She's confusing me!?

[C-A]

Hey what's up all?! I've been here a couple of times but never posted anything but here's my first question which I hope you guys can give me a little insight and input on what's up?

Background:
Let's call the girl 'Mandy'. Well, before I got to know Mandy, she always have stared at me everytime when I notice it. I ignored it since I've got other priorities in mind. Mandy and her friends stared at me too and could it be judgemental stare? I also began to notice that she's always in my field of vision when Im outside class just socializing with friends.

Details:
After a few months, I kind of got curious about this girl I never paid attention to before. I started to talk to her and she seems very charismatic and I think she's charismatic to everyone too. She's just full of joy. Anyways, she likes asking alot of questions to me and asking me why I did not or when do I take the bus and all that, etc.. She practically wanted to know everything about me. She never disagreed with me. Everytime I see her, she smiles and says hi. The staring from her and also her friends from a distance kept getting more frequent and also her presence in my field of vision. Mandy just pops-out of nowhere.

So I assumed, this girl likes me or have a crush on me. So I decided to get to know more about her. Now, I decided to get to know her too.

Now, everytime I pursue her, she tends to get nervous and stressed. She doesnt ask me questions anymore. Once, I initiated a short conversation and ask her a simple question about if wether she's going to class then she just left for no reason. She still stares from a distance but tends to avoid to be near me but she still says hi and smile when she has no choice to avoid me.

When Im not paying attention, ignoring her or not pursuing her, she tries to make her presence felt by any means to get my attention. Dropping pens in front of me and smiles, talking loud, turning around to stare at me and smile.

I assume she's just very friendly to everyone and generally very charismatic person so I kind of let it drift away and not concentrate on it. But it's hard to just cancel out the signals she gave before.

Finally, I saw her outside school but she talks more to her friend than to me. She didn't let me in the conversation, I had to jump in myself. At the end she's trying to get away from me again by saying bye and fleeing away but I asked her number for the reason of getting in touch during the summer, she got her pen and paper wrote it down quickly.

Im thinking of asking her out next week but I have no idea if she's just being very nice and friendly to me as in friends only or likes me in a romantic way.

Input are very much appreciated because-me-is-confuse! Is she that naive??

Regards,
C-A

 

[Grey Fox]

Slow down there sport, this is going to seem strange but the less you want a woman the more there going to want you. Make her feel insecure by treating her like one of your buddies, be ****y and take her off that high horse by acting like she's beneath you. Don't be a complete @sshole, but just be sure to remind her that she's not that special. Heck return the number she gave you and give her yours and say "Actually why don't you call me instead." It puts the ball in her court, questions in her head and takes her down a peg.

 

[C-A]

Grey Fox,

That is true, the less you want a woman the more there going to want you, I just hope I wont give her the wrong impression that I dont really really like her at all. I will elaborate on that. Thanks!


Can anyone else give me their thoughts and input about this? Thanks!

 

[BGMan]

Hey CA,

I highly doubt that if she was acting so weird around you, then you'd be in her friends zone. A girl will act totally abnormal around a guy she likes.

Just remember that.

BGMan

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by BGMan


I highly doubt that if she was acting so weird around you, then you'd be in her friends zone. A girl will act totally abnormal around a guy she likes.

Agreed, 100%. My sis's housemate acted all weird when I was there, and neither of us (me & sis) had a clue until she jumped me months later.

 

[Quick]

Don't play the yo-yo game. Find out if she wants you or doesn't. Call her and ask her out. If she says no, then forget about her. The best thing to do in these situations is to ask the person out directly and force them to either say yes and and see where it goes, or say no and be dismissed.

 

[C-A]

Hey guys, I guess I should just get to the point and ask her out because seriously the acting weird thing has to end the sooner the better. Plus, like Quick said, dont play the yo-yo game because I think its just time consuming for this situation even though it would be fun but might get stretch into something else.

Very true BGMan, a girl will act totally abnormal around a guy she likes. Damn, it's just funny and confusing though when they do that.

