should I text her?

[talented_beginner]

got a girl's #. texted for a bit. so recently, school got bak in session. decided to ask her out. i opened w/

me:hey, how's classes?
her:hard as hell but managin. you?
me:it's good. thnx 4 askn
her:
me: you sound stressed out already. how about we get some food and catch a movie. what days good for u this week?
her: no response
sent this on monday, it's now been 3 days

clearly she's not interested. i know this one's in the tank. so i've given up. but just at a little teaser etc., don't really care now. i was wondering if it would be okay to text her:

me: so i guess no dinner and a movie, huh? lol

she prob wont reply but like i said. i've accepted that this thing has tanked already. no reply for 3 days?

anwyay, what do y'all think? should i go ahead and text her that or just let it go?

 

[pdx1138]

I wouldn't

The only time you should respond is if she responds.

Balls in her court.

It's possible you might hear from her again. I usually wait 30 days before deleting phone numbers. If she doesn't get back to you by then, she likely never will.

shift your focus on to the next target.

 

[omega05]

Should have called and I think you went too fast to asking her out

 

[Purefilth]

Shouldve offered 2 days, as if they're the only times you're free. Don't leave them with the option of any day, looks like youll jump to heel when they snap their fingers. But, yep low interest there. Leave it with her and if she does text you, dont jump up wagging your tail. She offers a day? offer a different one. she says no to that? Say "oh well you'll have to catch me another time then". She will bite.... If she doesn't then there's no real interest anyway so NEXT!

 

[oxford comma]

you asked her out on a date. BIG MISTAKE. the rule i follow is the more casual and less "datey" it sounds the more likely she is to do it. especially at first. also, guys seem to have this mentality where if they get "rejected" then they need to move on. screw that. theres no such thing as rejected as long as you play it cool. take things slow. text her, but dont try and meet up with her. have a few mini convos with her throughout the next week then go for the meet up. NO DATES, just say you are going somewhere for a bit and that she should join you.

 

[\O/]

I disagree with previous poster. When I get a number, i'm only interested in turning it into a face to face interaction aka "date". I do believe it is a better option to call her to set it up, but texting is more common these days and girls are also more comfortable with this so you have to adapt.

Don't try to build too much rapport through text. More often than not you will just text your way out of a date. Cut to the chase on the 2nd or 3rd text and move on if she rejects the proposition. Because you are a DJ, you have plenty other numbers to text right?

Most numbers you get will flake, especially if you close quickly without much rapport.

After i get a number and decide to text, i delete the number if she doesn't reply within an hour. Sometimes i just delete it straight after sending the text. This way you'll never send two texts in a row, and if she never replies, she just has low interest and i don't waste my time on that. If she texts back, good. Save her again and send a text or two and then set up a date.

 

[ArcBound]

As Rollo says the medium is the message. And her medium of ignoring your question should send you a clear message. Send the text if you want but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

 

[oxford comma]

I disagree with previous poster. When I get a number, i'm only interested in turning it into a face to face interaction aka "date". I do believe it is a better option to call her to set it up, but texting is more common these days and girls are also more comfortable with this so you have to adapt.

Don't try to build too much rapport through text. More often than not you will just text your way out of a date. Cut to the chase on the 2nd or 3rd text and move on if she rejects the proposition. Because you are a DJ, you have plenty other numbers to text right?

Most numbers you get will flake, especially if you close quickly without much rapport.

After i get a number and decide to text, i delete the number if she doesn't reply within an hour. Sometimes i just delete it straight after sending the text. This way you'll never send two texts in a row, and if she never replies, she just has low interest and i don't waste my time on that. If she texts back, good. Save her again and send a text or two and then set up a date.

of course you want the date, but you dont want it to sound like a date. why? because it puts too much pressure on the girl. you are a STRANGER to her, why should you expect her to go out of her way for you at first? thats ridiculous and shows no empathy for the girls emotions. i agree with not trying to build too much rapport through texting, but you need to build some. texting is a huge part of communication now a days, so it is important to continue the courting process through it. trying to get a meet up right away is weird. its pretty much saying to the girl "hey, even though you are a strange girl i just met, i want to see you right away because i have no other options". Take it slow!
Patience is the fastest way to get laid. Guys on here are constantly talking about numbers flaking. I was one of them! Girls flake because you move too fast for them. Put yourself in their shoes. Show empathy. Take things slow. The girl isn't going anywhere, you can wait a week before seeing her again. Just make sure to sprinkle in a few mini convos throughout the week then plan a non threatening meet up. After you see eachother face to face once and things go well, you can speed up.

