I found something interesting about one of my closest friends the other day.... but allow me to fill you in on the background information first.
I purchased an expensive polo on ebay this past spring because I could get it on there for cheaper than what I would pay in a major store and because of the fact that there was no outlet to buy it in my town. Needless to say I was the only one with the particular shirt and it got me a lot of compliments from girls impressed by my style. At the time, the friend in question complimented it too, but he gets jealous very easily so I could tell he wished he had thought to buy it first.
Fastforward a few months and this friend buys one for himself in a different colour off ebay. Which was fair enough, I don't claim to have a patent on the shirt. Shortly thereafter however, he bought two more, but this time told me that he had got a relative to purchase them for him from a store for retail price. Again, not that big a deal, except for the fact that he now publicly stated that the one he had first bought on ebay was a cheap fake in comparison, and that thus, mine must be fake too. From then on he only wore the two shirts which had been "purchased from the boutique and sent to him by his relatives." I compared shirts with him and could find no difference in fabric or tags but he was unwavering in his claim that everything off ebay was a cheap knock-off.
From then on, it seemed that almost every week he recieved another expensive, high quality garment from his relatives and when asked why they kept sending these $50-100 items for no particular reason, he just claimed that they were rich and it wasn't a big deal. For every item he had specific details on which boutique it was bought from, and for how much. This began to really aggravate me (as well as my other friends) who agreed that it was extremely ostentacious of him to keep getting so many new, expensive items and to be openly bragging about them. I mean, it wasn't like all the shyt he was recieving was really nice, it was just expensive and excessive (especially for a guy who not long ago sported just casual athletic clothing). At this point I figured it was pretty obvious that he had a full blown inferiority complex, and figured he'd stop after the novelty of owning something we didn't wore off.
WRONG
As of today, he's recieved at least 10 items, all of which supposedly came with hefty price tags and from expensive retailers. That is, until I stumbled upon his ebay account and discovered that ALL his items had been purchased off ebay, and for a fraction of what he claimed!
Understandably, I was pissed. Here is this guy I've been tight with for over 6 years who had been flat out LYING to me about where his merchandise was coming from. How dare he insult my intelligence by making such BS claims? How dare he try to make me feel poor by flashing all his expensive cothes and making up BS figures for the price. And most of all, how dare he state that my shirt was fake because I bought it on ebay, when it turns out that his supposed "authentic" shirts were bought on ebay as well, AND he even paid less for his than I did for mine!
My first instinct was to call him out on his shyt the next time I saw him or heard from him, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured that it was best not to go about it that way. I did however show another close friend of ours the link exposing him, and he was as equally disgusted as I was.
The thing is, I don't have a clue how I should go about bringing this up with him. On one hand I'm thinking:
-This is a guy I've known for 6 years, spent a ton of time around, and I risk losing his friendship if I expose him and then he becomes too ashamed to be around us anymore. Because let's be honest, it's not like I'm busting him for ditching me to hang out with a girl one night, but rather for openly decieving me and our other friends for months regarding numerous items. There will be no easy way for him to play off 10 items, and there will definately be a time when it's really awkward for him to be around us, knowing that he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak. He was likely making the false claims to feel better about himself because of the fact that myself and our other friends are more successful than him socially, with girls, and had a much more sophisticated fashion sense before he started buying like crazy. Truth be told, I just can't see him having the maturity and social graces to be able to recover from this exposure as the same friend we used to know and trust. In other words, I think it's likely he might just distance himself from us until he's completely out of the picture so he can hang with people who he thinks might still respect him. And what's this over anyways? Clothes? Seems pretty trivial...
-But on the other hand, I'm thinking that it's my duty to totally call him out on his shyt, and expose him as the fraud he is. Afterall, he's caught red handed, and there' no way for him to deny any of the allegations when the evidence is so readily available. Not to mention the fact that I won't be able to look at him the same until this dilemma is out in the open and dealt with. I would have had no problem with him buying expensive shyt on ebay and I wouldn't have thought any less of him if he wanted to save a few bucks doing it that way. But the fact that he would lie about where he was getting his items, lie about how much he was paying for them, and still have the nerve to tell me that MY shyt is fake and I'm a sucker for buying on ebay just blows my mind. I've already lost tons of respect for him over this, and the only way he can gain any back is if he completely confesses, apologizes, and stops buying everything like he's in some sort of ratrace with us.
I can't see why he would suddenly stop his buying frenzy now and I don't think I can take it if he mentions one more time how cool it is that he's just recieved yet ANOTHER expensive polo/sweater/dress shirt from his cousin/aunt/sister bought from Macy's/Holt Renfrew/[Insert expensive boutique].
Guys, I'm turning to you to help me find a resolution, and preferably some middle ground to this dilemma. I DO want him to stop this facade, but I DON'T want to lose his friendship.
In some ways I'm extremely proud of myself for discovering his fraud, but at the same time, I think I'd be happier if I hadn't.
Thanks for reading this (became much longer than I anticipated), and I'd really appreciate some insightful responses, especially from those who may have found themselves in a similar situation at one time or another.
