Should i call it quits?

[Alpheta]

The girl ive been with for over a year is long distance. She was a virgin until recently. Lives on her own at university. Been living on her own for 3 years now. Im the only dude shes been with. HOWEVER, recently after i smashed, she has told me how hella horny she is and that at times she feels like masturbating (she refuses to due to religion lol.)

The thing is, i cant go down to her in the next month or so due to issues. Shes been down herself the last 3 times. She has xams so wants me to come and spend a few days. I cant until maybe next month.

The thing is i accept that a woman who has hardcore urges needs them to be satisfied so if anything there is a high chance of her cheating. Ive been thinking the whole day about it. Although im emotionally involved, should i just call it quits? Not worth it as im bound to get hurt? So far its perfect.She loves me. But the nature and reality can change very fast when one needs their desires satisfied.

 

[Armourhead]

At this point in my life I'm against LDR's but some people aren't. Its a personal choice based on what oppurtunities you have. I've been with three virgins before and yes its true, in the months after you take her virginity its like the floodgates have been opened. I had one girl walk 40 minutes one way through snowstorms for the D and she had to walk back the morning after.

Ever tried using skype? It worked wonders during my LDR's.

No matter what put yourself first though and don't compromise on that.

 

[Alpheta]

At this point in my life I'm against LDR's but some people aren't. Its a personal choice based on what oppurtunities you have. I've been with three virgins before and yes its true, in the months after you take her virginity its like the floodgates have been opened. I had one girl walk 40 minutes one way through snowstorms for the D and she had to walk back the morning after.

Ever tried using skype? It worked wonders during my LDR's.

No matter what put yourself first though and don't compromise on that.

We do facetime on sundays as i am busy and dont have time to facetime her all the time. When we do tho, we play games that involve stripping etc. This was a girl who couldnt show me her stomach now shes all out showing her vag close up. lol. I deflowered her, i feel less obliged towards her but still like her.

By saying 'floodgates open' can i take t hat to mean shell look somehwhere else for the D? lol.

 

[Armourhead]

We do facetime on sundays as i am busy and dont have time to facetime her all the time. When we do tho, we play games that involve stripping etc. This was a girl who couldnt show me her stomach now shes all out showing her vag close up. lol. I deflowered her, i feel less obliged towards her but still like her.

By saying 'floodgates open' can i take t hat to mean shell look somehwhere else for the D? lol.

I just mean she is going to want sex a lot more than when she was still a virgin. It's like a weight off their shoulders and they are now far more sexual since they aren't saving themselves for anyone anymore. Since she was a virgin she should be pretty much eating out of your hand though. They get really attached to whoever takes their virginity. If you have good game you will literally own this girl until you **** up or a better man comes along.

Try and identify what your plans for this girl are. If you see a future with her then work on it. If not then maybe start to detach a little and spin more plates to compensate. If she's down for phonesex/skypesex that should be okay for now as long as you do make time to visit her once a month or so.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I just mean she is going to want sex a lot more than when she was still a virgin. It's like a weight off their shoulders and they are now far more sexual since they aren't saving themselves for anyone anymore. Since she was a virgin she should be pretty much eating out of your hand though. They get really attached to whoever takes their virginity. If you have good game you will literally own this girl until you **** up or a better man comes along.

Try and identify what your plans for this girl are. If you see a future with her then work on it. If not then maybe start to detach a little and spin more plates to compensate. If she's down for phonesex/skypesex that should be okay for now as long as you do make time to visit her once a month or so.

A "better man" could come along and she would still see the value you in you. As long as you treat that virgin good she probably isn't going any where.

 

[wifehunter]

Sounds like she's in bondage to a bunch of stupid rules. It could have a negative impact. Repressed sexuality is dangerous. Stupid rules are for stupid people.

 

[Lozboss]

This is simple.

Read 'The Rational Male' by Rollo

Never do long distance- the only people who do long distance are those WITHOUT OPTIONS

 

[LiveYourDream]

You both lost your virginity to one another a week ago. She loves you, she's beyond horny and she's reaching out telling you she wants you to fvck her again ASAP. She's trying hard to figure out when you two can make that happen.

You say you can't go see her for a month of so because of "issues." Why not just tell her you'd love to see her/fvck her but she has to travel to you? Who cares if she's traveled to you the last three times? Are you going to turn her away if she travels to you again, because she is so horny and wants s3x with you?

Again, it's only been a week, since your first time, are you not also extra horny now?

For a girl that is still so conservative/religious that she won't masturbate, what makes you think that she's suddenly going to go sleep with random guys that are not you?

