SHINE

[CHALENGE GUY]

I realized something lately.
As far as I can remember, I always thought being suave and confident were the key, and I was right. But I was oblivious of an important caveat, a warning that was probably here the whole time, but somehow I disregarded it because i didn’t have time to fiddle with details : I just wanted to get laid and have a girlfriend.
Anyway.. now I understand.
Now I know what one must always hold on to as he is desperately trying to become the great catch… and here it is : be yourself and SHINE.
But stay with me… I’m not telling you " just be yourself ". We all know this harsassing refrain by heart, and most of the time it’s sung by hideous chicks, eternal bachelors and your caring mom. Wanna know the defenition if insanity ? Always doing the same thing and expecting a different result. The " just be yourself " phrase is garbage.
What I’m telling you is this : rise and shine.
You love comic books and you feel that it’s gonna turn off potential mates ? Who cares… be confident about it and SHINE, show the world who you are with utter assertiveness. You shouldn’t be afraid of what you are.
You’re a nerd and you love physics? SHINE.
You love that ragged sweat shirt ? Wear it and shine.
You hate bars but you stay with your friends anyway because.. " you know… I won’t get laid if I stay home all night… " Well my friend, let me tell you something : you don’t need these places. Shine and people will be attracted to you because you're real, not because you got a new haircut or because you dance well. This is all flashy garbage, and deep down we all know it.
Be real. Stand up for what you think is right and express yourself.
Stop tryin to proove yourself. SHINE.
Confidence isn’t about projecting an image of decisiveness or standing tall with your protruding chest. Confidence is knowing yourself and accepting it. Confidence is embracing what is still virginal about your dreams, values… who you are.
I’m not asking you to "just be yourself", I’m asking you to SHINE.
The world is full of expert don juans. But, hey, there’s only one YOU in the world. Make sure it shines bright.
Expert don juans… some women will fall for them. Others won’t. Other’s are waiting for a certain shade of light : yours. You don’t need all the women in the world. When the real thing happens, one women is almost too much.
So while you make sure you stick to the basic principles, remember that authenticity will be unbeatable and the right woman will appear.


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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

THE DJ BIBLE

[This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 08-21-2001).]

 

[Drew]

Tips Section.

 

[PortugueseMeatball]

Originally posted by CHALENGE GUY:
You're a nerd and you love physics? SHINE.

Oh Lord!!! I'm a physics graduate!

lol

You hate bars but you stay with your friends anyway because.. " you know? I won't get laid if I stay home all night? " Well my friend, let me tell you something : you don't need these places.

Yep, you're right. Besides I don't see that bars are a good place to talk to a girl since it's too noisy. Also, I don't drink or smoke.

 

[Monkey]

GREAT POST CHALENGE GUY!

 

[The Critic]

be yourself and SHINE.

Good advice

The " just be yourself " phrase is garbage.

Your whole post is about "being yourself"…why contradict yourself???

i.e "show the world who you are with utter assertiveness. You shouldn't be afraid of what you are."

You love that ragged sweat shirt ? Wear it and shine.

I assume that is just to prove your point on "just being yourself". Here's a tip, if you keep wearing that ragged sweatshirt you're going to be single for a long, long while. Get rid of the sweatshirt and spend 30-40 dollars on a new one.

Confidence is knowing yourself and accepting it

You're right about the "knowing yourself" part but you don't always have to accept it. This is the reason why most people are here, they want to change and become confident with the ladies. If you keep telling them to accept their shortcomings they will get nowhere. They must become as skilled in this game as they possibly can. When they can get no better, that's when they need to accept it; not the other way around.

I'm not asking you to be yourself, I'm asking you to SHINE.

There's a thin line between the two. I know you know what you're talking about but many others might be confused by the way you worded this post. Many of the ideas are not clearly stated and there is a contradiction every few lines. You should spend a little more time thinking about this and come out with a more clear and convincing tip. Don't take it personally, I report what is true.

remember that authenticity will be unbeatable

That's what I like to hear!

the right woman will appear.

