Should You Let A Girl Know They Pissed You Off?

[justiceseeker]

I've heard conflicting theories on this. Some say you should never let a woman know they pissed you off, because it lets them know that their actions have a deep effect on you.

On the other hand, I've personally told women off for treating me like shyt, and it made them respect me more and consequently improved our relationship.

I have this girl, who truly is just a friend. Problem is, she only comes around when it's convenient for her, or when she gets something out of it. Otherwise, I'm 3rd fiddle when it comes to doing things. Should I let her know that she made me mad, or blow it off and just ignore her?

 

[War Against Betaism]

I think it's sort of a mix of both. Make it obvious that she's pissing you off, but don't make a scene out of it. Indirectly let her know without being direct if that makes any sense? When someone makes me mad, I let them know without using words.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Yes, I'll scream at a girl like a crowed sometimes. Whatever, they did they never done it again. Now, if she didn't call me back right away or something silly like that. I don't get upset. Let the b!tch know man you aint haven it.

 

[r0cky]

Ok this is how it works:
When a girl sht-tests you, if you get pissed off, you fail. Sht test are ways for them to find out how well you can maintain your frame. For example if she tries to make you jealous, hangs up on you, doesnt return your phone calls. These are ways they use to see if you will get upset with them so that they can be in control. The trick here is to just remain calm and indiferent.

BUT when a girl does something that you would not let anybody else do to you, for example if she disrespects you or your time in any way, then you have a right to be mad AND to call her out on her behavior. However, you MUST call her out on her bad behavior, or else you will seem like a total wuss who lets people disrepect him.

 

[Birdem]

It depends what she did first of all. If she did something to get me angry I would let her know, but I wouldnt explode. If she gets me angry constantly I would cut her off for good simple as that. Do not let it phase you though be cool as possible. Every once in awhile you gotta put her in her place because that's what she wants. That's why I said it depends on the situation really. Rocky, how do you let a chick hang up on you? Are you kidding me?

Justice you should explain more that's pretty brief. What do you mean she only comes by when it convenient. How does she use you.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

yes you should let them know they pissed you off...oh yes.... you says "look here dude, you pissed me off, I'm not giving you any bone tonight"

 

[DonJuan11]

I've heard conflicting theories on this. Some say you should never let a woman know they pissed you off, because it lets them know that their actions have a deep effect on you.

On the other hand, I've personally told women off for treating me like shyt, and it made them respect me more and consequently improved our relationship.

I have this girl, who truly is just a friend. Problem is, she only comes around when it's convenient for her, or when she gets something out of it. Otherwise, I'm 3rd fiddle when it comes to doing things. Should I let her know that she made me mad, or blow it off and just ignore her?

You are confusing the issues. One: you are helping her at your own will. Two: You are mad at her for not kissing you for helping her. This is black and white: If you want to keep her as a friend and like the company, keep helping her. If you want to sleep with her and see her as a potential girlfriend, do not be so available and open all the time. What if you had a girlfriend? A job? A hobby? You wouldn't be so available, you would pursue those interests.

 

[Magnatolia]

I agree. Don't ever blow your top. Just calmly let her know that she overstepped the mark. If it's a big thing, deal-breaker, calmly tell her again that she overstepped the mark then politely excuse yourself.

An example I've seen recently.

When a guy asks a girl for a coffee and she gives him a murky answer like 'umm....yeah...sure' then its pretty obvious she's not that keen so instead of pushing the subject just say 'you seem pretty cool, I get that you're not that interested but that's cool. Enjoy your night'. So then if it was a sht test you've basically passed because then the ball is in her court.

If you're talking solely about your friend, are you upset because you like her or is the friendship off balance? If it is just bring it up.

 

[FL2008]

If it's something major like her embarrassing you in public then you have to be firm and put your foot down.

 

[justiceseeker]

You are confusing the issues. One: you are helping her at your own will. Two: You are mad at her for not kissing you for helping her. This is black and white: If you want to keep her as a friend and like the company, keep helping her. If you want to sleep with her and see her as a potential girlfriend, do not be so available and open all the time. What if you had a girlfriend? A job? A hobby? You wouldn't be so available, you would pursue those interests.

Don, I think you're the one who's confusing the issue. I don't want her to "kiss me for helping her". She is just a friend, and that's all I want from her. But she stood me up when we were supposed to go hang out. I wouldn't tolerate this from one of my bro's, so why should I from her?

I guess I'm going to let her know how shytty it was for her to do that just like I would with anyone else.

I understand what you're saying though. If I was interested in her realtionship-wise, I would just ignore it and back away.

 

[Magnatolia]

Why would you ignore it if you liked her?? So you're saying that she didn't tell you she couldn't make it? Did she apologise and offer an explanation afterwards?

In her defence she may have forgotten, or something urgent came up.

 

[chinwaggler]

in response to your girl friend who 'only comes round when its convenient for her' or when 'she gets something from it' or whatever u said

1) say you're busy. see her when it is convenient for you. if she doesn't change and you two are both reciprocating, then she is not a good friend and you should cut off contact with her. if you are a good friend and you stop seeing her, she will make time to see you.

2) ask something from her first. ask favours, whatever she is getting from you, get it back.

sounds like she is using you and if she doesn't change she's not worth your time.


if you want to be direct, tell her that you are pissed off, why and cut contact for a week or so. if she doesn't try to contact you within that time, let her go. friendships should never be one-sided

 

[true romance]

treat her as she treats you. the problem is you.
if you don't like it, cut all contact.


she does that because you allow it.

go out and flirt with other women..remeber you have a life...

 

[dennisjr2222]

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Words make you weak and take your power away, because it will just be her word against yours if she disagrees with you. However if you start ignoring her or even doing the same thing back to her, you're taking the power back for yourself and you don't need her permission for that. If your irritated, I would say let her know, but only through your actions. She will start thinking what did I do wrong, and will come up with the answer herself which is far better than you telling her. PS. If she is just a friend, I wouldn't give it a second though anyways.