You've been in a LDR for 1 year. She loves you. She gave you her virginity a week ago. She's begging you for YOU to fvck her. She is not suddenly going to go sleep with other guys.

Why not more effort/interest from you? Why not invite her to travel to you if she wants s3x? Are you also sleeping with other girls or intending to and therefore just not that interested in this girl now?

I don't get the jump to should I breakup because she might sleep with another guy so you need to cut her off first, when there is no sign that she has any intention of cheating.

I wonder, if now that you've slept with her, if you are looking for a way out, of your relationship so you feel free to sleep with other girls too?

What else is going on here?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You both lost your virginity to one another a week ago. She loves you, she's beyond horny and she's reaching out telling you she wants you to fvck her again ASAP. She's trying hard to figure out when you two can make that happen.

You say you can't go see her for a month of so because of "issues." Why not just tell her you'd love to see her/fvck her but she has to travel to you? Who cares if she's traveled to you the last three times? Are you going to turn her away if she travels to you again, because she is so horny and wants s3x with you?

Again, it's only been a week, since your first time, are you not also extra horny now?

For a girl that is still so conservative/religious that she won't masturbate, what makes you think that she's suddenly going to go sleep with random guys that are not you?

You've been in a LDR for 1 year. She loves you. She gave you her virginity a week ago. She's begging you for YOU to fvck her. She is not suddenly going to go sleep with other guys.

Why not more effort/interest from you? Why not invite her to travel to you if she wants s3x? Are you also sleeping with other girls or intending to and therefore just not that interested in this girl now?

I don't get the jump to should I breakup because she might sleep with another guy so you need to cut her off first, when there is no sign that she has any intention of cheating.

I wonder, if now that you've slept with her, if you are looking for a way out, of your relationship so you feel free to sleep with other girls too?

What else is going on here?

I think it's important you get some reps in, because it tightens her affinity towards you. I'd say after 10 or so sex acts, she will be hooked. She will hunger and desire for you more strongly. It won't be easily replaceable with another male. A virgin is kind of cool if she's open minded, because you will be the first for so many things. Plus her excitement level will be high behind it all, because she hasn't desensitized due to having too many different c0cks.

 

[cola]

Can you accept the fact that she will probably bang another dude at some point?
If you like her I'd keep her around but id bang other chicks, and never tell her about them.

It sounds amoral but the fact I'm 89% sure she at some point will do the same would justify it enough for me..

The liveyourdream chick makes sense too.. Heh..She doesn't seem like a promiscuous type, but she just discovered sex and is around dudes all the time so I duuuuuuuuno..

I wouldnt end it just yet, but I wouldn't turn down local coochie either..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Can you accept the fact that she will probably bang another dude at some point?
If you like her I'd keep get around but id bang other chicks, and never tell her about them.

It sounds amoral but the fact I'm 89% sure she at some point will do the same would justify it enough for me..

The liveyourdream chick makes sense too.. Heh..

I've had virgin gf's that stayed on me as long as I was in to them. It was their character. They were honest and steadfast with people, and they were like this in relationships too.

So with the right woman, he doesn't necessarily have to worry about her hopping on another pipe. And if she loves him and expiriments it will feel bad and she will be happy that she's with him and stop doing it.

I think it depends upon her personality.

 

[cola]

I've had virgin gf's that stayed on me as long as I was in to them. It was their character. They were honest and steadfast with people, and they were like this in relationships too.

So with the right woman, he doesn't necessarily have to worry about her hopping on another pipe. And if she loves him and expiriments it will feel bad and she will be happy that she's with him and stop doing it.

I think it depends upon her personality.

Agreed, I even edited my post a little right before you posted, but being in a ldr and just discovering how awesome sex is, and being around hot guys all the time...
I wouldnt label her a bad person if she had a momentary lapse of judgement..
Not trying to be a pessimist here just realistic..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Agreed, I even edited my post a little right before you posted, but being in a ldr and just discovering how awesome sex is, and being around hot guys all the time...
I wouldnt label her a bad person if she had a momentary lapse of judgement..
Not trying to be a pessimist here just realistic..

If she's young she may expirament a bit, but if she likes him enough it will bother her and she will cut it out. She will look at why she likes him, and it will over rule many of the SMV rules that we have here. Also she may not even expirament, that's why I was saying it's important for her to be screwing her as much as possible.

 

[Desdinova]

They get really attached to whoever takes their virginity.

This isn't always accurate. What matters is how she feels overall about him. The fact that she's young and emotionally vulnerable is what's going to keep her attached to him. It's very likely that at this point, she will stay faithful to him while he is away. All he needs to do is some maintenance during that period, and she'll be waiting for him when he gets back.