 

[\O/]

of course you want the date, but you dont want it to sound like a date. why? because it puts too much pressure on the girl. you are a STRANGER to her, why should you expect her to go out of her way for you at first? thats ridiculous and shows no empathy for the girls emotions. i agree with not trying to build too much rapport through texting, but you need to build some. texting is a huge part of communication now a days, so it is important to continue the courting process through it. trying to get a meet up right away is weird. its pretty much saying to the girl "hey, even though you are a strange girl i just met, i want to see you right away because i have no other options". Take it slow!
Patience is the fastest way to get laid. Guys on here are constantly talking about numbers flaking. I was one of them! Girls flake because you move too fast for them. Put yourself in their shoes. Show empathy. Take things slow. The girl isn't going anywhere, you can wait a week before seeing her again. Just make sure to sprinkle in a few mini convos throughout the week then plan a non threatening meet up. After you see eachother face to face once and things go well, you can speed up.

Fair enough. I agree with you. It all depends on how much rapport you build leading up to getting the girls number though. The more rapport you build when you first meet, the less texting you have to do the set up a date. If you run up to a girl, close for her number and slplits, you have to build some rapport through text or over telephone before agreeing on a 2nd meet up.

I always make a point of calling it a date. I want them to know my intentions early. I'm not looking to make new friends, i'm screening to see if she is interesting to me. Yes, make it not threatening and say it in a playful manner, but don't be afraid of calling it a date. Going on a date doesn't necessarily mean that you are already interested in her, but that you are willing to find out if you are.

Good post though.

 

[talented_beginner]

@ the people saying I went too fast:
how much slower do you want me to go? it's not like i met the girl in the street sunday and sent her that text monday. we had class together last semester. hardly ever talked then during the summer, i added her on facebook. nothing creepy because we talked in person before i added her on facebook. after adding her, i had a chat w/ her bak and forth for a bit. exchanging messages etc., then i got her #. i texted her the first time and then jokin around i said when school opens again how about u n me hang out sometime. she said sure. then i didn't text again for like 3 weeks. i opened up texting again and she was like who is this? (she didn't save my #?) i told her my name. she said oh ok. she said she's tired from work and want to nap. i left it there and said i'll hit her up later. so then when school finally opened like a month and half later, i sent her the text in post #1. i don't see anything wrong on my part. honestly

if a chick really likes you and she's down, none of this ignoring your text for 3 days bullshyt will occur. what kills me, why odn't you just say i'm busy this week rather than just plain ignore? it's clear she's just no interested.

next time i bump into her, i'll joke around about the whole movies thing.

i was considering sending her that text because i wanted her to feel like even though she's not down to go to the movies, we still cool.

 

[talented_beginner]

of course you want the date, but you dont want it to sound like a date. why? because it puts too much pressure on the girl. you are a STRANGER to her, why should you expect her to go out of her way for you at first? thats ridiculous and shows no empathy for the girls emotions. i agree with not trying to build too much rapport through texting, but you need to build some. texting is a huge part of communication now a days, so it is important to continue the courting process through it. trying to get a meet up right away is weird. its pretty much saying to the girl "hey, even though you are a strange girl i just met, i want to see you right away because i have no other options". Take it slow!
Patience is the fastest way to get laid. Guys on here are constantly talking about numbers flaking. I was one of them! Girls flake because you move too fast for them. Put yourself in their shoes. Show empathy. Take things slow. The girl isn't going anywhere, you can wait a week before seeing her again. Just make sure to sprinkle in a few mini convos throughout the week then plan a non threatening meet up. After you see eachother face to face once and things go well, you can speed up.

