Should I agree to weekend away with flaky/low interest girl?

[Infern0]

Long story short, have been "seeing" a plate for a couple of months, good sex, i like her, but her interest is somewhere between 60-70%, and as much as I lay back etc it doesn't seem to raise past 70.

Anyway a couple of days ago we realise we have some time off at the same time which is rare for us, and she suggests we should go away for a long weekend.

I thought it was a good idea so i was like sure we should look into it, as I figured the time together may grow her IL, as we don't get much time together, and 3 days just us could be good for that purpose.

However, as I say her IL is not as high as i'd like and in my mind i'm struggling with thoughts of "she doesn't deserve it" as, though she says she will pay her way on things, i have no doubt i'm going to be paying more than her, and also, a long weekend away is going to cost a fair bit, in the run up to christmas, i'll be stretching to fit it into my budget.

If she was high IL then i wouldn't think twice, but i have honestly considered nexting this girl quite a bit, but usually at the last minute she'll redeem herself, but she's been on the edge for the last couple of weeks. As i say, I do like her, but i don't want to waste time and money on a low IL plate.

Opinions on this?

Go, possibly have a great time and raise IL, or have the opposite effect in which case i can end it

Don't go and see if her IL raises before commiting to something like a trip

 

[fafo]

Do you have someone better to go with ?
Or do you have other options in the location of your trip ?

IMO If you have options its better to explore them than to over-analyze and eventually ruin your weekend off.
there is a slim chance you can bond with her but if you haven't already I doubt it will happen.

Anyway if you don't have anyone better to go with you can explore this option with outcome independent mindset.

 

[dustmuffin]

She sugesests a weekend together. That shoes interest in you. Go split the costs. The goal is to enjoy yourself and have sex. If her interest level increases great. If not you still have a plate. Your objective should always be to have fun.

 

[Tictac]

I've done this a couple of times. It's a frustrating and unsatisfactory thing.

Don't waste your time or your money. Go by yourself if you have to.

 

[skinnyguy]

I did this before with a very hot girl. We went to vegas and it was a disaster.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Funny enough, I'm actually doing a podcast today about when it's appropriate to do "big-ticket item" type of events with a girl you're seeing. My stance is that, until she becomes the actual girlfriend, big-ticket item dates are "no-no's" and something she needs to earn.

Perfect example: last night, I took my girlfriend to see a Janet Jackson concert. Cost a lot of money, but we've been dating for a while now and she's earned it by way of being nice, catering to my needs and showing me the kind of affection I want.

Contrast that with: a few years ago, I took a girl out on a 2nd date to Disney on Ice. Also cost a lot of money, but she had mentioned wanting to go to it so I surprised her with tickets. I thought it would be a slam dunk; in actuality, she was distant the whole night, conversation was now awkward, and I didn't get a kiss at the end.

The difference? Timing. Specifically, time spent in the relationship - a girl that's only a few dates/a couple of months in hasn't done enough to warrant you taking her to such a high-priced outing. On top of that, those first few months you should only be seeing the girl once or twice a week for a few hours. You being on a trip with her for even 2 days is 48 hours of being around the same person - and, when you don't have enough months/time in with a girl yet, you are bound to end up getting on each other's nerves.

Why? If you're with a girl for say, even 3 to 6 months, at least by that point she's gotten use to some of your more annoying traits because they've come out in spurts here or there. 2 months in, though? She's still getting used to you, and isn't yet aware of some of the things you do that are annoying that she would tolerate had you been dating her longer. Some of those annoying things WILL come out during the trip, and you end up risking her seeing a bunch of your annoying traits at one time and thinking to herself, "Do I REALLY want to be with this guy? Hmmm, I don't think so..."

Your best bet would be to politely decline. Say something came up, or you have to work, or ANYTHING that will get you out of doing the weekend getaway.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Podcast about this post is up! Check it out HERE

 

[thatfeel]

Harry hit the nail on the head.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Common sense says that a flakey low interest girl will not only maintain her low interest in you and her a ****ed up time on the time, but in your case flake on you.