I purchased an expensive polo on ebay this past spring because I could get it on there for cheaper than what I would pay in a major store and because of the fact that there was no outlet to buy it in my town. Needless to say I was the only one with the particular shirt and it got me a lot of compliments from girls impressed by my style. At the time, the friend in question complimented it too, but he gets jealous very easily so I could tell he wished he had thought to buy it first.
Fastforward a few months and this friend buys one for himself in a different colour off ebay. Which was fair enough, I don't claim to have a patent on the shirt. Shortly thereafter however, he bought two more, but this time told me that he had got a relative to purchase them for him from a store for retail price. Again, not that big a deal, except for the fact that he now publicly stated that the one he had first bought on ebay was a cheap fake in comparison, and that thus, mine must be fake too. From then on he only wore the two shirts which had been "purchased from the boutique and sent to him by his relatives." I compared shirts with him and could find no difference in fabric or tags but he was unwavering in his claim that everything off ebay was a cheap knock-off.
From then on, it seemed that almost every week he recieved another expensive, high quality garment from his relatives and when asked why they kept sending these $50-100 items for no particular reason, he just claimed that they were rich and it wasn't a big deal. For every item he had specific details on which boutique it was bought from, and for how much. This began to really aggravate me (as well as my other friends) who agreed that it was extremely ostentacious of him to keep getting so many new, expensive items and to be openly bragging about them. I mean, it wasn't like all the shyt he was recieving was really nice, it was just expensive and excessive (especially for a guy who not long ago sported just casual athletic clothing). At this point I figured it was pretty obvious that he had a full blown inferiority complex, and figured he'd stop after the novelty of owning something we didn't wore off.
WRONG
As of today, he's recieved at least 10 items, all of which supposedly came with hefty price tags and from expensive retailers. That is, until I stumbled upon his ebay account and discovered that ALL his items had been purchased off ebay, and for a fraction of what he claimed!
Understandably, I was pissed. Here is this guy I've been tight with for over 6 years who had been flat out LYING to me about where his merchandise was coming from. How dare he insult my intelligence by making such BS claims? How dare he try to make me feel poor by flashing all his expensive cothes and making up BS figures for the price. And most of all, how dare he state that my shirt was fake because I bought it on ebay, when it turns out that his supposed "authentic" shirts were bought on ebay as well, AND he even paid less for his than I did for mine!
My first instinct was to call him out on his shyt the next time I saw him or heard from him, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured that it was best not to go about it that way. I did however show another close friend of ours the link exposing him, and he was as equally disgusted as I was.
The thing is, I don't have a clue how I should go about bringing this up with him. On one hand I'm thinking:
-This is a guy I've known for 6 years, spent a ton of time around, and I risk losing his friendship if I expose him and then he becomes too ashamed to be around us anymore. Because let's be honest, it's not like I'm busting him for ditching me to hang out with a girl one night, but rather for openly decieving me and our other friends for months regarding numerous items. There will be no easy way for him to play off 10 items, and there will definately be a time when it's really awkward for him to be around us, knowing that he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak. He was likely making the false claims to feel better about himself because of the fact that myself and our other friends are more successful than him socially, with girls, and had a much more sophisticated fashion sense before he started buying like crazy. Truth be told, I just can't see him having the maturity and social graces to be able to recover from this exposure as the same friend we used to know and trust. In other words, I think it's likely he might just distance himself from us until he's completely out of the picture so he can hang with people who he thinks might still respect him. And what's this over anyways? Clothes? Seems pretty trivial...
-But on the other hand, I'm thinking that it's my duty to totally call him out on his shyt, and expose him as the fraud he is. Afterall, he's caught red handed, and there' no way for him to deny any of the allegations when the evidence is so readily available. Not to mention the fact that I won't be able to look at him the same until this dilemma is out in the open and dealt with. I would have had no problem with him buying expensive shyt on ebay and I wouldn't have thought any less of him if he wanted to save a few bucks doing it that way. But the fact that he would lie about where he was getting his items, lie about how much he was paying for them, and still have the nerve to tell me that MY shyt is fake and I'm a sucker for buying on ebay just blows my mind. I've already lost tons of respect for him over this, and the only way he can gain any back is if he completely confesses, apologizes, and stops buying everything like he's in some sort of ratrace with us.
I can't see why he would suddenly stop his buying frenzy now and I don't think I can take it if he mentions one more time how cool it is that he's just recieved yet ANOTHER expensive polo/sweater/dress shirt from his cousin/aunt/sister bought from Macy's/Holt Renfrew/[Insert expensive boutique].
Guys, I'm turning to you to help me find a resolution, and preferably some middle ground to this dilemma. I DO want him to stop this facade, but I DON'T want to lose his friendship.
In some ways I'm extremely proud of myself for discovering his fraud, but at the same time, I think I'd be happier if I hadn't.
Thanks for reading this (became much longer than I anticipated), and I'd really appreciate some insightful responses, especially from those who may have found themselves in a similar situation at one time or another.