past experience led me to what i did. i got a girl's # and annoyed the girl trying to do the whole build rapport bullcrap. you can't and i repeat can't build anything over texts. maybe phone or skype. but text is a no no. there's no way to interpret emotions through texts. text message misinterpretations cause fights and break ups all the time because it wasn't interpreted the way it was intended.

i was interested in a possible ltr w/ this girl. no way can i get to know her well through texts. we need to hang out in person and get to kno each other better. plain and simple.

the lesson here prob might be the way i phrased the question. maybe next time i'll start w/ what u doing this weekend. but the girl's not interested. when a girl's interested in a guy, it'll take more than, "what day is good for u this week to go eat and catch a movie" to turn her away. let's be real guys. it's not like i'm boring her w/ facts about spaceships etc.,

 

[oxford comma]

past experience led me to what i did. i got a girl's # and annoyed the girl trying to do the whole build rapport bullcrap. you can't and i repeat can't build anything over texts. maybe phone or skype. but text is a no no. there's no way to interpret emotions through texts. text message misinterpretations cause fights and break ups all the time because it wasn't interpreted the way it was intended.

i was interested in a possible ltr w/ this girl. no way can i get to know her well through texts. we need to hang out in person and get to kno each other better. plain and simple.

the lesson here prob might be the way i phrased the question. maybe next time i'll start w/ what u doing this weekend. but the girl's not interested. when a girl's interested in a guy, it'll take more than, "what day is good for u this week to go eat and catch a movie" to turn her away. let's be real guys. it's not like i'm boring her w/ facts about spaceships etc.,

shes flaking because shes uncomfortable with meeting up with you. you set off what i call the "date-alarm" in her head. you CAN build rapport through texts, its a form of communication. if people communicated through coconuts, you could build rapport through a coconut.

 

[VladPatton]

It's really annoying when that happens. Been there recently. She ignored my initial text, then said we can meet up with other friends at a different time (WTF?!)...she didn't wanna come out to a casual coffee meet up alone, so I took it as low interest on her part, maybe you should too with your girl. You can only try so much.

Put her on the back burner and see what happens. Don't burn the bridge just yet.

 

[Zarky]

OP you should be communicating with enough women that you don't notice the ones who fall off the planet.

Delete her number and delete her from your mind. Sending hangdog texts like the one you suggest lowers your self-esteem and probably your testosterone.

 

[talented_beginner]

shes flaking because shes uncomfortable with meeting up with you. you set off what i call the "date-alarm" in her head. you CAN build rapport through texts, its a form of communication. if people communicated through coconuts, you could build rapport through a coconut.

of course i want to set off the date alarm. i want this girl to know i have romantic interests for her. don't want to get friend zoned. you really sure you can build rapport through texts? MIGHT be possible but there are much better alternatives. text is not the way to go. at least not this early. right now, getting close in person is the best way. then later on if a relationship comes up and we are separated due to a break, we can txt bak and forth, but for now the mission is get a # and get the girl to hang out / come out ASAP. dnt have time for ping-pong over txt messages. again, i have tried the textin thing and it failed miserably.

if a girl is really interested in a guy, the guy askn her out would atleast get a respons and not just plain, i'm going to ignore you. she could have at least said, i'm busy this week or it's tough this semester. just plain didn't respond. what's her excuse? she didn't get my text?

girl's not interested.

i'll wait to run into her in person and drop the whole, "so i guess no dinner and a movie for us, eh?" and smile. i don't have a grudge against the girl. it's ok that she's not into me. on to the next one

 

[talented_beginner]

It's really annoying when that happens. Been there recently. She ignored my initial text, then said we can meet up with other friends at a different time (WTF?!)...she didn't wanna come out to a casual coffee meet up alone, so I took it as low interest on her part, maybe you should too with your girl. You can only try so much.