Thanks alot for your input guys!

Get to the main point! - I like that and it should always be like that!

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Quick
Don't play the yo-yo game. Find out if she wants you or doesn't. Call her and ask her out. If she says no, then forget about her. The best thing to do in these situations is to ask the person out directly and force them to either say yes and and see where it goes, or say no and be dismissed.

Haha, typical guy response. Get down to the center of the problem and solve it. Well the girl actually seems quite insecure and shy, despite her best efforts to be charismatic. She is fighting her own insecurity, while hiding it behind charisma, and it appears to me that she is still pretty inexperienced in the ways of the dating scene.

Of course you could ask her straight out if she wants to go out with you or not, but it's very likely you'll get a no. Try it and see. Now the other thing is that if you don't want to spend too much time with her, you can cut it right there, but if you do I'd suggest that you become in a way, her life teacher.

All you need is some deep insights into her life that you couldn't possibly know and she'll be hooked. She is going to learn about guys anyway from other experiences, and she'll like a t times, or get hurt emotionally at other times, so it's a matter of whether or not you want to be a part of it.

Oh and throughout this all I assumed that this is all happening in high-school, so it only applies if my assumption is true.

 

[bp31895]

She's confusing me!

I agree with quick call her # and ask her out, if she acts weird or says no, lose the #. I don't know for sure but it has been my experience that chicks that send mixed signals either have a low interest level, their not sane or they are extremely insecure and you don't want that anyway. Make the call and you'll know where you stand quickly so you can spend your time wisely.

 

[C-A]

The girl is shy and I find that she's naive but I dont know to what extent. The way I saw it from the beginning is she's pretty much unexperienced in the dating scene. The only facts to support that is my own personal observation and not from someone else.

Her insecurity may have played the role of her behavior such as from normal(when she was showing interest) to abnormal(when I started to show interest too) and maybe she's sending mixed signals but I couldn't gather enough evidence that she dislikes me because like I said before when I ignore her because she avoids me then she tries to get my attention back. Vice-versa. Why would a girl that likes you avoid you if she knows/finds out you're starting to show interest too? Insecurity? Then insecurity is complex thing.

This is college by the way but it seems like she still has that high school mentality when it comes to guys.

Well, Im going to ask her out and find out. My curiousity always bugs me in abnormal situations or situations I've never been to before.

===========================
Also, why would insecurity and lack of experience would lead to assuming girls are going to hesitate a date? Even though they know the guy they are interested shows interest in them too?

It's just I've never experienced this in all my past relationships.

Thanks guys!

 

[bp31895]

Also, why would insecurity and lack of experience would lead to assuming girls are going to hesitate a date? Even though they know the guy they are interested shows interest in them too?


Well I think it is very similar to AFC. A guy maybe interested in a girl but his lack of experience with women or lack of confidence or insecurity in himself might cause him to act not interested. Similiar to your situation if the girls stops paying attention to him, he wants that attention back so he does things to get the girls attention but once he has it he doesn't know what to do with it so he runs or does something stupid. This can be due to a lot of things like insecurity, lack of confidence, or inexperience.

I am 28, graduated college about 5 years ago, so I remember how college women can be an it sometimes can be like high school just remember to use the Don Juan system. If I would have had this in college I would have a lot more girls and a lot less heartache.

I don't this girl that you are talking about so I am just going on what I know but the girl seems a little insecure which can lead to problems later if you date your like Jealosuy, nagging etc.. If you have a full pipeline of girls than you might want to ask to her out to check your huntch but be ready to next her and spend time with girls that are little more confident.

 

[legolas]

C-A,

Why are you trying to logically sort out behavior that was clearly fueled by emotions? If you see it as behavior fueled by emotions, what you gather is that the girl seems unstable emotionally, (quick mood swings, noticable behavior changes)

As another poster noted, she smells trouble. An emotionally stable woman would clearly show what she intends and stick by it.

NEXT!!!