she's dancing with someone else!

[Wolfjay]

Hi everyone, haven't checked in for a while now, but lemme get to the point fast and quick, there's this girl I've been going out with, hanging around, and on top of it all sleeping with her, she's one I'm really into, you know the one I'm having a crush on, but I know she slept around with a few others I know, but that didn't bother me, were very close, but nothing brothered me. Until she called me telling me she's going to that bar with her 'girlfriends'... Ok, I came in there like half hr later, and see her dancing with some random guy
.. I went over to say hi and expected her to come with me, but apparently she started dancing with that guy for like an hour or so, I was very hurt, not to mention that I felt like everything we had on bed or whatever was just for 'HER' fun, so what should I do here? Tell her about it? Break up my connection with her? Keep on like nothing has happened? Again, she's not my 'GIRLFRIEND'.... we just didn't go the extra mile... Pls help me out here... My heart is breaking!! TIA

 

[Who Dares Win]

We may say "low interestest" from her.

1)she inform you that she going somewhere with her friends(hardly an interested girl will invited the guy she wants when her friends are around).

2)she knows you're going and invite an other guy/gets there an other guy and dance with him knowing you are going plus keep doing it after you show up

The suggestion is to let it go and focus on other things, work, hobbies, sport, gym even toy trains will be more productive than give her attention.

Just go ghost on her, she will understand whats going on and call you trying with a bait to get you back, you just ignore the call or be friendly but uninterested and close it quickly, ignore any hint from her that "there will be some for you", its a trap.

Go ahead with your life, improve your value and be happy after few months when you will think about it and laugh.

In case you believe in a happy ending with this girl, is very unlikely since a girl that does such things clearly doesnt have much respect from you and respect is the basic step which comes even more than desire from a woman.

The most you could do is later on if you happen to meet her, make it clear you just wanna her as a fvck buddy and nothing more and mean it....for some reason their hamster runs wild when they are degraded from potential lover (person) to fvck buddy (toy).

 

[Thorninmyside]

By going to the same club, you got clingy (and depending on how it came across, it could also look possessive/stalkerish). If she wanted you there, she would have told you to meet her there, not told you it was a girls night. You could have picked up another girl there to dance with, or gone somewhere else entirely for the night to game.

I would give her as much thought as she gave you on the dancefloor, not in a butthurt way, but in a "plenty of fish in the sea" kind of way. You're probably one horse on the **** carousel, so try to look at it with the same indifference she is.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Whatever you do, don't go emo and tell her you felt hurt, ignored, disrespected... any of that.

 

[bigneil]

A girl dancing with another guy (or telling you she did, or telling you she wants to) is pretty much Female Behavior 101. She will be no less likely to want sex from you later (and possibly more likely). Unless you act weak. A girl dancing is like a guy watching Exotic Dancers. Use those opportunities to dance with other girls yourself. If you don't have any other girls, and she has other guys, the relationship won't last, so hit the gym and start eating organic instead.

 

[sylvester the cat]

what you do is walk away and cut her out of your life.

you need to consider yourself high value in order to do this.

if ever you are afraid to walk away because you value the other person more than your own self-respect then you are DOOMED.

The other day this girl i was seeing brought up the 'age' card. how it's easy for me because i've got a 26 year old on my arm. i didn't say anything because i laughed quietly to myself. yeah, i've got a 26 year old with a previous for GBH, has admitted cheating on her boyfriend and jumped straight into bed with another man not 2 weeks after splitting from him. aren't i lucky?

i then proceeded to upload a new whatsapp profile pic with me and a couple of 22 year old hotties just to show her who the lucky one ought to be.

 

[hudpes]

Ditto. She put you in a low shelf while she's picking something from the top. This is disrespectful, but that's not the point, the point is, she's not interested. Disappear. Not with the intention of winning her interest, walk away and you will raise your dignity a notch, beg and you will drive it to the ground.

 

[Wolfjay]

Thanks everyone for your answers, but the point I didn't make is that I see her all the time, and I feel like she called me to ask me where that club is because she was shy to call me out, so she hinted me by asking me where it is so I could show up and go on with her, I met her there she was like omg, but a min later she kept on with that guy, when she saw me again she tried talking to me but I kept on dancing like she's not even here.... Should I initiate NC or that's irrelevant? Or should I just act like nothing happened and stay friends?

 

[hudpes]

Delete the desire, become aloof, but stay friendly, in other words, become disinterested. If that should spike her interest, you may consider thawing gradually, observe what she will be doing and don't mind the words - she needs to build trust and win you over. If she's really what you think you want. If that doesn't happen though, as in, no reaction, then you'll know she's not it.

 

[Soolaimon]

there's this girl I've been going out with, hanging around, and on top of it all sleeping with her, she's one I'm really into, you know the one I'm having a crush on,

Never put all your eggs into one basket catching feelings for the one egg who already has a basket of eggs herself.

It is up to you to gather more eggs into your basket so she isn't your only egg you obsess over.

but I know she slept around with a few others I know, but that didn't bother me, were very close, but nothing brothered me. Until she called me telling me she's going to that bar with her 'girlfriends'... Ok, I came in there like half hr later, and see her dancing with some random guy

This is why you don't catch feelings for a plate.

This is why you don't go running to the bar with her girlfriends showing how needy you are when she calls.

You know she sleeps around. Dancing with other guys should be expected. How do you think she is meeting them to sleep with?

What bothers you is that you saw her dancing with him and she ignored you.

You should have only used used her for sex and nothing more.

I went over to say hi and expected her to come with me, but apparently she started dancing with that guy for like an hour or so, I was very hurt, not to mention that I felt like everything we had on bed or whatever was just for 'HER' fun, so what should I do here?

This is why you don't catch feelings for a plate when she isn't taking it as serious as you are.

This is why you don't jump up and come running to her when she calls to tell you where she is at.

That is why you have other eggs in your basket besides her.

That is why you go and dance with other girls at the bar.

She sees the sex as fun and nothing more.

When you already know a girl is banging other dudes besides you don't take her seriously. Have fun having sex. Don't catch feelings expecting more out of it.

Some guys will try put boundaries on her thinking they can filter her or see if she has the same values wanting to commit to her if she asks to be exclusive.

That is a waste of time. With your own eyes you can see she is not girlfriend material by how she is behaving. You don't need boundaries when you can already see she is not worth it.

Those other guy will put boundaries on her. She will soon break their boundaries with ease becoming their ex girlfriend cause she does not care to follow "their terms". That makes their boundaries useless.

Tell her about it? Break up my connection with her? Keep on like nothing has happened? Again, she's not my 'GIRLFRIEND'.... we just didn't go the extra mile... Pls help me out here... My heart is breaking!! TIA

There is nothing to tell her. She won't care.

She knows what happened cause she ignored you for another guy at the bar. Do you think she is going to forget about that?

You are invested way too much into this than she is.

Her heart is not breaking at this very moment worried about it asking for help on a forum.

She is probably getting banged by some guy right now. Probably the guy she was dancing with.

That is what you should be doing yourself. Banging other girls if you have other eggs in your basket.

Don't rely on just one egg cause when it cracks and breaks you have no other eggs in the basket to use.

Even though she is just a plate you were disrespected after all. Don't let women treat you like $hit.

Gather up more eggs then you can toss her out of the basket.

Not every egg is always going to stay in your basket for a long amount of time.

You had your fun with her. Time to get some new eggs.