Should you compete for a girl?

Genos

Senior Don Juan
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There are several girls I know with whom I have had good interactions so far.

Some of these women though, I see talking to a least a couple other guys. I'll see them touching her (casually), see her touching them, etc - general kinoing and good vibes. I'll see these girls be surrounded by 2-3 guys even, getting a ton of attention. I've even seen these women texting other guys. And that's fine.

But for me at least, I don't like competing for a girl. It seems to me that I'll just become another sheep in the herd, another orbiter, I'll have to 'prove/sell myself' rather than 'buy the relationship'.

Is this a bad mentality to have? I also know that attractive women will always have men around them, giving them attention, vying for her affection, etc., so I recognize that it may be unrealistic to think a girl will only be talking to me in the social sphere. I also realize that it's a bit of a double standard that I'm practicing, as I believe in talking to multiple women at a time to build an abundance mentality. <_<

But perhaps women spin plates as well?

But when I see this happening, not only do I back off during that particular interaction (when there are multiple guys talking to her at once), but I also kind of just put her on the backburner, and want to just stop initiating stuff, give up on asking her out, etc. I just get this feeling of, "I don't want to have to deal with this."

Perhaps this stems from the fact that the first girl I had been close to was, for some reason or another, highly interested in me. I never heard or saw her interacting closely with other guys or anything, so I guess I'm a bit 'sheltered' in that respect. Dealing with women who are mediumly~ interested is a whole different ballgame, and I feel like it's bringing out some insecurities within me.

Any advice regarding the mindset I should have, or thoughts on 'competing' for women in general?
 

asa_don

Master Don Juan
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women should be competing to be with you, not you competing to be with them against other men, doing that will make you an orbiter.

an alpha is the top dog, be the top dog that women want by making yourself valuable to them, women will be easy to acquire by the dozen.
 
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