Signs of High Quality = Signs of Low Interest

[Desdinova]

Something I've been noticing throughout the last couple of really good girls that I've dated... Some of the things that are generally seen as signs of low interest are actually signs of quality. Here's two examples...

No response text for 4+ hours
A lot of times when guys get this, they think "Oh, she's hanging out with / fvcking some other guy" or "She's not invested enough to respond". Well believe it or not, some women are NOT addicted to their cell phones or social media. If she ignores her phone for hours at a time, there's a good chance that she's not all that interested in the drama of her peers, nor does she engage in drama herself. If you've had more than a couple of dates with her and she still has a drought of text messages, this is a GOOD sign as opposed to a bad one.

She cancels a date when she's sick
Some women feel ill more frequently than other women. It's just the way they're made. If you get a girl who more than once cancels a date with you, it's not because she has another guy to fvck. The chances are she's more concerned about passing her illness to you, even if it's nothing major. She doesn't want to take the chance of making you sick, even if it's something minor passing through her system. It shows she CARES.

The best time to read a chick is when she's in your presence. If you don't feel anything wrong when she's spending time with you, then there's nothing going on in the background. If she's not cancelling every date you've made for the past two weeks, then her IL is still high. You must do your IL evaluation when she's in your presence or else you're going to become paranoid and toss a potentially good woman to the curb.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Excellent points. All signs that a girl has a healthy amount of self respect.

Also a guy with "high quality" wouldn't be too worried about her behavior when she's not in his presence.

 

[Tictac]

Gaming women (if your end game is finding a 'quality woman' or two) is all about discovering whether a particular woman is what she seems to be (or not) or maybe a woman that doesn't initially appear to be but 'underneath' may have qualities you like.

If you try to run the 'checklist' too early on, you will fail every time.

Enjoy the game but play the game. Just don't take it too seriously, especially on the front-end.

 

[VikingKing]

Something I've been noticing throughout the last couple of really good girls that I've dated... Some of the things that are generally seen as signs of low interest are actually signs of quality. Here's two examples...

No response text for 4+ hours
A lot of times when guys get this, they think "Oh, she's hanging out with / fvcking some other guy" or "She's not invested enough to respond". Well believe it or not, some women are NOT addicted to their cell phones or social media. If she ignores her phone for hours at a time, there's a good chance that she's not all that interested in the drama of her peers, nor does she engage in drama herself. If you've had more than a couple of dates with her and she still has a drought of text messages, this is a GOOD sign as opposed to a bad one.

She cancels a date when she's sick
Some women feel ill more frequently than other women. It's just the way they're made. If you get a girl who more than once cancels a date with you, it's not because she has another guy to fvck. The chances are she's more concerned about passing her illness to you, even if it's nothing major. She doesn't want to take the chance of making you sick, even if it's something minor passing through her system. It shows she CARES.

The best time to read a chick is when she's in your presence. If you don't feel anything wrong when she's spending time with you, then there's nothing going on in the background. If she's not cancelling every date you've made for the past two weeks, then her IL is still high. You must do your IL evaluation when she's in your presence or else you're going to become paranoid and toss a potentially good woman to the curb.

My ex rarely used facebook, didnt have twitter, none of that. She also didnt text much, except for making plans with friends or school related things.

 

[MOTU]

Gaming women (if your end game is finding a 'quality woman' or two) is all about discovering whether a particular woman is what she seems to be (or not) or maybe a woman that doesn't initially appear to be but 'underneath' may have qualities you like.

If you try to run the 'checklist' too early on, you will fail every time.

Enjoy the game but play the game. Just don't take it too seriously, especially on the front-end.

^^^This. "You must spread some reputation around...".

What you are looking for has a lot to do with it. If you are looking for a quick bang, then OP is exactly right, quality could be interpreted as low interest. And this will be true because a quality chick won't blow up your phone then jump in the sack with you within 48hrs, most of the time anyway.

 

[Vulpine]

Anti-Dump was really onto "it" with regards to this "What You See Is What You Get" (WYSIWYG).

His general advocation was look at the actions, quickly, and don't deal with garbage: move on before getting sucked in.

In my experience, you can tell VERY quickly in an interaction whether a woman is a potential, or a vampire (of time, energy, attention, loads, etc.). Almost instantly after approaching, the signs present themselves: Flakey, disrespectful, unreasonable, uninterested, whatever...

