Should I wait for her to contact me?

[Aldo]

I met this girl at a dance. She wasn't shy at all, she introduced herself to me (after I began to dance with her), initiated kino, and we danced.

Couple of days later, I got her number over Facebook (only way since I couldn't have seen her in person again). Don't worry, I didn't stalk her. I gave her my number and she gave me hers.

I texted her the next day, we had a short convo (like 1 or 2 texts back and forth). I waited 4 days without contact. Then I texted her again and we had a short convo (again, 1 or 2 texts back and forth). Both times, I sent the last text, but they weren't anything that would keep a conversation going (like it wasn't me asking a question and her not responding, it was just me making a statement and her not responding). Each time too she asks me questions (ex: "I'm good how about you?", stuff like that).

I'm wondering if I should contact her again or should I just wait until she contacts me? I don't want to miss an opportunity by sitting back and not contacting her when I should have.

 

[Iceberg]

Why aren't you calling her? That way you're not sitting back waiting for a response. Either she picks up/returns the call and is interested, or she doesn't return your call and you can NEXT her.

This text stuff...it's like nibbling around a pie crust. Take a real bite and get what you want, or keep pecking at it like you're afraid of it.

 

[starplayer]

Did you ask her out? Don't just keep texting her for the sake of it.

Call her and ask her out, then you know where you stand with her.

 

[lakeshore]

You need to define what it is you're trying to do. Whats your goal?

If its to physically get together and hang out and have some fun then work towards that.

What do you envision doing? Maybe on a nice day, walking around the city and
grabbing a bite to eat?

Ok, well make a plan to make it happen.

Continuous small talk will not get you there. At some point you need to escalate to the next step.

 

[Aldo]

My goal for now is to get us two on a date. Something like the movies. I don't want to ask too soon though because acting too fast recently ruined my chances with a girl I was getting one-itus for.

I'll call her and ask for a date, but I don't want to do that too soon.

 

[Falcon25]

Movies are terrible idea. What the fuvk are you waiting for? So someone else can get her for the weekend? CALL NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH. Ask for drinks. Peace.

 

[Iceberg]

My goal for now is to get us two on a date. Something like the movies. I don't want to ask too soon though because acting too fast recently ruined my chances with a girl I was getting one-itus for.

I'll call her and ask for a date, but I don't want to do that too soon.

If "acting too fast" ruined your chances with a girl, then "acting slow" probably wouldn't have helped.

If I had to simplify everything.
1. Establish rapport.
2. Ask for number - establish rapport once more via phone
3. Get her on a date.

It shouldn't take you weeks of conversation to establish enough of a connection with a woman to ask her out. Now, I don't want to be unrealistic. There have been scenarios (mostly at work) where I see a girl I like, and I spent some time building a connection...so I'm not just like "Yo give me your number" on her first day at the job.

But you met this girl at a dance. What are ya gonna do? Sit around listening to her stupid stories for a month, then ask her out? You have nothin to lose. And asking her out doesn't mean "Would you like to go on a date with me?" It just means, you invite her somewhere fun (NOT the movies) and just the two of you hang out. The word "Date" puts all this pressure on you...it's not a date. You're hanging out with her to determine whether or not she's worthy of more interest/time from you.

 

[amoka]

Aldo, pick up the phone and call her telling her you're taking her out. If she says no and gives you a reason, you can continue texting her as your friend. Other than that, you're nothing but a friend to her now.

 

[Kailex]

My goal for now is to get us two on a date. Something like the movies. I don't want to ask too soon though because acting too fast recently ruined my chances with a girl I was getting one-itus for.

I'll call her and ask for a date, but I don't want to do that too soon.

Damnit Iceberg. You strike again!!!

I'll further elaborate on the "acting too fast" bit.
First of all, acting too fast wasn't what screwed up your chances with the last girl. She simply wasn't interested. It has NOTHING to do with how "fast" you act. Here, we advocate (specially nismo's signature) to strike while the iron is hot.

Right now, you are letting that iron cool off to the EXTREME.
2 or 3 texts every 4 days is NOT the way to get a date with her.

Second, I'm assuming you are probably in high school because you said you met this girl "at a dance" and that you'd like to take her out "to the movies". Am I wrong?

As some of the other posters already said: Movies are a TERRIBLE idea.

But at this point, I don't even see you making it to the movies in the first place.

Why?

#1: You got her number, and have done NOTHING with it. Texts every few days is NOT keeping you in her mind as potential dating material.
#2: Your texts are coming across as boring. So, right now she probably associates you with "boring".
#3: She's probably texting you back when SHE is bored and has absolutely nothing else to do. And don't even try to justify this by telling me that she might have responded immediately to you.
#4: You haven't had the balls to call her yet. Women like a man with enough testicular fortitude to pick up the phone and take a chance on calling.
#5: What in the BLUE HELL are you waiting for to call her? What's too soon for you? A month? A year? You do realize that the time waste waiting for the "right moment"... is probably time that someone else is using to get her out? Hell, it could be ME right now or any other SoSuave member.

Do you really want to sit around and wait for the "chance" and then find out she's already been scooped up?

I think you're just trying to justify an impending rejection with "Well, see, I acted too fast, AGAIN, and that's why I failed."

It's ALWAYS hit or miss. There's no 100% guarantee, so cup your scrotum and dial her number... NOW.

Stop reading this.

GO CALL.

I'm serious.

 

[Following_of_Me]

I was in a similar situation, I'll just tell you what I did.

Met a girl at a club, got those digits before I left. Texted her a few mins later saying "This is my number" and then didnt answer after that. Several days later she was texting me silly stuff like "whats up" and all that, and I texted her back then said I was too busy (which at the time I was working on my truck), and Id call her later. So I never called back. Until a day or so later, I called her up "I think I'll be in your neck of the woods this weekend, are you around" and she was very excited at the possibility of seeing me. So I went down with a few friends and we met up at the same club. She was acknowledging how I never text, and I told her its cause I prefer to talk in person and the phone is really not for long-term communication. So a few more days go by, told her I had some free time over the weekend and could prob come by. So I went down and did her.

The lesson here. Keep phone talk to a minimum, any genius can figure that out. Texting her whats up basically just puts you in the category of typical, uninteresting guy. Not texting her, if she's into you, makes her wonder if you think about her. When you finally call her up, simply saying "I may be around this weekend" is a beautiful half way point. Its not you asking to hang out, its you saying you MIGHT be around and she can meet up if she wants. I'd recommend this, and bringing a few friends (and her hooking up your friends with a few of hers of course!) to show her what kind of guy you are. The fun kind.

 

[Jariel]

In my experience if a girl ever ceases contact, just get on with your day to day stuff and wait for her to contact you. Women are like that, some women test you to see if you're the obsessive and possessive type, or to see just how much you like her. When it comes to the latter, they do it because they want the power of you liking them more than they like you, but once you fall into that trap they have all the power and it's downhill from there.

Always be cool. Next time she initiates the texting give her a call. You don't necessarily have to ask her out there and then, but make sure you're escalating.