Should i next her?

[silverwex]

Right,

Asked this girl out last week (when we were out - drinking!) and she said yeah. Its meant to be tonight. Was texting her (yeah i know u all dont agree with that but anyway...) and she goes
"Ill havta meet ya lata coz im goin for a walk with my friend and if i miss it ill give it up completely!".

I say back to her "Hey missy, we were meant to be going to the cinema 2nite - but if ya gotta stay fit well then ill meet ya lata for a drink or a walk. Let me know what time ul be ready".

Shes goes: "I promise we'll go to the cinema some other time if ya want".

Should i next her? We're only starting off and she actually does go for walks with her mates. But on the other hand, shouldnt she have made time for me?

 

[MDgood]

Give her one more shot, and if she gives you any excuses at all, say thanks, whatever, see you around, and NEXT! her.

 

[silverwex]

Cheers MDgood, thanks man.

 

[lerxst]

Translation: I'd rather go take a walk than do something fun with you.

You didn't create enough intrest level/attraction in her.

Next her? Yes. If she was actually interested in you she would have given you a reschedule with an actual date/time. She didn't. She won't. You got the polite brush off. Cut yourself clean of her and move on to the next girl. Go read the DJ Bible. Really, you need to.

 

[MDgood]

Come on, lerxst, give silverwex a break here... he's 20 years old, these things aren't going to be entirely obvious to him right now.

If you could have seen how AFC I was when I was 20, good god, I would be kicked off this board.

Silverwex, the general rule of thumb is that if a girl has an interest in you, and she can't legitimately make a date, she'll apologize and offer to reschedule. She gave you an opportunity to reschedule, but only after you suggested it to her.

It's only because she gave you this sort-of-opportunity to meet up that I suggested you give her one more chance.

However, if she cancels for whatever reason, any reason AT ALL, you have to say something to her along the lines of, "Look, if you didn't want to go out with me, you could have just said it and not given me this bullshyt." Then turn and walk away.

 

[silverwex]

hi lerxst

the thing is:

when we're out at the local nitespot or whatever she always comes over to me and we start making out and she ends up saying "i want you so much right now" and so on.

SHe actually does go walking with her mate (i saw them out one evening) and when i asked her out im not sure if i made it crystal clear what day.

She did "promise" that shed go next time and to be honest i believe her but as they say only time will tell!

Shes meant to be meeting me later this evening for a drink or whatever and if i meet her ill make it clear to her that if a girl does that to me i usually tell em to get lost... but that im willing to give her another chance and if she backs outta that again shes gone! Sound good?

 

[silverwex]

UPDATE:

Rite shes just got back in touch and said "Ill meet you about 10-ish? I dunno, its up to you. U tell me a time".

So im just about to reply to her now.

Cant wait to let her know i dont take her crap!

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by MDgood
C
Silverwex, the general rule of thumb is that if a girl has an interest in you, and she can't legitimately make a date, she'll apologize and offer to reschedule. She gave you an opportunity to reschedule, but only after you suggested it to her.

I think it's vital to note that
silverwex is in Ireland. The whole formal dating thing that you guys have got going on in the US is completely different to the way it goes down over here.

Bearing that in mind, don't be so quick to next her, silver.

Oscar.

 

[MDgood]

The whole formal dating thing that you guys have got going on in the US is completely different to the way it goes down over here.

Oscar, you're completely right about that! I was speaking from the viewpoint of a guy who's in a culture where the majority of young women are stuck on themselves, selfish, impolite, ill mannered, rude, and who think of flaming guys as some sort of sick sport. In the U.S. we guys have "evolved" methods to be successful by countering this, and the first rule of thumb is, "Never take shyt from any woman!"

I'm glad you pointed this out, Oscar. Perhaps you could start a post that talks about the various types of European women? I would love to know

 

[silverwex]

Hi Oscar.

Yeah i was about to make that point. Shes meeting me in bout 30mins. Even if they cancel over here a lot of ppl still pursue, as opposed to NEXT, a girl.

They can be real *****e$ over here the majority of the time.

 

[MDgood]

They can be real *****e$ over here the majority of the time.

I'll trade you TEN American women for ONE Irish woman!

 

[Quick]

With all of the details you've given, there's no reason to next her. Part of what is recommended to DJs is that you don't change your life for a girl. If there's something that's important to you, don't give it up just because you met some girl. This girl is being smart in taking that same advice. Her nightly walk is important to her, you know for a fact she already had this habit, and she is simply unwilling to change it for you. Most girls with high interest would, but the fact that she won't doesn't make her a bad person. Personally, I like girls that can keep their lives and show interest in me at the same time.

Of course, there's always the possibility that this is a sign of low interest, but it's not definite. If this canceled a date for something that just came up, that would also be different. What you need to do is look at her actions as a whole. If she does other questionable things, or repeatedly cancels, only then would I next her.