB Trying to Make You Jealous," http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215292

In "Attention Wh-ore + Annoying," http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=214210&page=2, Post #29, pyros says the following,

First, IM NOT GONNA GET INVOLVED WITH HER KID, ever.

I like her company but I just want a fling, nothing serious. It would be nice to 'date' her for three or four months, nothing more. No kids involved, so no money spent on them. After this time I'll break up with her, or actually I'll tell her to just be friends.

She would like to find a 'husband' or something like that, but that's not me and she knows it, so... just casual relationship.

Now in today's thread pyros says this,

Now, I dont really want to have a serious relationship with this woman but on the other hand I feel bad for her, so I'd like to give her comfort in some way, but since she told me that she wants to be alone (ie not with me) I dont know.

If you'll would go back and read the reads, you'll where dear ole Rex told pryos that he was probably lying to the board about this being just a "fling," and he probably has more feelings this woman that he was admitting. This thread makes it clear that he indeed does want more from her than a causal relationship, why else would he need advice on how to console her about a kid that he said that he didn't want to be involved with. It's either that or dude is just that desperate for a steady supply of nookie.

 

[The_411]

What is a pity relationship? Why in the world you have a relationship out of pity? If you are going to be in a relationship it should because you enjoy the other person's company, they are willing to do things for you and invest energy andthey are fun to be around.

From what you've described it sound sas if you you're banging a hooker and listening to her tales of woe.

 

[pyros]

I do not have any feelings for her, at least not romantic ones.
I just wanted to make her feel better as I would do for any 'friend', but since she prefers to be alone, so be it.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I know others have posted replies and you seem to have got what you wanted, but let me contribute because many are unnecessarily posting about the woman.

When the problem is with YOU.

This is an issue with a lot of men (especially those with a scarcity mindset), and it's something that these men simply don't understand.

...We had a fun time but I knew she would be feeling pretty sad because of the kid being away for the next six months, so at one point she did get sad and cried a bit. I tried to make her feel better.

The thing is, she came to my place and she went to bed and when I went to kiss her she did kiss me but she was feeling pretty tired and she just fell asleep. The thing is during the night she did not hug me or anything. I was our third time sleeping together (I mean sleeping, without sex).

Next morning she got pissed because I did not want to drive her back to her place because she lives 40 mins away from me, I was tired and I had some stuff to do, so I told her that she should get the underground. She did not even kiss me because she was upset.

Next day she texted me to say that she was feeling pretty down because of her kid being away, that she just wanted to be alone, and that she did not want any relationship now. I said ok, and to take care. She wished me the same.


Now, I dont really want to have a serious relationship with this woman but on the other hand I feel bad for her, so I'd like to give her comfort in some way, but since she told me that she wants to be alone (ie not with me) I dont know.

Emphasis on the bold...it seems by this that you want to be her FRIEND...so when she's felling down she comes to you for comfort.

You say that you don't want a serious relationship with her, but what do you really want?

Because you said:

I just wanted to make her feel better as I would do for any 'friend', but since she prefers to be alone, so be it.

but you also said:

we had sex twice (over 1.5 months period), but it was pretty disappointing.

If you want to be her friend why did you f*ck her? And not even once but twice?

And then complain that it was "disappointing"...what did you expect?

I found out a long time ago that you can only be ONE of three things to a woman.

Here's how it goes:

If you're her lover, you CAN'T be her friend, if you're her friend, you CAN'T be her lover and if you're foolish enough to attempt to do both...then you're her B*TCH.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Dude, Stop It

I do not have any feelings for her, at least not romantic ones.
I just wanted to make her feel better.

Why would you want to do that? I you just wanted a fling with this chick? For you to even comprehend the thought of offering some sort of consolation concerning her child shows you have some sort of feelings toward her. If she was purely a bed buddy, you could care less. The sooner you stop lying to yourself in regards to your feelings about this chick, the better off you'll be.

 

[El Payaso]

No contact.