Put her on the back burner and see what happens. Don't burn the bridge just yet.

yep. it really is. i kno he girl got my message so the ignoring is intentionally unless she supposed replied but forgot to hit the send button :crackup:

dude, atleast yours replied w/ an alternative. mine didn't reply period. i'm concluding there's a lack of interest.

i'm basically done w/ it. like i said in the first post i wrote this one off as a loss. it's in the tank already. just as a little joke i wanted to play around w/ her and send the whole, "so i can assume there's going to be no dinner and a movie for us, huh? lol. it's cool. " got nothn to lose at this point. i'll still say hi when i see her. not holdn anythin in

 

[CR103030]

OP,
First of all, congrats on the # close.

I don't think you should bring up "movie or dinner" thing when you see her. I know it's bothering ya that she's not responding and I know that you said it's a lost cause, but you have to just start over. Start with a clean slate the next time you see her. The best thing to do now is talk to other girls IN FRONT of her. Pretend the texts never happened. You can say "hi" and do all the things you do, but bringing up the "movie and dinner" thing would do more harm.

1) She may ruin your reputation by spreading unwanted rumors about you.
2) She may have friends who are hot.
3) Always hold your head high and preserve your dignity.

 

[talented_beginner]

OP,
First of all, congrats on the # close.

I don't think you should bring up "movie or dinner" thing when you see her. I know it's bothering ya that she's not responding and I know that you said it's a lost cause, but you have to just start over. Start with a clean slate the next time you see her. The best thing to do now is talk to other girls IN FRONT of her. Pretend the texts never happened. You can say "hi" and do all the things you do, but bringing up the "movie and dinner" thing would do more harm.

1) She may ruin your reputation by spreading unwanted rumors about you.
2) She may have friends who are hot.
3) Always hold your head high and preserve your dignity.

thanks for the advice, champ. the # close is really nothing. i don't see #'s as achievements anymore. the challenge or my weak points now is how to transition things after i get the number. that's the main problem.

like you said, on to the next girl. i don't think it's necessary to let this girl see me chatting with othe girls. i am not in love or obssessed w/ her. i am lookin to get laid and i decided to give her a try. it didn't work so on to the next one. not trying to work hard to win her heart or some onenitis bullshyt.

how can she ruin my rep? saying i'm a creep? i have evidence on facebook that she gave me a her number. not a fake one but a real one. i simply askd her on a date and she's not interested what's the biggie? i don't think i've done anything weird or creepy here.

i'll keep things cool and just say hi like u said. forget the whole movie thing.

on to the next girl. will delete her # to prevent textn her again

 

[oxford comma]

of course i want to set off the date alarm. i want this girl to know i have romantic interests for her. don't want to get friend zoned. you really sure you can build rapport through texts? MIGHT be possible but there are much better alternatives. text is not the way to go. at least not this early. right now, getting close in person is the best way. then later on if a relationship comes up and we are separated due to a break, we can txt bak and forth, but for now the mission is get a # and get the girl to hang out / come out ASAP. dnt have time for ping-pong over txt messages. again, i have tried the textin thing and it failed miserably.

if a girl is really interested in a guy, the guy askn her out would atleast get a respons and not just plain, i'm going to ignore you. she could have at least said, i'm busy this week or it's tough this semester. just plain didn't respond. what's her excuse? she didn't get my text?

girl's not interested.

i'll wait to run into her in person and drop the whole, "so i guess no dinner and a movie for us, eh?" and smile. i don't have a grudge against the girl. it's ok that she's not into me. on to the next one

she knows you are interested in her romantically. shes not retarded. you suggested way too formal of a meet up, when you should have gone for something more informal. the more formal, the more datey it is. ive sent so many texts like that and gotten no response before. you were moving too fast man. just try out my method. next number you get, have a few mini convos with her sprinkled throughout the week then after about 3 or 4 mini convos ask her what her schedule for the next day is. then say you will be at a location and ask her to meet you there for a bit. also, really do some research on text game. its a lot more important than guys on here tend to think.

 

[oxford comma]

i made a thread on here about a month ago basically complaining about the same thing you were and how all i was getting was flakes. a poster named mr.someonelse basically told me what i am telling you, then i started getting success from my numbers!