OP, as long as you treat the situation with confidence as opposed to being mushy and romantic, she'll stick with you. Here's an example:

What to say: Don't worry baby. Once I'm back, you're gonna have me all to yourself.
What not to say: I miss you too and it's really hard to live without you. I think about you all the time and it hurts to be away from you.

Give her very little indication that you miss her, but at the same time encourage her to feel that she's missing you. You're better off telling her you missed her while you're involved in foreplay upon your return.

 

[Alpheta]

This isn't always accurate. What matters is how she feels overall about him. The fact that she's young and emotionally vulnerable is what's going to keep her attached to him. It's very likely that at this point, she will stay faithful to him while he is away. All he needs to do is some maintenance during that period, and she'll be waiting for him when he gets back.

OP, as long as you treat the situation with confidence as opposed to being mushy and romantic, she'll stick with you. Here's an example:

What to say: Don't worry baby. Once I'm back, you're gonna have me all to yourself.
What not to say: I miss you too and it's really hard to live without you. I think about you all the time and it hurts to be away from you.

Give her very little indication that you miss her, but at the same time encourage her to feel that she's missing you. You're better off telling her you missed her while you're involved in foreplay upon your return.

Im not romantic to say the least. She hardly hears anything sweet or needy from me. Hell ive made it known that we keep texting minimal and phone convos only for the weekend.

To anyone thinking im looking for an xcuse, its not that. I just cant afford to waste my time. I do like the girl. Want to make it an LTR. Just dont know if its worth it.

 

[Desdinova]

To anyone thinking im looking for an xcuse, its not that. I just cant afford to waste my time. I do like the girl. Want to make it an LTR. Just dont know if its worth it.

From where it sits right now, I'd say it's worth keeping things going. If you notice a major change in her behaviour, that's when you change your game plan. Until then, keep doing what you're doing.

 

[Alpheta]

From where it sits right now, I'd say it's worth keeping things going. If you notice a major change in her behaviour, that's when you change your game plan. Until then, keep doing what you're doing.

elaborate on major change in behaviour.If there is a change what can i possibly do?

 

[LiveYourDream]

From my perspective, you've maintained your frame with this woman for a year. Now that you have had sex with her it seems to have triggered something in you, as you seem to suddenly be questioning all the dynamics and feeling insecure.

I cannot emphasize enough that she loves YOU, wants to be with YOU and wants YOUR c0ck! She's horny like crazy. That does not translate into she's going to go jump on the c0ck carousel. In different situations with a different girl that would be an expected response. It is NOT what your girl, in your situation is at all likely to do. (She is a religious girl that lost her virginity a week and a half ago, who is afraid to masturbate for moral reasons.) The only way I see that happening is if you start being an assh0le, needy, insecure, lose the frame you've maintained so well, or fail to acknowledge her desire to be fvcked by YOU again. If she has to wait a month she will as long as she knows it's your intent as well. Relax. She's not looking for a different c0ck! She's looking for reassurance that she gets to have yours again and to know when so she can get excited about it!

If this girl is one you'd like to keep options open with long term, realize this is a crucial time to manage well. She feels vulnerable and doesn't want to second guess her choice to give you her virginity or regret it in retrospect. She wants to know it's just the beginning of lots of good sex together. Relax.

 

[Desdinova]

elaborate on major change in behaviour.If there is a change what can i possibly do?

It's hard to say because I don't know what your habits with her are like. If she always initiates texts, she'll quit doing that. If she likes to talk about what your future is like together, she'll quit doing that.

Women become highly focused on the activities of the men they're most interested in. That's how I was able to tell my wife was cheating on me. She started getting into skating and hockey. I wasn't interested in either, so I knew someone else was influencing her.

The best thing you can do is just keep your eyes open. Don't over-analyze everything she does and wonder if it's a sign she's cheating. If she changes her focus, you'll notice. Until then, keep doing what you're doing.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's hard to say because I don't know what your habits with her are like. If she always initiates texts, she'll quit doing that. If she likes to talk about what your future is like together, she'll quit doing that.

Women become highly focused on the activities of the men they're most interested in. That's how I was able to tell my wife was cheating on me. She started getting into skating and hockey. I wasn't interested in either, so I knew someone else was influencing her.

This is VERY VERY true. There are observations like this, that new habits, new hobbies and interests out of the blue which are at times obtuse to your spouses typical norm. It usually is associated with the affair partner.

They spin up a new world together and everything in there for the cheating spouse is like a dreamland escape from reality.

The best thing you can do is just keep your eyes open. Don't over-analyze everything she does and wonder if it's a sign she's cheating. If she changes her focus, you'll notice. Until then, keep doing what you're doing.