Should you pay for dinner? Yes

[TheChosenJuan]

Contrary to popular belief, paying for a woman's dinner has nothing to do with "buying affection". The initial attraction has already been established from the fact she's out on a date with you. The question here is WHY aren't you paying? Because you're worried about looking like a wuss. In other words, it's insecurity no matter what anybody tells you.

Confident guys pay because we want to.

 

[Warrior74]

I've gone dutch, I've paid, I've let her pay. It doesn't really matter much. Hell I've told girls they are paying for my dinner before hand. It's all in how you do it, with confidence or with fear and a chip on your shoulder.

 

[SleepyRangerMedic82D]

Eh I personally will pay, but generally aim to pick a 1st date that doesn't require much money.. Something like getting a cup or coffee or doing something fun but free. Call me cheap, but I only date women who have a steady career, or are in school and working towards one. I wont deal with a woman who doesn't have her stuff together and can't afford herself. But that is just me

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

You can pay, as long as it isn't the first date. YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE A GIRL FOR DINNER ON THE FIRST DATE! Not even a 2nd date, I'd say dinner would wait for a 3rd date. 1st date should be at most a coffee, or something free. That way, either one can bail when they want if things don't go right. Only chumps take girls for dinner on a first date and pay for it.

Now, after you figure she likes you and you like her, then take her out for dinner and pay for her. After the 2nd date, I don;t think it's a bad idea.. but don't go to fancy places that charge big bucks for dinner, keep it relatively inexpensive.

 

[Warrior74]

btw. I usually only take a chic to dinner or the movies after I have been fvcking her for a while. I do the cofee date or drinks for a first meet. I don't pay for that.

 

[Err0r]

Funny how every girl ive dated i have taken them to dinner and paid. This questions is brought up to many times. Dinner is harmless and spending $30 isn't going to break your wallet (hope not) regardless if it works out or not. Take her out to cofee isn't a bad idea, but dont avoid the dinner date because of what your reading here.

 

[Berlex]

nah, dine and dash...women love spontaneity!

 

[#41]

Dinner isn't a bad first date as long as it isn't the only thing going on and/or of it's a spontaneous suggestion during another part of the date that is going well ("Hey, I'm hungry -- I know this great Mediterranean place up the road.").

The key, IMO, to a good dinner date early on in the process is going someplace a little off the beaten path or someplace with great atmosphere (a great view, a great patio, a neat location, good live music, etc.). You want her to remember how fun it was to be with you where you were, not so much how delicious and amazing the food was.

 

[Cinamon]

I think most women prefer to go dutch on the first couple of dates, i know i do, and depending on how much interaction you have had with the person first, dinner can be a bit formal and intense. I prefer coffee, walk along the local river bank, or something similar.

On the issue of money, if the lady earns more than the guy, is she expected to pick up the bill? What is appropriate etiquette?

 

[Joe Stud]

I pay for dinner, at a moderate joint, because I want to. An Alpha male who picks up the dinner tab is not a p----. If she thinks he is, its HER warped judgement, and shes low quality. I take the high road, and continue to lead her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am surprised and impressed by the responses on this thread

Obviously, it is wrong to try to impress a first date by taking her to an expensive dinner that you can't really afford. It is pedestal behavior, supplication, and a lot of other bad vibes that don't get you laid. And there are serial dating women out there, especially on Internet dating personal ads, who make a hobby out of taking advantage of AFC behavior. All of that is true.

But I typically always pay, regardless. I never take a girl anywhere I can't afford, and much more importantly anywhere I don't want to be. We eat where I want, when I want, and basically she just gets to come along. I like a lot of moderately-priced Asian restaurants anyway, so the most I am out is twenty bucks or so. The girls who want to take advantage of you will be telling you where and when to take them - they are not so difficult to spot. Most women genuinely want to be with you, or else they would not go to dinner with you.

Inside their typically fragile psyches, women want sex just as badly as us. But it takes a dance first. We are not much different than birds strutting around to attract mates, it is just that our dance often involves dinner and a movie. If you lead the way and set the frame, paying is just a small part of it. Often, even though you had planned to see a movie at a theater, she will suggest after dinner that you rent a movie and go to her place, which of course is chickspeak for "please do me now."

 

[Splendidostring]

Ehh, what the hell? Paying for dinner isn't alpha-male at all. Even if you're doing it thinking "I do it because I want to do it", you still send the "my wallet is open vibe". That's not fine with me and that's why I say paying for dinner isn't something to do unless you have a solid relationship.

 

[the freshmaker]

imo if you asked her out to dinner, you should pay. else, you will look like a cheap bastard

 

[Rounder]

I hate dinner dates in the first few dates. Won't do it.

I was friends with a big group of girls in college - they would go out with almost anyone once if they thought they were going to be fed.

A female friend of mine went on about 6 dates with a guy recently. The first date was to a very nice restaurant and he ended up spending $150 on a 5 hour date. She never had sex with him. He tried to impress her every step of the way. He also made her dinner at his house - which can be great - I think making dinner "together" is more fun than just making it for her.

Take a girl to a park - pack a lunch or dinner - push her on the swings - be different.

"Going to dinner" is what girls almost "expect" - how does taking a girl to dinner make you stand out? Does that make you memorable in her mind?

Once you do take her to dinner - which I agree with donjuanapprentice01 should be 3rd date or after - paying is fine.

 

[Duffdog]

Weird how no one mentioned saying out loud what you feel...

If you feel like making her pay half, you should have the balls to do so. If not, don't. If you like her and want to go get drinks afterwards, you can always say: "I'll get this if you will buy drinks!"... thats what I do. Since I expect that the girl I am dating has a life and money of her own, I have no problem doing so. I am still waiting for a girl to verbally decline paying...that would be funny, as I would immediately label her a cheap slob.

The last time I met a girl, she had a beta male orbiter with her...I looked at her and she looked at him and he paid for everything. It was a good night for me.

 

[Captain Harlock]

Contrary to popular belief, paying for a woman's dinner has nothing to do with "buying affection". The initial attraction has already been established from the fact she's out on a date with you. The question here is WHY aren't you paying? Because you're worried about looking like a wuss. In other words, it's insecurity no matter what anybody tells you.

Confident guys pay because we want to.

well I sure as hell don't want to. It's not like the money grows on my back :nono:

 

[goodfoot]

well I sure as hell don't want to. It's not like the money grows on my back :nono:

I'm still trying to figure out why I want to pay.

 

[jogel13]

what if she assumes to pay half and doesn't give you the opportunity to pay?

 

[Captain Harlock]

what if she assumes to pay half and doesn't give you the opportunity to pay?

well you obviously let her. Why would you want to pay yourself if she offers to pay her share?

 

[jogel13]

more of like... is that friendzone behavior?