Single Milf borrowed money and exchanged phone numbers

[bugsy]

Hi guys, i need your advice about the following.
Few days ago, this milf i know for awhile from seeing at public hangouts, we sometimes greet eachother when we pass eachother or she is in the same place as me. I realy fancy this lady (her looks, still good looking for her age +45, but i didnt know she was single untill recently, when we met eachother at some public hangout. I always check her out, when i see her, sometimes subtily and sometimes more openly so she knows, that one time she told me she was married and got divorced last year and she has a daughter of 18 years old. she works as a maid at some office.

She sometimes teases me and she gave me also some kino by hitting me softly on the arm and sometimes she bumped her hips next to mine when we were at a standing at a table.
I always act cool when all this happened, but i made sure i kept being outgoing at the same time. So, i was like why is she like this? What does she want

After 15 minutes she said she was waiting for her money to be deposit on her bankaccount, but she had to wait till 5 pm, and it was now 4 pm, so she asked if she could borrow 30 bucks to play at the tables, and that she would give it back as soon as the money is on her account. I hesitated first but i thought what a heck its only 30 bucks and i trust her, she asked what my phone number was so she could call me (or i call her)when she has the money to pay it back. So i gave her 30 bucks and we exchange numbers. i said its allright, and she said she will pay it back tomorrow and asked if i would be here again tomrrow. I said i dunno, maybe but im not sure. She left and i went on doing my stuff.

the next day she paid my money back and she thanked me for borrowing money to her. i said its cool,np. we went our own ways seperately after that. and i didnt went after her to hang out with her.

after this, i've saw her a few times in the public hangout and i noticed her but i did go over to have a chat with her, i just acted cool and going my own bussiness. If however out eyes met eachother coincedently i would greet her and smile at her. she does the same.

after a several months orso this scenario almost happened again. she asked if she could borrow 30 bucks and she would pay it back and we should exchange numbers. i said i have your number already , your name is shara right? yes, call me she says , right now. and yes her phone rang. we departed again, and she asked if i would be here at this hangout tomorrow again and i said i dunno im not sure. i was thinking again why would she want to borrow afew bucks again and pay it back tomorrow? its not much, and i am cool with it, but it's still odd why she would do this, if she doesnt want to hook up with me, or she thought i was a easy prey? or whatever reason. or am i just stupid that i did not move a step further and try to find if she wants more than this casual contact. i want to bang her but im also kinda cool if that does not happen.

I just want to know what your opion is of all this, what should you do if a girl asks if she may borrow some money? Is she somehow playing and testing me or do you think she wants me to go after her? what should you do, if you were me? any tips , to do's or not do's? i just want to learn how i can take this to the next step without blowing this up.

cheers all, let me know what your thoughts are? thanks alot

 

[Down Low]

This is common behavior among women regulars at casinos. Unfortunately, she's treating you like one of the girls.

 

[bugsy]

hey mauser, thanks for your reply.
i had already thought about your sketched up scenario in my mind, and i was already determined to say hell no!, if she would give me crap like that to ask me to borrow large sum of money, it wouldn't matter whatever crisis she has. I have some principles and bounderies that i follow in this regard. So no worries.

i was thinking about this to try:
1) ask her to borrow something from her, like money or something else. and see how she reacts. i could even try to promise her, she will get it back next day, but then i purposely don't show up, and see if she will phone me or text me?

i dont think she is really a golddigger or using me per se, i saw her spend plenty of money on the tables (around 5 hundred bucks), so 30 bucks compared to that is nothing. Offcourse she knows i have a good job, because i told her, and one of her best female friends was a ex-collegaue of mine, so she knows i m not a bump. And besides most woman are attracted to money, and status, dont they?

I forgot to mention that she did gave me mixed signs though, for example:
- when i was checking her out, and she caught me checking her boobs out, she would close her jacket. Is she shy? or whats wrong im a man...and i dont care.

-The 2nd time she borrowed money and returned it back, she was already at the hangout that day, and i arrived late. I didn't immediately go searching after her, but i just went after a drink and have some chit chat with some acquaintances. After having just arrived there for a few minutes at the hangout, someone tapped me on my shoulder and there she was, holding the 30 bucks in her hand, and said i came specially for you today, (obviously to pay back my money, but perhaps for more than this?). I was very surprised when she stood right behind me after being at the hangout so shortly. As if she was waiting for me, and was checking constantly if i arrived yet or not. I was smiling, didnt really know what to do, and acted cool when she paid back the money. She thanked me. and then stayed for a minute and wished me luck, while she was heading to another table. Should i had followed her? or at least try to be around her?

- I also noticed she was looking fine that day, she even walked on higher heels than she normally does, not too high, just a bit, while normally she weared comfortable flat shoes. She had make up.
As if she slightly dressed up a bit for this day? Not sure, though if it was for me or she did this for other reasons, hah.

Anyway i will see her at some hangout soon, where we bump to eachother again. So i want to be a bit prepared to what to do in certain scenario's, so if the guys at this forum could share their thoughts or even had similar experiences, please post here.

I've searched on the internet a bit, but could not find much about this topic. Women are such complex creatures. Giving these mixed signs, really bog my mind.

 

[Kbomb]

first, she knows your a chump. Second, why the **** are you lending money out to anyone, especially someone that you barely know? It reeks of approval seeking and is just plain stupid. How is this not already rational logic in your head?