No, the right woman will not just appear. You must take the initiative to go out and get her. You can't just sit around by yourself or with your friends and say "This is who I am, if the women don't like it they can kiss my ass!" That attitude will definitely keep you an "eternal bachelor".

 

[Monkey]

I think that what chalenge guy is trying to say is stop chasing something which just isn't you.

Of course always improve yourself but if you have passion for something, anything, then live it to the full. You love stamp collecting? Great! embrace it, get enthusiastic about it and let that enthusiam rub off on others.

[This message has been edited by Monkey (edited 08-19-2001).]

 

[DJ Ripcurl]

You know, that was the best advice I have read all day. Thanx hombre

 

[CHALENGE GUY]

Critic, I guess your right : my post could have been phrased more clearly (maybe that's because I was too enthusiastic when I wrote it, and not critical enough).

Anyway, my feeling is that when people tell us to "just be yourself", we usually interpret : hey, I have nothing to improve : and that's a trap. Just be yourself sounds like : remain the way you are, with your insecurities and disbeliefs.

The key here is to embrace everything you are and stop being ashamed of what you think, what you love, what you believe in, what you are deep inside.

Here's the metaphor. Imagine that what people see when they look at you is an extravagant glass work, like the ones you see in churches. My message is this : you don't need to add more fiery colors and elegant shapes to it. You don't need to be ashamed of the dust tarnishing its light. Here's what you do : throw a rock in it, shatter it down, and reveal the virginal light beyond. That's who you are. The stained glass is dull and dark in comparison.

And that fantastic sentence of yours : "This is who I am, if the women don't like it they can kiss my ass!"... this is what you say before and after the "Wanna-be-a-dj" phase :

Eternal Bachelor says : "This is who I am, if the women don't like it they can kiss my ass!"

Wanna-be-a-dj says : "I will be what women like (or what this board advises)."

SHINING MAN stage : "This is who I am, if the women don't like it they can kiss my ass!"

Take care.

------------------
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

THE DJ BIBLE

[This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 08-20-2001).]

[This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 08-21-2001).]

 

[REd-xL]

This sounds way too much like the advice a chick would give you.

If you're a pedophile, let it SHINE?

If you like to masturbate, let it SHINE?

If you like to play Magic: The Gathering, let it SHINE?

Hell fukkin no, my friend. If you want game, you gotta play the game. You'd be a fool to allow unattractive quality traits to SHINE.

It doesn't matter how confident you are talking about Star Trek in public; you will turn off every girl you fantasize about and be left with the slim picking of unattractive, insecure girls who might share common interest if she didn't think she was already too good for you.

Don't be stubborn about changing who you are. Change is natural, if not essential, and if you're trying to learn how to succeed with women, then your soul won't be at ease until you satisfy yourself and your desires.

Rx

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REd-xL (19) California

The only failure in seduction is letting one get away. -Jerome

 

[CHALENGE GUY]

huh... never mind

 

[Monkey]

They say human cloning should be banned but there are already millions of 'clones' out there!

With every respect, most human beings on this earth are generally the same - they've been moulded by what society thinks they should be, they change to fit in, they dress the same, get the same hair cuts etc. Yes people do appear to be different but are they really?


Look at your best personalities traits - enhance them!, what do you love doing the most? do it with even more enthusiasm! Work on what you are best at! do it with passion and stop trying to 'become' someone else but become the very best of what YOU are.

Posted by REd-xL
It doesn't matter how confident you are talking about Star Trek in public; you will turn off every girl

Ahhh, but what's stopping you meeting that special person at a Star Trek convention??? you certainly WONT turn them off if you immediately have a common interest!


Ultimately though if you're after a numerical amount of women then fine go ahead, dumb down your soul and become just like most of the other guys out there.

But if you want to find someone you can really connect with then let your uniqueness SHINE bright.

 

[CHALENGE GUY]

Thanks Monkey.