So, if you are at a point where you have "passed her" to a point where you are proceeding to the next step, the phone call, if she is not congruent, she fails YOUR deployment of a sh¡t test. "She's not the real deal. ƒuck her. *dials another number*"

The whole methodology appeals to me because I personally am a hedonist and a scientist. So, it's easy to adopt a "three strikes" rule:

I don't like that.
+
I don't like that, either.
+
I don't like that. That's three.
=
I don't like her.

Of course, this is where the "checklist" offenses are typically argued. My qualifications are simple, and personalities differ, so I leave wiggle room... but I will not tolerate disinterest or disrespect. Those two are really the only two true deal-breakers. Keep it simple, done. It's out of your head, and you're on to the rest of your life without over-analyzing every little quirk and getting sucked into whatever drama/game she's pushing.

But us guys in general... ? Hell, women too...

We make things soooOOooo over complicated and difficult. Look, we meet people all the time. Haven't you met folks where you are left thinking: "Damn. That person was really easy to get along with. I really like them!"?
Of course!
Then you pursue, their not interested, and we should stop there.

But no, we push and push, just to have sex with someone ...who is not interested?

 

[Bokanovsky]

No response text for 4+ hours - this could be a sing of someone who has low interest...or someone who is really busy. Often it's both (people who are super busy generally have less interest in relationships. But just because a girl is busy/has a life/is not addicted to her cell phone does not make her "high quality".

She cancels a date when she's sick - sure, she could be legitimately sick. But it's also the easiest, most commonly used excuse for flaking. There is no way to be sure. If it's someone you know, you can give her the benefit of the doubt. If it's a first date, there's a 95% chance that sickness is just an excuse.

 

[nismo-4]

No response text for 4+ hours - this could be a sing of someone who has low interest...or someone who is really busy. Often it's both (people who are super busy generally have less interest in relationships. But just because a girl is busy/has a life/is not addicted to her cell phone does not make her "high quality".

She cancels a date when she's sick - sure, she could be legitimately sick. But it's also the easiest, most commonly used excuse for flaking. There is no way to be sure. If it's someone you know, you can give her the benefit of the doubt. If it's a first date, there's a 95% chance that sickness is just an excuse.

Sometimes you have to bring in the Channing Tatum maxim. AFAIC, women are one of two things:

1. Interested
2. Uninterested

There is no middle ground. I only give women ONE chance. If a woman flakes on your first date, you have failed. If a woman becomes distant toward you when she used to enjoy your presence, better go to another woman because it's a high chance she's moving on.

Desdinova brings up a couple of one case episodes that did not turn out to be low interest. This cannot be used as a benchmark. Hate to say it, but most of the time these signs get displayed, any sane man would drop the girl who shows these signs because they read low interest. Actions speak louder than words. Words don't mean sh*t. Show me you're high quality b**ch! I'm not gonna waste my time with uninterested women. Why should any man do that dumb sh*t? To be a beta orbiter? F**k that sh*t!

If one b**ch is giving you trouble, erase and replace her ass. It really is that simple!

Case closed.

 

[Vulpine]

Something I've been noticing throughout the last couple of really good girls that I've dated... Some of the things that are generally seen as signs of low interest are actually signs of quality. Here's two examples...

The best time to read a chick is when she's in your presence.

Excuse me, I was interrupted at the end of posting my last and didn't quite make my point.

What I was driving at is that, initially meeting a woman, you automatically do the "in your presence" qualification. If the woman is lathered up and ready to go when you meet her (in your presence), then doesn't put herself in your presence again, is un-datable. A woman can be a 10, but, if she's not datable, she's not worth bothering with. Sick, busy, whatever, it's not a matter of what sort of quality she is, but more an issue of availability.

So to tie it back in to what I was driving at before: the "machine" works to lump in the women that are "too busy" and otherwise not available into the
"not interested" column. This way you spare yourself the over-analysis and bother in general by simply moving on sooner than if you had done a "checklist" gauging.

Anti-Dump admitted that, yes, quality women may be inadvertently filtered out by this process. Indeed, there is no way to know when you are out sargin' and approaching whether the gals are actually available or not. Some may be "in the dating scene", others are just "not ready to date".

When you step back and look, of course it makes sense. I've been too busy to bother with women, but that doesn't mean I went from a HotDude "8" to a HD6 or something. No, I just was in a place in life.

But, all of us folks out bumping into each other as strangers are in different places in our lives. As much as a dude may want to tap the ass of the Betty he just met, he may have no chance, despite himself. This is where the "safety mechanism" of the machine really shines. Instead of wasting your time/life being traffic controlled into your Betty's orbiter holding pattern, waiting for her coochie to heal after an abortion, or standing by for a sunny second Monday of the month to get a shot at catching a glimpse of a boob, you're off meeting Veronica who is ready and willing.

