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Show me your cold bar approaches

One on One

Master Don Juan
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I'm really struggling with how to approach a girl at a bar and try to pick her up. I have gotten past the confidence issue, but I am not sure of what to say during an approach. I can go up to her and say "Hey, what's up?" but then what do you talk about. I think it would bore her just asking where she goes to school and if she works and all that. I think I'd sound uptight. What should one talk about? Should you make a joke about something, keep it partyish? Concrete examples please....
 

Knicknack

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man you want us to give you some script or something? not gonna happen. she will drop little hints as to what you should be talkin about. if she says she goes to school somewhere, you should ask how she likes the school and the area around it, what sorority she is in, her major, etc... it aint hard.

i doubt you have the confidence thing down if you need help with this.
 

spanky

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Dave, my man, I can tell you what I do
on cold apparoaches with success that is to my satisfaction and one of my pals who is a natural DJ when we go out to clubs or bars.

We simply go up to the woman of interest, introduce ourselves, and get their name in return. My next question usually is something as simple as "so what brings you to a wild place like this tonight?" This is funny when it is not a wild place.

The woman would say something like
"oh it is my friend's birthday?"

Then I would say something like "do you only come out on birthdays?"
-this is just to get her to say something else that I can better use to
carry the conversation such as her saying "Well, she is my best friend and I drove all the way from Atlanta just to help her celebrate her birthday."

Bingo! She just told me she is from Atlanta. Now I can use Atlanta in many different ways since I have been there and hear so much about it. I can keep her talking at this point. I throw in some humor with funny facial expressions and animation (my personal gimmick that usally gets at least a smile).

So I don't try many tricks during the first phase of my approach. I concentrate on flow. To keep up a good flow, I will always use the response my target gives me to keep the conversation rolling. Eventually, I slip in some humor, maybe a short funny story, or some physical animation or gestures to hold their interest, and eventually kino (usually by the time I get to the animated humor, she will be the one initiating some form of touch- the "you so crazy" light punch on the shoulder or something). After all of this, I expect to get the number with no problems. My friend doesn't do as much as I.

My friend usually just have a casual conversation with humor and some form of touching, take her to the dance floor for a lot of up close dancing and touching.


In other words, I wouldn't be concerned with trying some rocket science approach initially. Approach woman of interest-ask her a simple or interesting question- use her responses to make the conversation flow. Don't interrupt her!

Once you have mastered carrying the conversation in a bar on a cold approach (practice makes perfect as always) then you willl learn how to throw in the other stuff like getting her excited as quick as possible to get the number and move on.

I believe that if you begin by trying to use everything you learned in the Bible on cold approaches all on one approach, you will master none of them. Don't concentrate on the number; concentrate on the conversation i.e. every single word that comes out of her mouth with a look of feigned interest if she is boring.

You may not "hit" most of your targets initially as you are becoming more effective with the technique, shaping and molding it to your own style.


The more you do it, the quicker you will become very natural at it.

BTW, I use this technique on the streets, in the bar, in the airport, at the pool, in the grocery store, at the mall, at the stop light, and so on. An approach is an approach. so-
 

drixsa

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opened ended questions are good b/c they cannot answer yes/no

when i first started, posts by pimpologist were really good b/c they show you the real basics of open conversation

just make sure though that your questions and comments dont sound like an interview

you may jus be puttin to much pressure on yourself
 

Paradox

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Originally posted by dave134
I can go up to her and say "Hey, what's up?" but then what do you talk about. I think it would bore her just asking where she goes to school and if she works and all that. I think I'd sound uptight. What should one talk about?
There is a whole section on conversation in the DJ Bible. READ IT.

The best opening line is still "Hi, My name is ____________"

The best way to carry on a flowing conversation is to ask open ended questions. These are questions that have more than just a yes or no answer.

Asking about school or work is common. Ask her what her favorite types of food are. Ask her about her favorite movies, books, plays, TV shows. Find out what you have in common with her.
 

Paradox

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Ok I said the same thing as drixsa. I think he posted as I was typing and thinking.

Great answer drixsa.:)
 
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