 

[bugsy]

look, i know it all sound weird, and smells fishy here and there.
but your reaction is straightforward and i appreciate that, though somewhat thinking in white and black, good vs bad, there is no in between? i mean i pointed out that she gave mixed signals, this woman had been divorced recently, don't you think she has issues, uncertainties, and maybe has doubts herself? she doesnt seem to be very confident in what her purpose is in life. why would a woman risk getting a bad rep, and risk getting stalked by a 'stranger' she borrowed money from, especially this small amount of money?
I could be a psycho, a serial killer, a rapist , whateva...you get my point? it all doesnt seem to be that easy, imo. besides there is a age difference here, she might be 10 years older than me, so she being the older (more responsible) person, she wants to keep her frame (of being a decent woman).
She never appeared to be a *****. rather low key/normal.

just hope more people are willing to post their opinion/thoughts, or share their stories about similar situations they've been in, and what they did, and what their outcome was. I see this woman as a challenge, and im not easy to be discouraged ... hope to post my layreport here soon! ;P

btw her friend was a colleague of mine, so she has social approval im not just a complete stranger. besides we know eachothers faces from these hangouts for like 5 years now...just saying.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, Grow a f**kin' spine right the f**k now!

You haven't even f**ked this girl and you're whipped! You have her on a god damn pedestal! Stop that sh*t right now! Judge nismo is very pissed off with you right now.

Does your ass know Briffault's Law? Read it.

Does your ass know what it means when a woman throws mixed signals or is shy? Look it up. No, I'll tell you what it means. SHE'S GOT LITTLE TO NO INTEREST!

How's the weather in Friendzone, Georgia? Chilly and gloomy, I know. Blue balls and sad faces and constant worries, I know, it's normal.

You are guilty for failure to lead, emasculation, feeding the casino victim, unauthorized use of a pedestal, and chasing. Your fine is 2 blue balls, and a very briused shaft and a trip to Wussy Mountain, North Dakota. Judge nismo orders you to lead, stop playing the friend, stop bringing pedestals with you, and grow a god damn pair of balls!

Case closed. I'm disappointed in you.

 

[Burroughs]

men are clueless who don't master Briffault's law:

BRIFFAULT’S LAW:

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.


Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit

A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male

 

[bugsy]

OP, Grow a f**kin' spine right the f**k now!
How's the weather in Friendzone, Georgia? Chilly and gloomy, I know. Blue balls and sad faces and constant worries, I know, it's normal.

You are guilty for failure to lead, emasculation, feeding the casino victim, unauthorized use of a pedestal, and chasing. Your fine is 2 blue balls, and a very briused shaft and a trip to Wussy Mountain, North Dakota. Judge nismo orders you to lead, stop playing the friend, stop bringing pedestals with you, and grow a god damn pair of balls!

Case closed. I'm disappointed in you.

LOL, thanks for kicking me in the balls man! im cool..., i know i sometimes needs someone to push me or to punch me in the face in order to really get to action, but i aint caring whether if she'd ended up being my fb, gf or just a friend. There alot of fishes in the sea (thats because i fancy alot of different types of woman), she is not the only one i have interest in....jeez relax. I just want to know how you guys (casanova's and other seducers) would handle these situations, so i could learn from it).

So my question is: how would you recover from this 'disaster'? there must be some ways to get this right. i don't really like the aggressive approach towards woman, i am not a abuser and hate liars and thieves. so shoot me, this is me, i'm always hard on myself when it comes to life. Every one has its own style. Don't just copy what everyone else does. Be orginal. I dont give a **** what everyone say or think of me. I am just here to learn a few things, get some insights and especially for a good few laughs

i know i was a real AFC (and i hated it) but i can asure you i am not that bad anymore. So shoot me again All mighty Guru, teach us unworthy man how to handle woman (what a facked up world we live in)

 

[bugsy]

thanks for your positive approach, for a change!
i didnt really thought about she being supported by her ex-husband right now. she might had a good deal out of the divorcion. so yes, that explains why she often spend quite alot on the tables, while still having a job as a maid. good thought!

Somehow i do not know if i want to get too emotionally involved or get to know too much about her personal life. becuz i was thinking she might want and was looking for sex, and not have too much drama around it due to her recent past with her ex, that would be great for a start. im not really thinking about a longer term .

i like your idea to tell her what you wrote. i could see myself using this
its funny, and it has some hidden subtile intentions, and at the other end we could escalate at my place!

I am still wandering about she being the one who wanted to exchange phonenumbers, nobody on this forum has talked about this yet, there must be some cool ways which would involve us using our phone to get further into action, like textin her or having some conversation and go on from there.

 

[Valentino14]

What an idiot. This is what I mean about women walking over you and using you. She is using you for the money and you are too dumb to see it

 

[bugsy]

What an idiot. This is what I mean about women walking over you and using you. She is using you for the money and you are too dumb to see it

So if its so obvious/crystal clear to you, what would you do if you were in this same situation? would you just give up and walk away and act as if she doesnt exist? i thought don juans/casanova's are able to attract and sleep with every woman they like...

 

[Down Low]

Ah, but you're not supposed to "like" women who have toxic traits. Women like that are a dime a dozen. You're supposed to have enough self-respect to follow Anti-Dump's advice about screening, protecting your heart, and making them prove themselves to you -- not the other way around. You're supposed to keep your mind on your goals, not hers.