"What you SEE is what you get". If you don't see her, you don't have sh¡t. Wondering about the quality of that chick you've only seen once? Masturbatory. Move on.

Phone calls, texty games, Faceplant... none of that is "Seeing" her. WYSIWYG.
If all you see of her is in virtual reality land, then having a high quality virtual girlfriend is a video game.

 

[VladPatton]

Valid points, but longevity and track record have a say in this. The only way you can determine if she's a so called "quality girl" is if you are with her, romantically, for a said amount of time. Only through longevity can you judge consistency of character. She can only bullshıt you for so long. A 6 month trial period should be on your "quality girl checklist".

 

[Vulpine]

A 6 month trial period should be on your "quality girl checklist".

I do 1 year, personally. If a gal meets the basic criteria, I need to watch her moods through all four seasons. Women get cagey during the winters (cabin fever), here, so there are a lot of breakups around Xmas. If a chick makes it through all the seasons, than she may have the emotional stability I require of a companion.

But that's "Full checklist", and it does take time.


Edit: verb agreement.

 

[VladPatton]

Point taken. Let it be 1 year! *slams gavel on the altar of manliness*

 

[Desdinova]

This. I don't next the girl after 1 flake of these types though, so in that sense I do agree with Des. I just dont think his exceptions to the rule really hold too much weight, these types of flakes are a pretty big red flag of low IL 9/10 times.

Yes, but it's those 10th cases that I'm talking about. We get so used to turfing women because they show these kinds of low interest signals, but it's entirely possible that we may accidently turf one solely because we're used to low interest being the norm, even if we've been dating the girl for a couple of months. It becomes habitual thinking and habitual behavior to get rid of her based on these characteristics.

I think the majority of this forum NEXTs women a bit too prematurely, and I see a lot of it done based on these two indicators of low interest. I honestly think we would be better off working on raising their interest as opposed to tossing a woman away because she isn't desperate enough to latch onto a guy who tosses a C/F comment her way. If we don't put the effort into doing a good job raising a woman's IL to the point where a date is easy to get, then we're just going to continue getting the whack jobs that we've become accustomed to dating.

I do 1 year, personally. If a gal meets the basic criteria, I need to watch her moods through all four seasons. Women get cagey during the winters (cabin fever), here, so there are a lot of breakups around Xmas. If a chick makes it through all the seasons, than she may have the emotional stability I require of a companion.

I think two years is a good amount of time before making any ultimate decision about taking on a major milestone. Yes, you've seen her go through every season and every holiday after one year. Two years is just better. You get to see it twice, and you get more information to ultimately base your decisions on.

My last LTR brought up the subject of marriage after one year. I flat out told her "I don't want to even touch this subject until we've been together for at least another year." I figured if she was loyal and dedicated enough, she would wait that extra year.

She didn't...

I feel like I dodged a bullet.

 

[Tenacity]

My issue with women (at least from my personal experience), is that the interest level is really HARD to determine most of the time due to the lack of consistency.

I've had women fvck me and date for a couple of months, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN drop off the face of the Earth.

I've had women seem disinterested the entire time but end up fvcking me when we hung out together.

I have a PHONE BOOK of numbers of women, that's how many damn telephone numbers I get from women with I would say 75% of them going absolutely NO WHERE with most not even having a telephone conversation.

I have women who never talked on the phone nor text, just wanted to hang in person who would fvck.

I guess I don't know if one can truly determine someone's interest level or not, unless you are just going based on "you asked her to come out with you and she accepted it" as well as "you tried to fvck her and she let you." If her interest level currently on September 8th at 11:45 p.m. is HIGH, the question is, what is the interest level going to be on September 12th at 5:00 p.m.? I have girls going from HOT to COLD, from COLD to HOT, within a matter of days and sometimes even hours smh.

 

[glass half full]

My issue with women (at least from my personal experience), is that the interest level is really HARD to determine most of the time due to the lack of consistency.

I've had women fvck me and date for a couple of months, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN drop off the face of the Earth.

I've had women seem disinterested the entire time but end up fvcking me when we hung out together.

I have a PHONE BOOK of numbers of women, that's how many damn telephone numbers I get from women with I would say 75% of them going absolutely NO WHERE with most not even having a telephone conversation.

I have women who never talked on the phone nor text, just wanted to hang in person who would fvck.

I guess I don't know if one can truly determine someone's interest level or not, unless you are just going based on "you asked her to come out with you and she accepted it" as well as "you tried to fvck her and she let you." If her interest level currently on September 8th at 11:45 p.m. is HIGH, the question is, what is the interest level going to be on September 12th at 5:00 p.m.? I have girls going from HOT to COLD, from COLD to HOT, within a matter of days and sometimes even hours smh.

That sounds like feminine reality. Rolling the dice. my personal opinion is that most of this thread is subjective, based on the Bolded content above. It's like burning trash. Wind is out of the west. Light the fire, then it instantly switches to the east. IOW, good luck figuring this part out.

 

[nismo-4]

Yes, but it's those 10th cases that I'm talking about. We get so used to turfing women because they show these kinds of low interest signals, but it's entirely possible that we may accidently turf one solely because we're used to low interest being the norm, even if we've been dating the girl for a couple of months. It becomes habitual thinking and habitual behavior to get rid of her based on these characteristics.

These days, these kinds of low interest signals are extremely common. If this is in trying to get the first date/ meet, showing me low interest signals equals an automatic next. It's a fact that if a woman is interested in you, she won't confuse you, stall you out, or make excuses to not see you. Many of us here aren't getting high interest, hence why sites like these exist. With that said, this is exactly why I only give a woman ONE strike.

I think the majority of this forum NEXTs women a bit too prematurely, and I see a lot of it done based on these two indicators of low interest.

So we should waste our time pursuing uninterested chicks who will peg us as beta orbiters anyway? I'll pass, but there are men who enjoy being a woman's beta orbiter. Since actions speak louder than words, why chase when it is 10 times easier to start over from square one?

I honestly think we would be better off working on raising their interest as opposed to tossing a woman away because she isn't desperate enough to latch onto a guy who tosses a C/F comment her way.

I like this idea, but easier said than done. How do we raise low IL without chasing her?

If we don't put the effort into doing a good job raising a woman's IL to the point where a date is easy to get, then we're just going to continue getting the whack jobs that we've become accustomed to dating.

If only we made a thread on raising IL and keeping it high.

I think two years is a good amount of time before making any ultimate decision about taking on a major milestone. Yes, you've seen her go through every season and every holiday after one year. Two years is just better. You get to see it twice, and you get more information to ultimately base your decisions on.

My last LTR brought up the subject of marriage after one year. I flat out told her "I don't want to even touch this subject until we've been together for at least another year." I figured if she was loyal and dedicated enough, she would wait that extra year.

I agree.

She didn't...

I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Read betwe- You know what to do.

 

[Tenacity]

But guys, is it truly possible to influence a girl's interest level directly? It's obvious that you can do things that will REDUCE a girl's interest level from high to medium to low, or from medium to low, but unless we are talking about that same girl that I just caused to lose interest....how can a guy take a girl that out of the gate had low interest and increase it? She's sees how you look, your personality, what you are about, etc., and she has low interest. Isn't it just a dead cause at that point?

From my experience, I just focus on looking right, keeping my money/car/place right, and staying in a good convo with an solid personality. From there, it's just a numbers game where some girls have high interest, some mild interest, some low or no interest. I from there just focus on the high interest and mild interest chicks rather than trying to kiss a.ss to the low interest chick.

 

[channingtatum]

If you ask her to hang out and she says yes = she likes you
If you ask her to hang out and she says no = she doesn't like you
If she asks you to hang out = she likes you

Trying to figure out to what degree she likes you, whether she'll continue to like you into the future, whether if one day 10 years down the road she'll drop you is literally a waste of your time because you will never know.

 

[Krueg]

All you need to focus on when dating women is one word. YES! It is Yes to getting the number, Yes to your dates.

Some of you guys dont understand how "nexting" works.. To keep it simple, you get rid of women in your life who arent really Interested in You! If she cancels dates more than once on you, why waste your time? If she really likes you she will make time to see you. Some girls have a busy schedule, you can play the waiting game but their usually INFLEXIBLE and things wouldnt work.

 

[Pandora]

From my experience, I just focus on looking right, keeping my money/car/place right, and staying in a good convo with an solid personality. From there, it's just a numbers game where some girls have high interest, some mild interest, some low or no interest. I from there just focus on the high interest and mild interest chicks rather than trying to kiss a.ss to the low interest chick.

This is gold right here. This is exactly my philosophy. All you can do is try to keep urself as attractive as can be. The rest is a numbers game. I try not to take it personally. Women have all types of weird azz reasons they pass up good guys. You would be shocked at how ridiculous their reasons are. In the next 10 years we will see an epidemic of women who regret how fickle they were in their prime years.